My husband and I have participated in a FFM threesome, and it went very well!!! I had no jealousies (that really lasted) and I've considered doing it again. But now I want to have a MMF threesome. We are in a long distance relationship (military) right now, so we have to verbalize alot over the phone and computer. We've included a man, from where he is, in on our conversations, and it didn't fair well with my husband, but he's agreed to follow through with my wishes to have the MMF threesome. I really want to do it, I like the guy we've chosen, but I don't want to upset my husband. I think it would be only fair that he do this for me, since I did the FFM for him, but I don't want to ruin our marriage of 6 years. I really want to do the MMF threesome, so how do I handle this???
2007-05-21 06:55:47 · 23 answers · asked by duchess77 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not looking for anyone to tell me how sick I am, this is a serious question and our decision is still up in the air. We've both been very honest about our feelings and comminicative up to this point. I'm really looking for someone who's had some experience in this and how things worked out for them. To set it straight, my husband isn't intersted in any gay aspect of this. And this was more of his idea than mine. We just want to review all aspects of this so we can enjoy a much talked about fantasy, with boundaries, without falling apart in the mean time. If you don't agree with me, that's fine, this isn't something that alot of people are in to. If you have an honest answer, I'd like to hear it.
2007-05-21 07:24:14 · update #1
I think it is great that the two of you feel secure enough in your relationship to explore each other's fantasies. However, if he isn't up for the MMF yet then you may need to hold off. You need to ask him exactly what it is about the idea that bothers him and explain how you too felt jealous when it was the other way around. Maybe keep talking about it and helping him feel secure that it is a matter of experimentation, not because he is lacking. But I'd say wait until he knows for sure it's something he is completely comfortable with.
2007-05-21 08:51:14 · answer #1 · answered by mvngs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, if he isn't liking the way you are talking to another guy, then he really isn't going to like you having sex with him either. This will ruin your marriage. I know you think fair is fair, but this isn't the case for this.
Plus, if you do this, and if the other guy is also military, and things don't work out, like you get caught, then you can ruin the careers of both guys, since group sex is a no-no in the military.
I know people who had the MMF, and then the guy wanted FFM, which the girl didn't want to do, so since the husband gave her two guys, he though he should get two girls, but that want just ended up in divorce. mainly because the guy did the MMF thinking it would get him the FFM.
Whose idea was it for the FFM? If it was his, then I can see how you would think he owes you. Its too late now, but it should have been agreed upon that if you do the FFM, that he has to do the MMF. I think that would have eliminated the FFM.
2007-05-21 07:17:46 · answer #2 · answered by George P 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's always a bad idea to bring a third person into the bedroom, but consider this:
A FFM threesome for a guy is probably just considered great sex. Guys don't get emotionally attached as easily and they can just write it off as an experience.
When you consider bringing another man into the picture (though it would only be fair) you have to consider that your husband is probably fearful that you will have some sort of attachment to the other man after your threesome.
Do you want to do this just to even the score, or is it something you are interested in? Did you discuss a MMF prior to having the FFM. These are things to consider as well.
2007-05-21 07:07:31 · answer #3 · answered by STEVEN 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Keep talking it out. If your husband gets to know the male in question, it may help a bit.
But he's feeling insecure since he's away in the military right now. There's a lot of pressure on married couples, and soldiers make a morbid joke out of who is getting the breakup letter or divorce decree in that week's mail. It's heartbreaking.
If you can put your dream of a MMF aside until he returns home, I'm sure he will be a bit more comfortable with the idea (as an active participant, that will help loads).
2007-05-21 07:02:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're really looking for a practical way to do that without hurting your husband, try divorcing him and doing it with 2 other dudes. That's the only way.
Whose idea was the MFF? If yours, then don't force the issue of the MMF. Even if his, you may need to be understanding that he's just too uncomfortable to go through with it. Most guys can't stand the idea of the woman they love being with another man, and especially if they are there too! What you did for your hubby was generous, but obviously your personality is more able to take it than his. If he's that uncomfortable with it, don't go through with it. It ultimately comes down to what you want more...a happy marriage with your hubby, or being in the middle of a sandwich for one night.
2007-05-21 07:08:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Well, look Duchess, take it from someone who has done this. The thing to do is have the additional man be someone neither you nor your husband knows. Certainly it cannot be one of his friends. That will cause all kinds of jealousy and trouble and you don't want that. But if it is a stranger, or someone you both know who lives thousands of miles away and you don't normally see, it will work out much better and your husband wont get jealous. As I said, take it from someone who knows. That is the best way to do that.
2007-05-21 07:33:39 · answer #6 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
While this isn't my cup of tea...everyone is entitled to their own thing. I would suggest doing it if it's what you really want and ask him what makes him most uncomfortable about it? Then set boundries based on his comfort level. Limit his intereaction with the other guy or whatever. And Good Luck.
2007-05-21 07:02:46 · answer #7 · answered by ~Charity~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend wants to have a FFM threesome and I'm game, but I really don't think he'd go for a MMF threesome--go figure! If you really want to go for it, then fair is fair!
2007-05-21 07:03:35 · answer #8 · answered by legalchick791 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I just want to comment and not answer because I feel differently about this. We shouldn't judge what is right or wrong for an individuals relationship. We have our opinion on this matters and if your against this then move on and don't answer. Her question is for those open to the idea. In many circles, while risky, this is a way for consenting adults to experience more as a couple.
2007-05-21 07:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by GARY M 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
The male ego is a fragile thing.
First off don't let your husband feel that you care anything for the other guy at all. He is just a body period.
Second, boost his ego. Refer to the other man as his little helper. Keep is clear that your husband is Alpha Dog. This will keep him happy.
2007-05-21 07:31:02 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋