Husbands Lack of Sex Drive Question?

Question

My husband and I have been only married about 6 months. However, ever since the wedding... (actually a few months before even), his sex drive dropped to almost nothing.

He was taking two medications that are known to cause a lack of sex drive... so 3 months ago we went to the doctor with the delima and got him on some new meds that don't have that side-effect.

My husband says it's getting better (he says he's getting erections durning the day at odd times, ie. driving for no reason).

I've tried to be supportive and not push the subject. However, my sex drive has not altered in one bit. I get so frusterated when I tell him I'm horny then blow him in the shower... cause he likes that... but then he never returns the favor. He hasn't touched anything below my breasts in over 6 weeks. (We went on a 6 week dry spell before I cracked and he finally gave me a 3 min quickie, whoppie!).

Anyways, are there any husbands out there that know they have this problem too? What can I do?

I love my husband, but continuing like this is unbearble! My self-esteem has dropped cause sometimes I wonder if he even finds me attractive anymore. I cry at night... pissed off that another weekend went by without sex. Sex is a language of love... I'm not going to leave him over it... but I want to find a solution.

Can anyone give me some pointers? I need something before I ask the doctor for some happy pills... it's getting that bad.

Thanks all.

Answer 1

Meds will do that, low sex drive. It will take time for the old meds to get out of his system. He may have low testosterone levels. Have him go to the doctor to get tested for that. There are some good meds that will help his levels increase thereby affected his need for sex. He maybe under a lot of stress and worrying about performing will also give him more stress and want less activity. Check on him at night, when he's asleep. He might have a surprise waiting for you and take charge. He may enjoyed being awaken by you, if you know what I mean. See when sleeping the body relaxes and stress my be much less which will have effects on the body, allowing rises and levels of certain hormones and such. Thus this will cause uuuhmmm, other rises. There are some natural stuff out there that will also help him and won't inter fear with him meds.

Orexis, stamtrex, etc.

The problem may also be his prostate. I know he's young, but have him get this checked out.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Some people have lower sex drives than others. Once or twice a week isnt so bad after a long time. You being newlywed, I do agree it's almost a rule that it happens more often. However, if you do it too often because you think that is the way it should be then it becomes a "chore." Make sure to talk to him without accusing him of not giving you anything. Maybe there is something that he feels afraid to talk to you about since he feels pressured. I believe it is almost cyclical, specially when you have been with someone for so long, even if you abstained from sex up until a little while ago. One thing I have learned over time is that the more you "offer" yourself, the less desirable you are. Try to do something like walking around naked.. if it's something you have never done... do it when he is in the room and almost totally ignore him. If he tries to make a move then or tries to touch you, you can say no, which usually makes men go wild because they want something they can't have... it works for me and my husband ;) just try to spice it up. I hope this helps! =)

Answer 3

Ask your husband to go get some viagra. Seriously. Sometimes just stress from every day life can cause this in a man. My husband went through this and he is only 29. The Viagra worked and kept me sane as well!

Answer 4

Talking about sex with your partner can be hard, but its the best way to get what you want out of your relationship, and to make compromises into what your partner wants. After all, ultimately it’s about pleasing you both. How can you talk about sex? Fortunately there have been people who've attempted the first awkward dialogs before you. One being author of "Pleasure," here's her advice on getting what you want: http://coaches.aol.com/love-and-sex/hilda-hutcherson/qa-video?defaultItem=5

Planned Sex is better than no sex, here's how to make time, and make it great every time:
http://coaches.aol.com/love-and-sex/hilda-hutcherson/qa-video?defaultItem=0

Here are some great, free, tasteful tips for keeping/improving intimate sexual relationships

-build up adrenaline and energy in other ways
-exercise together
-ride thrilling rollercoasters together
-watch scary movies together
-play hooky from work together
-engage in novel acts, both sexually and non-sexually, together

Keeping sex new and fresh:
http://coaches.aol.com/love-and-sex/ian-kerner/keep-sex-fresh

Answer 5

You may consider purchasing a book called "She Comes First" it is rather cheap at this link. http://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Thinking-Pleasuring/dp/0060538252

and request that he reads the book.
The side effects from many medications can carry over for up to 3 months.
You may want to considered:
Pleasing yourself in front of him.
He may not have a lot of knowledge on how to please a women.
He may need help in learning how to please you.
Try to get him to tell you his most hidden fantasy. Assure him you will not tell anyone, and tell him yours. This helps build trust and confidence in the relationship.
You may also consider trimming or shaving your ........
You also may find the following link helpful

Answer 6

If it get too out of hand then i think you should make love to them "happy pills". simple

Answer 7

I hate that for you...I don't know what to tell you because I am not a guy, but good luck to you..