My baby father n me were in a relationship we have a 9 month old baby i just currently found out that he is having a baby by his ex girlfriend i was in shock all along he was cheating she is now about 2 month pregnant i dont know what to do should i let him see my son or take him to child support ever since i found out we have now broke up i dont know how to react he really hurt my son and myself most of all what should i do??????
2007-05-21 11:31:03 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he does not have a job will i still get anything from him with child support what should i do while time being until we get a court date let him see his son even though he doesnt provide for him?
2007-05-21 11:52:00 · update #1
Well you two are not married, so that's good. You cannot force the courts to give you full custody with no visitation. I say you need to move on since he likes to make many babies with multiple women. I suggest you get on some birth control.
2007-05-21 11:37:21 · answer #1 · answered by SillierKimmy! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know he's hurt you and it's a shame. You deserve better and did the right thing by leaving. However no matter how you feel shouldn't be an indicator as to whether he should have contact with his child. Give him a chance to prove he's responsible. (ie. child support, visitation, baby sitting, etc.) Don't let your son grow up thinking you were the one responsible for him not having a relationship with his father. Even with a relationship you do have a say so in who your son's around, where he goes, etc. Make sure boundaries are clear with your ex as to what you expect. If he's not meeting his obligations then document everything. Day, date, time and circumstances. This will help you in the future if you have to go through legal channels. Remember you have a right to feel angry, hurt and disappointed. Take time to heal and start again. Focus on being the best mom you can be.
2007-05-21 11:38:59 · answer #2 · answered by Orion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he hurt you more then your son and your ego is bruised. Trust me I have been there. Found out when my son was about that age that his father was cheating. As for the letting him see his son. You have to ask yourself if he is a good father. Then if he is even though he apparently sucked as a boyfriend you shouldnt deprive your son of the father role that he needs in his life. As for child support I would take him to court for that so that he help support his child unless the two of you decide to have him pay without going to court. No matter what you do make sure you get the child support in writing so that if things do go where he doesnt pay the support you can go to court with the paperwork and get him to pay the child support
2007-05-21 11:38:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all your better off not being in a relationship with him if he cheated. second even though he did that is he a good father? if so don't keep him from his son. and third. if the only reason your gonna take him to court is to get back at him don't do it. it won't change anything. and since your son is only 9 months he doesn't have the capacity to fully understand what is going on. the only thing he would understand is not seeing his dad anymore.
2007-05-21 11:37:12 · answer #4 · answered by bebe77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a hard situation. i must first correct you though-- he didn't hurt his son when he cheated on you-- he hurt you, terribly, but that is still no reason to keep HIS son away from him, nor deny your child the right to see his father.
yes, you should seek child support, that is your child's right. keep things civil between the two of you, for the sake of your child only, other then that, there shouldn't be any other contact.
a child needs BOTH of his parents, whether you two are together or not,
and it is the father's RESPONSIBILITY to provide for his child.
go after what is rightfully your child's (financial support) and allow your child to have a relationship w/ his father.
good luck!
2007-05-21 11:38:08 · answer #5 · answered by who cares! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take him for child support you have no choice but to let him see the child. It will be part of the court order whether or not you want it. Fact is you would be selfish and immature to not let him see the child. In addition, the child will grow to hate you for not letting it's father be part of it's life.
Sorry to say but it's your fault for the way thing have turned out. You were the one to choose a loser to make babies with, now you are unhappy about your choice. Next time pick a better guy.
2007-05-21 11:36:23 · answer #6 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you should allow him to see his child. No matter what happens between you and the father do not take it out on the child. Because in the end, when the child is older he will blame you for keeping them apart. Yes, go and get court ordered support and do it before this other child is born. And please do not go back to this man. He does not mean well and all he thinks of is himself . You can find someone who will love and respect only you. It is time to move on and get on with life.
2007-05-21 11:40:23 · answer #7 · answered by Tina #1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm so sorry, what a jerk of a person he is. I work in a Law Office, and my first suggestion to you is to go in for a consultation with an attorney and first set up child support payments, if your worried about him not paying and skipping out they can garnish his wages so it will automatically be taken out of any check he recieves through his job. 2nd, you need to see about what you can do regarding visitation. They are going to ask to see if he signed the birth certificate, if he did then he has rights to see the child, if he didnt then you have a case that you pretty much can decide how to go with it. If you would like him in your babies life, then you can set up a visitation schedule, or you can see about not giving him any visitation. THis is a very hard and painful time for you i'm sure. The main thing is to think of what is best for you and y our baby. I wish you the best and hope this information helped you out a little.
2007-05-21 11:39:06 · answer #8 · answered by roxygurl1307 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his obligation to pay child support. So yes, file with your state child support services -- they are great - they take the money right out of his paycheck and send it to you. I know it's a difficult time for you right now -- but if it means anything to you --- I was a single parent for five years. I met a great guy and we got married and we are a family. I have two other children with him -- and I have never been happier. The same will happen for you.
P.S. My daughter has nothing to do with her biological father. He hasn't seen her since she was 5. She is now 18.
2007-05-21 11:41:50 · answer #9 · answered by DEBBIE G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like you are not married to the guy. So you have the same status as the other girlfriend --- free rides. The only thing you can get out of him is child support, if he has an income.
2007-05-21 11:38:41 · answer #10 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋