how did your marriage life changed after having children?

Question

what happend to your marriage life and the relationship between you and your spouse after having the first child?

and what advice would you give to those new married and want to have children?

Answer 1

Don't rush unless father time is involved. Going from married with no children to having children is just a big of a life change as going from being single to being married. The biggest challenge is making time for you and your spouse to have alone time by going on dates. Your efforts to making the other feel special need to increase tenfold. In most cases the husband needs to step up and do more of the little things around the house, share the work load (which we should be doing regardless).

Answer 2

I dated my husband 4 years before we got marrried, then we were married for another 4 years when we deceided to have a baby. I got pregnant as soon as we tried. 4 months after she was born, I still had not lost the weight and he started to hang around my best friend. He made out with her, he said he did it cause I wasn't giving him any. Well, then I would stay at home and care for the baby while he stayed out until 3 or 4 in the morning. Whereas before the baby he was always with me or we went out together.

1 year after the baby was born, I left him. He is a good father, now, because he only has to have her everyother weekend.

It seems like as soon as a responsbility came into the relationship, it fell apart. My advise, is to acept the fact, things will change. Talk about the changes that are going to take place. Understand you will no longer have 1 on 1 time with your man. This can put stress on a relationship when that person is no longer #1. The baby is #1 and jealously arrises, sometimes resentment.

Out of all my friends that were married then had kids, wound up divorcing. Its so sad. Then the ones that had kids then got married are still together. How weird and backwards. Im not saying this will happen to you. Cause I hope it won't just be prepared, and talk it out.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

just take your time enjoying eachother and talk about what you each will contribute to the parenting and household.make sure you find time to communicate because once children come along you will find you won't have as much time together as once before and think your relationship is falling down when really life is just getting busier.Rember when children come alone it will be the small things that matter most, such as a quick hug or kiss or watching tv together cuddling on the couch.The relationship will slow down but life will be faster.
but make adate night to keep sparks there,Be there for eachother.

Answer 4

at first we lost sight of each other. are whole existent was our daughter we didn't know how to go on a date w/out always talking about our kids. lucky for us the love was and is strong and friends and fmly kept ed telling us that we had to go out on a real date and not talk about the kids the whole evening and re-kindle the romance. my advice to new parents would be don't forget about each other as a couple-take time to be a couple even if it's only for an hour or so after the kids go to sleep-take the time to talk,to snuggle or have sex whatever you two feel like doing. it's worth the precious time you two will have w/each other.

Answer 5

Oh, wow...we have 4. It's easy when they are little to be intimate, but, then when they are older locking the door means, "Ewww..mom and dad must be...." So, sex takes a back seat. Kids are great...expensive!...but great. You have to remember to make a date with your spouse OFTEN after kids. Movie and dinner,etc. Save up for a bed and breakfast on your anniversary. We have been married for 14 yrs. It's also important to do family activities. That strengthens the family as a whole. :)

Answer 6

Changed alot. Freedom...zero. Your kids become the focal point of your life, thoughts and stress/worries etc. Hubby gets jealous of the attention you give your kids (although they are his kids too).

You try your best to be organized and have time for yourself which is almost impossible especially when you have a newborn or toddler totally dependent on you.

Best is to spend alot of quality time with your partner and talk openly about having kids and your goals and ambitions and how kids fit in. When you both are ready to have kids, do so.

But being a parent is not to be taken lightly and patience and unconditional love and understanding are needed to raise them without losing your mind...sense of humor and positivity are necessities.

After seeing to kids then trying to make hubby happy, meant less sleep and drop dead exhaustion. It does get a little easier as they grow older and are more independent.

Answer 7

Big change, after my first child was born everything changed. We could not go out partying together because someone had to stay home with the baby. So we took turns, she would go out and I would stay home with the baby, then next weekend it was my turn to go out and she would stay home with the baby. We didn't want to leave the baby with anyone so we did this for the first year. After that we would leave the baby with family and go out together. As for our sex life, it was crazy for a while, because we would do it when we could, because now our world revolves around the baby's schedule. But yes it is worth it and i would do it again..

Answer 8

We still have a good marriage, just a little less sex. My only advice is, make time for just the 2 of you. Find a babysitter and go out alone at least once a month.

Answer 9

my husband and I were very stressed out because our child stayed in the hospital 2months after he was born but there was stress before that because he already had kids from his ex girlfriend. you know how thats goes. but anyway after u have kids....the womans sex drive drops, u dont have as much time or energy for sex or couple time. But children are a joy. just be sure to have finacial state in good shape and make sure your schedules can work around a baby.

Answer 10

After the first child things are still pretty great. When you start having more things get more complicated. For instance you cant really spend alone time at all because you gave that up when you decided to have more. I say wait til youre 33.