I read with shock the answers to the question below. My oldest uncle tried that. He brought the other woman, now wife, to a family event. Everyone ignored her. They still ignore her. No one else in the family has done that ( at least no one knows about it.) It is disresepctful to not only the former spouse but the kids and family. Why do people do that crap?
----Why did you ACCEPT THE OW or OM so easily?
This question is to in-laws, neighbors, friends, relatives, co-workers.
This isn't a challenge. I just want to know. Did you think that this may happen to you? How would you feel if your spouse had an affair and then left you for that person and everyone around you, while saying that they like and love you and are supposedly your friends, open up and simply substitute you with the new person?
I am over him. I couldn't have such a liar back in my life. I am just very disappointed. Maybe that is why people are voting for Rudy Guilliani. That is just how it is.-------
2007-05-21 05:33:23 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No one in my family has done that and it would be highly unusual if they did.
2007-05-21 05:56:11 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not the replacement, it is the addition. Not to think of it as stabbing in the back. It is being a grown and non judgemental adult in a situation that has happened in which others have no input on. If these people are your "friends" as such, then you will not be replaced. Why should you condemn the other woman, when it takes two to tango?? And in all honesty, what faults were in the marriage that you BOTH should have worked on and didn't, that allowed him to chose someone else over his wife?? Love one another...forsaking all others....what broke down that NEITHER of you repaired that resulted in him finding the companion that is now his wife or significant other. Do not judge her solely on the actions of your husband, AND do not criticize the friends and family you still have retained during this awkward time for being adult enough to judge a person on their own merits and not the situation that happened. I am not saying that it was ok for him to cheat on you, what I am saying is that there was obviously something that didn't get addressed, communicated or what ever that caused him to think that the best option----was opting out!!!
2007-05-21 06:28:46 · answer #2 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not disrespectful when people divorce for whatever reason and remarry, even if the new person is in their lives may be a reasoning factor. That is their business. To say people are immoral for not shunning a new family member is unrealistic and classless. And I personally would not stand for it.
That has happened in our family before, and although you really do hate to see people split up, sometimes that is for the best. I lean more towards trusting what was best for the family. And if the person is a better person with the new mate, then I can be happy for them. As well as still be polite to the ex. I can be nice to people under any circumstance.
Someday you will have children, so you better learn not every marriage is sent from heaven. That anger usually comes back to bite you in the a.s.s. Honestly, if you are like this all the time, it could be why they liked her better. Isn't this what your really saying anyway???
2007-05-21 06:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it happened to me. After a 14 year marriage (17 years together). The Family claims to have morals, be christians, etc., but my ex- had moved in with my former best friend that she was having an affair with (with my 5 year old daughter) before we were divorced. They all claim they didn't agree with what she did, but she is family and we have to support her in her decisions is what they said.
Bunch of bull!
2007-05-21 05:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In our culture of christianity I believe it says to "judge not" and things such as that. Until you walk a mile in a person's shoes don't even think about casting judgment. I am as close to perfect as it is possible to get and still be human, and I make it a point not to judge others. Pay attention to your own life and let others lead theirs. Everybody should quit trying to please the world.
2007-05-21 05:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We decide to love and care for the new person because we dio not have a choice. We love the ex and want to keep them in our lives. We don't have to agree with the situation but we do have to accept it because we cannot control other people only ourselves.
2007-05-21 05:41:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Interesting topic but have no idea what you are talking about need ref
2007-05-21 05:41:54 · answer #7 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People have confused being "judgmental" which they think is beneath them, with being discerning and staying true to their morals.
2007-05-21 05:37:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋