I'm getting married in a few months. I sometimes feel really depressed liking I'm making a poor choice. I feel frustrated a lot because I don't often get much acknowledgement. I am never told I look nice, and I'm even jealous of the cat because she gets petted. He's a nice guy, and very nice... what to do?
2007-05-21 05:46:41 · 21 answers · asked by mariemotz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this is something you might want to address before you get married. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce and if you don't talk to him you will feel more isolated and probably end up divorced.
2007-05-21 05:49:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel as though you would be setteling for less then what would truely make you happy, then don't proceed.
Marriage is the same relationship you currently have - made more intense because you had a ceremony to confirm before God & others your love for one another already.
Do not for one second think that by settling your establishing your security for a stable future. You are setting yourself up for failure this way.
Try giving your relationship some time to work out why your feeling the way you are and talk to your fiancee to see if he even realizes that he's causing you to feel this way.
Oftentimes premarriage counseling is avaialable through your religous foundation. If you do not have a religous foundation - no matter your faith - that could very well be the first reason for things not being as "heavenly" as you would have hoped for.
2007-05-21 06:01:58 · answer #2 · answered by martiek7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, especiall when things are not going well as they havent even before we said I do. And I too think I am making poor choices and I have ie; getting married when there was doubt. If I could be where you are I would take time to work on the unresoved issues I have within myself and take time to take care of me in doing so before I said I do and added more delema to my issues. It is okay. We are humans. Marriage is just another expectation when you are that state of mind. Good luck. Dont rush.
We are in the middle of a divorce now. SO take it slow or this could happen to you.
2007-05-21 05:51:34 · answer #3 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you shouldn't be getting married. If he isn't the way you want your husband to be, you should find someone new. The vast majority of women make the mistake of thinking they can either change their man after marriage or that he will change over time. He is the way he is and isn't going to change. If anything, he will get worse. If this isn't acceptable to you, don't marry him. You will be very unhappy with him as your husband.
If you feel this frustrated and unappreciated now, it will only get much worse after you say "I do".
Why are you getting married to this guy?
2007-05-21 05:55:21 · answer #4 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think twice before you walk down the aisle then. It sounds to me like you have some personal issues you need to work out with yourself before you committ yourself and your emotions to someone else. You need to sit down with your fiancee and discuss with him how you feel, and what you are looking for in a relationship. Remember, everyone expresses their thoughts and feelings differently. Obviously he loves you enough to have asked you to marry him, so maybe you need to try a little harder for yourself. Get a little "frisky" with him! Tell him he looks great! We all have things that we'd like to have said to us, sure, but sometimes people need a little "nudge" to do that for us. If he's the nice guy you say he is, I'm sure he'll understand your feelings, and I'll bet he'll be surprised to hear what you have to say. If you act sour and disappointed in him, you're going to push him away. So talk to him and decide what you want BEFORE the wedding, because you'll regret it later when you resent him for not being what you want him to be. Don't sweat the small stuff like that either, the best therapy in any relationship is Communication. Best of luck to you.
2007-05-21 05:55:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him. It's not good that you're jealous of the cat (believe it or not, I've been there). Being a nice guy is good and all, but it takes more than a nice guy to make a good marriage. You deserve more love, affection and attention. He needs to be able to give it to you, and if he can't the wedding may not be such a good idea.
2007-05-21 05:51:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to be sure of yourself before being able to get into a relationship. If you are having doubts, maybe it's not the right thing to do. Look into your heart and see if this is something you are not going to regret in the long run. Trust your first instinks. Good luck.
2007-05-21 06:03:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you walk down the aisle, you have to talk to your fiance about all of your quams no matter how silly they sound. You don't want to make a mistake that is going to cost you not just money but a lot of pain.
2007-05-21 05:50:20 · answer #8 · answered by ***ME*** 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you can be happy with what he has to offer you now...WITHOUT EXPECTING HIM TO CHANGE
If you can be happy then go for it. If you can't... then wait to make sure or look for someone else.
I would hate to read a question from you in a year because you are in an unhappy marriage and don't know what to do.
2007-05-21 05:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by Karla T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you getting married again?
Ask yourself that question. Especially if you're getting jealous of the cat!!
2007-05-21 05:49:29 · answer #10 · answered by jd 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋