Keeping track of kids things when going to and from Ex's house help?

Question

I am not opposed to letting my kids take things over to their dad's house on his weekends. I've never had a problem before until just recently. I don't so much mind clothes getting mixed up or left over there, but my daughter had her NintendoDS stolen at their house. A month later the little girl down the street finally confessed. Now, my son let his step sister "borrow" his IPOD, she took it to school & guess what.....someone stole it. I swore i would never let them take another expensive gadget or toy over there EVER again. They act like that's not fair. These are things I pay for! Should i not be mad at that?? Is there anyone else who doesn't allow their kids to take things over to their ex's?? Am I being unreasonable?

Oh I have no intentions on replacing anything they loose or anything that is stolen.
the Nintendo was returned...but the IPOD is still missing. those are the only expensive things my kids have so I am really upset. All i know is never again am i allowing them to take things like that over there. You are all right...except for the Freelancer idiot.

Oh, and i didn't think i was blaming the adults. In which part of my sentences did i say that?

Answer 1

no u are right and next time dont let them take any games over there no more and tell ur ex that he is going 2 replace ur daughter nintendto ds cause it got stolen so yeah u are suosspe 2 take up 4 ur kids u are doing the right thing.

Answer 2

It's a common problem and has been forever. I know of no solution other than buying 2 of everything. I would suggest that you sit the kids down and calmly explain to them that you bought these items (or any others that they want to take in the future) and you can't replace them if they are lost or stolen. Give them the option of taking them and being responsible for bringing them home, but don't replace what doesn't make it back. They may soon decide for themselves that it's not worth it to take anything they care about to their dad's, or they may learn to take better care of their belongings. Either way, you'll be doing yourself a favor by putting the burden of responsibility on the kids. That may sound harsh, but it will help them and you in the long run.

Answer 3

The 12 twelve months old is sufficiently old to be responsible and extra could be predicted from the different 2 besides. it extremely is a pastime, i'm specific. do not purchase extra outfits and don't grant to pass get those to procure. i'm not specific of your situation (visitation and sharing young babies) yet while that's the place the clothing are that's the place they stay, till their next pass to. save your receipts (a shoe field below the mattress). all people complains instruct them the field. the youngsters are controlling you this way. tell them it extremely is purely too undesirable they left their outfits and you wish they did not like the hot ones that lots because of the fact you're unlikely over to get them. maximum severe confirm and enable them to nicely known how 'How unhappy it extremely is they not can placed on their new outfits' Say it in earnest. Say to your self while your on my own so which you're able to do it with a immediately face. evaluate finding right into a parenting type called "Parenting with Love and logic" sturdy success!

Answer 4

Your best bet is to let your children know that their possessions are THEIR responsibility.
If they choose to lend them to others or leave them elsewhere, then they just won't have them anymore. Period. Do not go out and buy a new one, especially if your kids contradict you.
If you always run interference for your kids, they will not learn responsibility for their things.
Yes, I would be angry as well if I had spent a lot of money on things for my kids and then they 'got lost'.
On the other hand, what's done is done, and there's nothing you can do about that now.
I think it would be better for your kids to take their things and lose them and thus learn a lesson than you protecting them over their protests. Yes, you can make sure they keep their things that way, but they will not learn to care for their possessions - and, you will be viewed as the evil one in this scenario which again gives them room to blame someone else for their dissatisfaction.

Answer 5

Yes, you are. You can't blame the adults when the kids make their own innocent bargains of borrowing from each other toys. The only thing you can do is to teach your kids that if they loan out their things to others and they lose them, it would very hard to recover the loss. If you kids say they are pressured to loan out the items, then you tell them that maybe they shouldn't take these things over there. The kids have to understand the consequences, no different than if they take these things to school and get stolen or destroyed, it'd be hard to prove who did what.

You can only hold adults responsible on deliberate destruction and malicious acts, not accidents.

Answer 6

Nope, you're not unreasonable. I would be highly upset if I bought my child something expensive and it either got stolen or they didn't take care of it....this is what I would suggest, not to buy anyting else expensive for awhile OR until they get older to where they can take care of their things, I have friends who've done that and it's worked so far =) Those kinds of things for kids are expensive, so in helping them understand, either of those two things might help them realize "oh crap, so much for that, we won't get things now" you know what I mean? I know we don't live in a perfect world, but you get the idea =)

Answer 7

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I have a 6 year old daughter and she is always begging to take things over to her father's place. He has a girlfriend with 3 kids of her own and her little girl likes to take my daughters things. My daughter used to bring her sleeping bag over every weekend. Well, my daughter wanted to keep it there. Now my daughter says the other little girl has it and won't give it back. Basically I won't let me daughter take anything over there that I wouldn't mind staying there. When she wants to bring things over that they don't have, I basically tell her that if she wants it over there she needs to ask her father to buy her one. After several toys were broken and nice clothes were ruined I learned my lesson. When my daughter mentions that it isn't fair I remind her of things that were broken and ruined and she thinks twice about bringing her stuff over there.

Answer 8

I think it's reasonable to not let them take those things. I have a step son. His mother won't even allow him to bring clothes. We have to have a wardrobe for him here or he would only have the outfit he came in for the weekend. To me that is being petty, but to keep electronics at home, to me makes sense. We have game systems for him here to play with on the weekends so he doesn't need to bring those. Whatever we buy for our kids at our house, we buy for him to have here too.
Unless their father will take the responsibility for them if/when they are lost and replace them, then there's no way I would let them take them.

Answer 9

If its just the big expensive toys, then I wouldn't let them take them either. If they get mad at you, tell them if they take them and they come up missing that you don't want to hear about it, that they will have to save up money to buy a new one. Talk with your ex and tell him the situation, if they have to have it over there, let him go out and buy them one for his house. Your not being unreasonable, your being a parent!!

Answer 10

I would have your kids do chores and pay then for the chores. Have them buy their own expensive gadgets and if they get lost or stolen then that is on them. It seems they learn to take care of their stuff better when they pay for it