During my Divorce and ongoing custody battle, My ex wife's attorney had a conference with my 9yearold daughter

Question

I don't think this was right for him to do? Not long after this encounter my daughter told me she was asked to snoop when at my house. That this man didn't like me and she didn't want to have to talk to him any more??? We did question the other side that they had taken our daughter to a lawyer but never got to the bottom of it. We received a bill because they wanted me to pay my ex's attorneys fees, which never happend. I did get a copy of the bill, went through it and noticed a conference with my daughter right before I took her on summer vacation. Later it would come up in court that my daughter stole a address book from my house for her mom, all testified under oath by this attorney and my ex-wife. Is this ok behavior?? My daughter seems fearful of someone within my ex's circle and keeps saying they want her to "snoop"to get info for them. I was under the impression child were not to get in the middle?? Please any input will help

Answer 1

There's no gun to your daughter's head is there? If she's stealing from you, she's a player too. I don't think you can win here. Sounds like a very bitter divorce.

None of this is ethical or okay behavior. I guess you should sit down and figure out what exactly you want as far as custody, child support, etc. Otherwise you can be battling it out and paying attorney fees forever.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

First, I am certainly not an attorney. But I am going through a divorce and am becoming familiar with the laws of Illinois and practices of the courts here.

That said, I do believe the courts will not be favorable to your wife and her lawyer for their actions. It is generally considered intolerable to use a child to collect evidence against the other spouse. And I doubt a stolen address book would be admissible in court.

I highly recommend you spend the money and bring this issue up with a competent child custody lawyer in the state that has jurisdiction over your case rather than here on yahoo answers.

Under no circumstances should you take this matter directly to the judge in your case. It will backfire. You have no experience in courtroom rules, etiquette, allowable evidence, or even how to effectively present this story. That's what lawyers are for.

One other thing. You're wife has placed you under a magnifying glass right now. Do you understand that? You need to return the favor.

Answer 4

During your divorce and custody battle, it is acceptable to have a conference with your daughter but snooping is not the right thing. You can take help from an attorney in this matter. I will suggest you to take help from www.legalservices4less.com.They will definitely help you

Answer 5

Does your lawyer know about this?
I would certainly ask if this would be an ethics issue considering that your ex's lawyer is leading a child into dishonest behavior and attempting a rift with your relationship with her.
You may try to get full custody of your daughter as well. If your daughter is fearful of your ex's circle of acquaintances, then maybe she needs to be removed from the household.

Answer 6

This is very wrong. Report him to the Judge for unethical methods. No child should be "legally" made to spy on a parent for the benefit of the other parent.This lawyer should not be practicing law. Show the Judge the bill. At least she told you what mommy is up to. If proven the atty could be charged with unethical practices and be disbared. Good luck

Answer 7

You need to get to your attorney like yesterday. Some ex you have, working your child like that! You also need to investigate a court guardian for your daughter if your ex is going to behave this way. How vould they testify they had her steal from you and the judge let this pass by????

But see your atty at once and see what you need to do to protect your daughter. She should be denied unsupervised visitation based on her actions and your daughter's fear. Please don't hesitate, make the move to help your little girl. Your ex is a piece of garbage; the karma train will make a long stop at her house.

Answer 8

My ex-husband's attorney even admitted in court that he spoke to my daughter in his offices. I have no doubt that he was coaching her, and trying to intimidate her. My attorney didn't feel like it was worth pursuing, that it would be a slap on the wrist at best. My opinion is that the rules should be enforced by a neutral party (like a referee enforces the rule in a game). It shouldn't be up to one of the agrieved parties to keep the playing field level.

Answer 9

I agree, your daughter should not be put in the middle. The people who want your daughter to snoop when she is at your place are not behaving in your daughter's best interest.

Whether this is legal or not is another question. I would urge you to discuss this with your lawyer ASAP. If your ex is putting this stress on your daughter it is an argument against giving her custody, since she does not seem to realize how this is harmful to your daughter.

You might also want to see what kind of counselling is available for your daughter and yourself to cope with this very stressful situation.

Answer 10

Oh that is sooo awful for your ex to be using your daughter like this!! children should not be involved!!

if they are trying to do these things I can only imagine your ex's circle are probably telling her horrible things about you because they want her to not like you.

I can only say speak to your lawyer about this. If you get a sensible judge the judge should take this into consideration.