I was in an abusive relationship for a few years. I really loved and in some ways still love this guy but he's a drug addict and hit me and verbally abused me. I was very unhappy and trying to think of ways to leave anyway when I found out I was pregnant. That gave me the strength and resolve to leave him because I knew that he wouldn't stop just because I was pregnant and I knew he would keep hurting me and the baby. Now I'm close to 7 months pregnant and doing fine. I have a restraining order against him and though he's allowed to call once a week to check on his child he has only done so once. I don't want him around this baby, he is not a good person, but I am worried that he will try to get visitation rights and then take the baby away or even hurt it or worse just to get his 'revenge' against me for leaving him. What should I do?
2007-05-21 07:16:31 · 16 answers · asked by angelaki3 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I didn't marry him, thank goodness although we were engaged. He has a history of violence against women, he had had other women file ex parte's against him although I'm the only one who actually showed up in court and got the order enforced into a restraining order.
2007-05-21 07:44:53 · update #1
First of all, I am so proud of you for leaving. Are you married to this man? I know that it was hard. When you go and have the baby you do not have to put his name on the birth certificate, if wants to see the child he will have to do a paternity test. You will probably have to go to court, and if is really serious he will have to pay court fees, this will sometimes be the way to see if he is really serious about being the father of your child. I would also, not ask for anything from him. IE Child Support. I have been through all this with my ex-husband. I would love to chat with you more about this.
2007-05-21 07:27:11 · answer #1 · answered by h0rseluvr4life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It maybe a difficult battle unless he has been arrested and convicted of assault and batter domestic violence against you. If there is a documented case which shows this pattern it may not be to difficult to keep him away with a restraining order until he takes some anger management classes or domestic violence treatment classes. If there is no history of this documented by the courts or police, he has rights and the courts can grant him those rights of visitation and order him to pay child support. Now if you can get him to sign off on his parental rights then you can take the child and get as far away from him as you can, but he would have to agree to give them up and then have a judge agree with him doing that. You can still move and get away from him but he could challenge you in court to still get visitation regardless of what state you are in. But the further away you are from him the better. Good luck!
2007-05-21 07:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by Satan Lives! God must Die 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will never get custody as long as you have legal proof, such as a restraining order that he is a danger to you and possibly your child... even without that it is very hard for a father to get full custody of a child as judges mostly want the child with her mother and side with her. If you are a stable person then he has no chance of taking your child away. He may have right to visitation but you can fight to have it supervised or to have him bring the baby back the same day. Also, he may be reluctant to go for any visitation because the judge will force him to pay child support, and if he has no job, they will order him to get one, let him know that and maybe he'll back off. Remember he can threaten to knigdon come he will take you to court but it's likely he won't cause he knows he's a drug addict.
2007-05-21 07:26:52 · answer #3 · answered by Meliskell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing how you already have a restraining order against him, if you bring this case to court and immediately get primary custody of your child, I don't see a reason why they wouldnt let you. The father has an abusive history with you-to a judge that makes the father look bad. I would go talk to a few people at your local family court to see what you can do now. Maybe you can get primary custody now.
2007-05-21 07:27:32 · answer #4 · answered by Des 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With the standing restraining order, and his lack of interest in the past (not calling) if it came down to him getting any sort of visitation rights you would have to go to court, and You seem to have a strong case to keep him away from the baby.Try to petition for Supervised visitation only, that way he can never be alone with the baby and has no way to harm it in any way. Good luck through all of this, it's a hard situation and your handling it well so far. Good luck for the future!
2007-05-21 07:26:47 · answer #5 · answered by cait5156 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay the course. If he tries to do any of that, call an attorney. He is a drug addict, he abused you, and all that will come out if he tries. Provided your history is relatively clean, he doesn't have a chance of getting that child. Keep copies of the restraining order and any other paperwork that suggests what he did, and you should be fine. Good luck!
2007-05-21 07:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have taken the right first steps. Right now you focus on yourself and that baby and stay healthy.
Keep a record of every time that he calls in a little notebook or log of some type. Also in that log keep records of his moods or was he using on that day.
These things probably wont help in court but it will give your attorney something to go by. Since you have a restraining order he shouldn't be able to come around.
Remember that you are doing the right thing for your child, stay strong and don't go back I know first hand that they don't change. My ex stabbed me in front of my children before I finally got away and never looked back.
My prayers are with you.
2007-05-21 07:26:46 · answer #7 · answered by mzduncan1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she can. I actually didn't read the whole post because I don't like capital letters. But anyway, yes she can. You are a minor. Although she can do this, she is your mom and she's doing it for your sake. Why not sit her down and have a mother-daughter talk about how you want your babys dad in your life. If she loves you, she'll listen.
2016-05-18 23:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the restraining order is working for now, then there is little else you need to do. If you really feel that you and your child is in danger, you should talk to a social worker. They can give more information as to what you can do to protect yourself further. If he breaks the restraining order, call the police right away...not after.....RIGHT AWAY! Surround yourself by positive people who love you and protect you. And get someone you can talk to. It will help you to feel better and safer. Just remember, if you think you are in immediate danger, call the police!
2007-05-21 07:32:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Court order.
2007-05-21 07:39:27 · answer #10 · answered by Queen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋