How do you decide whether to be a mistress. The man I have been with for six years married the mother of his child on Saturday. He wants me to be around still and promises all sorts of things. How do I decide whether to stay or walk away from the situation knowing that I will never be his wife and that he has a family? As a mistress I get all the perks, no cleaning up after him, all the fun and fantastic sex. The downside is we can't hang out with his friends like we used to since they know he is now married. I am not really religious although I was brought up in a catholic home and can't help thinking I will be judged at the pearly gates. The new wife knows about me and my relationship with him but thinks it is long over. If she only knew he called me twice this week while he was away at his wedding and was here the night before he left on his trip. I owe nothing to her and feel no guilt towards her. She just happen to be lucky enough to get pregnant.
2007-05-21 03:17:27 · 24 answers · asked by Alison S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me get this straight.........YOU allowed a man to string you along for 6 years, then he got married, but still wants you on the side?
YOU are being used by this person.
Do yourself a favor and stay the hell away from him. It's blatantly apparent you have low self esteem or else you wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place.
2007-05-21 03:23:05 · answer #1 · answered by Ella 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Let it go.
You don't want to be 2nd in a relationship and yes, you will be judged at the pearly gates. I was raised Catholic as well and eternity is way more important.
Why be a mistress when you can find a man who will put you 1st and that you can have a future with? Someone who you will marry, have children with and there is no other woman involved.
In this day and age he could have married you and taken care of his child. He did not have to marry her so he really did make his choice. Also it is mean to do to the new wife. Let her have a chance at a good marriage.
What goes around comes around.
Move on and find better!!!
2007-05-21 03:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by Ann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should think about getting some serious counseling for low self esteem. My 1st husband hit me and I had the police come and drag him out and got a restraining order against him, then a divorce. My second husband cheated on me and just when I thought he might be cheating I left him. I found out the weekend after I moved out that he was for sure.Girl you need to have a better opinion of your self. Men are like bars there's a new one on every corner. Get your own man. If this one wants to still cheat on his wife he is a no good pig and you deserve so much better. But if you go along with it you are no better then him. When his wife finds out ( and she will) you wont be just hurting her, what about the kids?? do you want to tear their whole stable world apart??
2007-05-21 03:32:31 · answer #3 · answered by broker1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Don't be concerned with owing her or him anything. Think of yourself and what you will have 10 years down the road. Don't you think he will eventually get tired of you and find someone younger? You might be getting some of the "benefits" you listed but that's a very small percentage of what his wife is getting. Don't you think they are having fantastic sex also? He didn't marry her just for the child. He is getting all the benefits from both of you and shelling out very little in return. RUN! RUN! RUN!
2007-05-21 03:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by whalenfree 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
look you have to make the choice are you willing to be #2. are you able to accept he fact that your always going to be #2. I don't know you but I want to know why you have such low self esteem to even consider being #2. I would say if you want to do it for fun then do it, but if you want to do it as a relationship, back off. nobody deserves to be that low on themself. I don't care how nice or goodlooking he is you and every girl out there deserves better. I not a real honest fella, hell I believe if your going to cheat just don't get caught. But I always believe that a person shouldn't settle. and your settling be bettre than that.
2007-05-21 03:37:31 · answer #5 · answered by BigDaddyJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And what are you going to do when he trades you in for a newer version? If he married her instead of you, it's pretty obvious that he could care less about either of you. How long do you really think he'll keep you around?
Honey, you might as well get out now and find a man who loves you enough to WANT to marry you. This one is no good, and neither are you as long as you go along with it.
2007-05-21 03:23:09 · answer #6 · answered by Trisha 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
That's not the kind of relationship you want. If he really cared for you, he wouldn't have gotten married. Many people have babies and don't get married. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Don't be a home-wreaker. If it's meant to be, it will be. In the meantime, move on and have fun with others.
2007-05-21 03:21:29 · answer #7 · answered by Mom of 4 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
wow, you need to get away from him - if he really wanted you he'd not have married her, he's treating you like a whore and that is exactly how your acting. of course he promises you all sorts of things because he wants an on call piece of @ss. is he going to be that appealing when she finds out and kicks him out to be with you but then he's got to give half of his $$ on the child and doesn't have that much to spend on you
2007-05-21 03:24:42 · answer #8 · answered by Kristal E 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get the heck away from him. If he loves you why did he marry her? And since he's now married you don't want to be "THE OTHER WOMAN" do you? Just dump the sorry SOB and find a real man of your own.
2007-05-21 03:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
lucky enough to get pregnet, are you kidding, by a dog like that, he"ll never be around to raise a kid,your worth more then that, you deserve your own man, not some recycled to timen lyin,cheatin bum, he uses you,hes wife, hes kid,an if you get him you get what she has, a bum, with child support to pay, a cheater, who could give you a disease,a lier who will break your heart, youd live on if he was dead, an he should be in your heart,go find a good guy an be happy,you know this isnt right,what you get isnt real its not yours to have, its him using you,its wrong thats why its exciting,you dam sure wouldnt want it done to you,what goes around comes around, been their done that
2007-05-21 03:30:04 · answer #10 · answered by travelin man 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋