Do you support a man's right to choose?

Question

When a woman gets pregnant she has the right to decide whether or not to carry the baby to term, and whether to raise the child herself or to give it up for adoption. In many states she can even terminate all parental responsibility by returning the baby to the hospital within a few weeks of birth. Yet if she decides she wants the child, she can demand 18 years of child support from the father, and he has no choice in the matter. When it comes to reproduction, in America today women have rights and men merely have responsibilities.

Advocates of choice for men like to cite a passage from a Planned Parenthood statement, “9 Reasons Why Abortions Are Legal”: “At the most basic level, the abortion issue is not really about abortion. … Should women make their own decisions about family, career and how to live their lives? Or should government do that for them? Do women have the option of deciding when or whether to have children?”

Substitute “men” for “women,” and it’s hard to deny that coerced fatherhood drastically curtails a man’s ability to make key decisions about how to live his life, including when or whether to have children with the woman he loves. Think of “A Dad Too Soon,” the young husband saddled with college loans, graduate school tuition, car payments and other expenses, and forced to give up a quarter of his earnings because he made a mistake as a teenager.

(His admittedly one-sided narrative also suggests that the mother’s paternity suit was partly driven by vindictiveness: Having waited for eight years, she filed the claim days after his wedding.) Yet, in the eyes of Ann Landers and many others, he deserves only a stern rebuke. Pay up and shut up. You play, you pay. It takes two to tango. Indeed, on the issue of choice for men, staunch supporters of abortion rights can sound like an eerie echo of the other side: “They have a choice — use condoms, get sterilized or keep their pants on.” “They should think about the consequences before they have sex.”

Melissa: You didn't answer the question. Do you agree that all "rights" currently extended to women should be extended to men? That means if you think that abortion is murder should men still be able to choose fatherhood in the same way women choose motherhood by opting not to put their child up for adoption?

To those claiming that a man "makes a choice" by choosing to use a condom or not do you agree with outlawing adoption and abortion. These are "rights" available to women and not to men. Also this answer doesn't address the problem in case of contraception failure.

And if you do support discriminatory laws based on sex; would you also support discriminatory laws based on race? Laws requiring segragation for instance?

Answer 1

Wrap it with a condom! You have the choice in that fact and most chose to not use them.

No one would tell me to give up my child, whether he wanted it or not.

Answer 2

this might hit a nerve with other women but i feel that us women have no right to make those decisions on our own. If keeping a baby means 18yrs of the father paying for it then it should be the fathers choice also or an opt out clause early on in pregnancy where the mother to be can sign a contract to say she has herself chosen to keep the child knowing the father does not want the responsibility, i hate to say it but it is usually women that trick these blokes into it and the poor men end up paying for it.
I know when i had my daughter i sat and talked with her father about what we wanted to do and we choose together to keep her and financially support her together.
I think women who have babies without dad's consent should have no calling on seeking maintenance from the father,,,,, its discusting that us women get all the choices, we can even stop dad from seeing the child yet most still expect these men to bring up our children!!!!!

Answer 3

I guess I stand differently than some but I believe it does take two to make a baby and I think it is a decision for both to make. You can tell the man that he should have used protection but what about women!! It is an equal responsibility if you ask me. Why is it only an equal one if a women decides to keep the baby? It should be equal from the time of conception. When I become pregnant in my mind it is not only my baby but the father's as well.....

I agree with you Dawn..

Answer 4

Young men are not,I feel, adequately educated about the consequences to them of an unplanned child. Daytime talk shows have men on them bragging about having 5 different children by 5 different mothers and it looks as tho they never have a problem. The reality is that the father can be made to pay very large sums of money and can be arrested if he fails to do so. It is not a game or a joke, the court systems are very serious about this these days and only look out , rightly so, for the welfare of the child. Men need to know the facts so they can make informed decisions about birth control before they literally lose all control of their whole lives.

Answer 5

I think anyone who decides they are mature enough to have sex, should then be mature enough to either raise the baby, or find a loving couple who will.

*If at least one parents wants the child, then the child should not and can not be put up for adoption. The other parents should have to pay support, even if they wanted the child put up for adoption, becasue they chose to have sex. My friend got pregnant at 18, and found a loving couple to adopt her son. When she delivered the baby the couple came and visited the baby. The father would not consent to the adoption and she ended up keeping the baby. It was either that or let the father, who was a real jerk and a drug addict, bring the baby home. That was him asserting his rights, so men have rights too.

Answer 6

I won't argue. But the bottom line is that resistance is futile. Whether agreed or not, the mother of the child does in fact make the "final" decision. This is simply the way it is.
Logically (and biologically) speaking, until men can become pregnant, carry and give birth, this is the way it will be. Period.
I understand there are women who completely abuse their position in these situations, and it is most unfortunate. What do you propose men do, other than all they can to protect themselves? There will never be, at least in my lifetime, any law that gives men the same rights as women re: reproduction. Acceptance is key here. Deal with it!

Answer 7

This has been an argument I have has for a long time. A right to choose what to do with YOUR body is one thing, but to destroy another being or person (although not fully developed) goes on a whole other level. That is why a person who kills a pregnant woman's baby, can be charged with murder. WHY THEN IS IT OK for the mother to "murder" it? In one case it's seen as human, and in another for, "comfort reasons" it's seen as a "clump of cells." Lets keep it real, that clump of calls is a product of 2 people's DNA, that combined created a 3rd PERSON, and won't BE ANYTHING BUT a PERSON, if LEFT ALONE, and THAT person, has as much a RIGHT TO LIFE as YOU or I.
I believe it's a blatant imbalance, unjust and that a MAN should most definitely have just as much say is his UNBORN child. Just because it's undeveloped doesn't make it any less human.
I believe FIRMLY in the RIGHT TO CHOOSE one of the MANY reliable birth control methods that are readily available BEFORE HAND, so murder isn't necessary.
If a woman knows her body can get pregnant, ultimately SHE should prevent that from happening PRIOR to it happening. No one else will! That is truly doing WHAT SHE WANTS WITH HER OWN BODY, and is limited to HER OWN body.,
Any man that knows his baby was sucked out of a womb, torn to pieces and discarded into a trash can, has to deal with a type of emotional pain, that is never taken into account. Any medical terminology or willful BLINDERS we put on to cover up the REALITY of what an abortion REALLY is, is plain ignorance, particularly coming from people who have already given birth, It sickens me.

There's my rant...my 2 cents

Answer 8

I understand what your saying, however women are the ones that carry the baby and have all the emotions going haywire. If men carried the babies, then it would be a totally different ball game. I hate to be the one to say this, but it's much harder for women. Men can choose not to pay child support, but a woman doesn't necassarily choose to have the baby or not. It's ingrained in them. One moment it's just you, then the next you have something growing inside of you that you are bonded with. If a woman chooses to have the baby, then that is life altering. Don't worry about your paycheck being garnished. If that's all your worried about, then be thankful. The mother has a whole lot more to worry about.

Answer 9

Abortion is wrong. think about it, your kid has to die because you screwed up. Why should he loose his life cuz your were dumb and dont know how to say no, or use a condom. I say adoption if the parents are mature enough, Dont kill it.. guess what you have sex unprotected, guess what you have consiquences, a baby, diesease both.. or more.. but that's how you grow up and learn from your mistake not kill it and feel like oh i was young blah blah get over it! your screwed up now deal with it! Yeah a man has a right.. you had your right when you did it, and when you decided not to use a condom. that was your choice.. now that you blew it, then you also have the resposabilitys.. but then again men shouldnt look at a child and say oh damn child support.. Is that what a kid is to people now? a tax cut.. a lil more money every month... and if that is the case then society is gettind dumber dumber by large! So men i say get over yourselves! you had your choice.. Dont make the children pay for your screw ups!

Answer 10

Both the man and the woman were mature enough to MAKE the baby - they both should agree as to what happens after that. I think a woman should 100% consider the man's opinions and desires on the matter, but ultimately, it is the woman's choice.
We are the ones who have the baby and take care of it.

Answer 11

I agree with you, but that's the same reason why as a woman, we love this country. In another country, like Taiwan, if a woman ever gets a divorce, the baby and all properties belongs to Daddy, mom has to ask to see her baby.
But if you think about it, a country is stronger by providing protection for the mothers, just look at those countries in middle east muslim, some men will abuse their power and rights big time- something like rape, it's a woman's fault, because she seemed alluring to a man.