I got married to an idiot in August of 2005. By January of 2006, I had already filed for divorce. I met my curen boyfirend last OCtober and he has moved in. We now have a small farm that we work together and he is wonderful is so many ways (I won't go on and on). I get the feeling that he really wants to get married (he has hinted at it) and I love him and want to spend the reast of my life with him as well. What I'm worried about is if we actually decide to get married, how will people ( on my side feel) they just came to one of my wedings not that long ago. If you think it's okay to go ahead and marry him, how can I let him know it's okay with me without sounding pushy?
2007-05-21 02:21:10 · 25 answers · asked by babyoutlaw 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's up to people to come to your wedding or not. That is their decision and how they feel about it is up to them!
BUT, you could also think about whether you really want to have a big wedding again so soon.
Would it be possible to have a smaller, more private ceremony with just people who are important to you both, and sometime down the track have an 'open house' to which you can invite more people and celebrate your new home and the love you have created in it?
As for letting him know you're ready to marry again, it's probably best to just be open about it. That way you'll also find out if he would like to marry, or if he would prefer things remain as they are.
Good luck :-)
2007-05-21 02:35:02 · answer #1 · answered by Bluewaterwoman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made a mistake and don't want to repeat it. You live with this guy. Why do you have people "on your side"? Are there two sides? Or do you mean your family? If you both want to marry
then fine but out of respect for your families forget a white wedding and just get married simply with yourselves and a best man and one or two others. You can't go the whole hog again. All you have to do is say it is ok. But you have to wait for him to ask. You crave security but at the same time don;t want to fall into making the same mistake twice. Wait until October this year that will have given you a full year to see how things go. If you married in haste and wanted a divorce after 5 months does this mean you aren;t real good at reading people? Just slow down gal and you will probably be ok. You seem in a tad too much of a hurry. If it is real love it will grow. Don;t worry so much and take it s l o w.
2007-05-21 02:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by pwwatson8888 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want another young divorce, slow down! You just met this guy in October, and you're already living together. I imagine you wanted to spend the rest of your life with the last guy too. As far as what your friends and family will think - don't have a big wedding, expecting more gifts (unless you gave all the gifts from the last wedding back). Just have a small ceremony with immediate family.
2007-05-21 03:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you made a mistake...we all do at one time or another. If you want to get married again then get married. If you are worried about what people think then just have a simple wedding..and invile just close family and friends. Tell them that gifts are optional. Maybe you could have the wedding at your farm or just go get married and have a get together at the farm to celebrate your marriage.
2007-05-21 04:00:57 · answer #4 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You divorced young, but it was only a little over a year ago--so you're still young...do you have to get married right now? If you had dated your first husband longer, you should have known he was an "idiot" and not been in this position. Also, you chose and accepted him as your husband, so maybe you should look at your own self instead of calling him a name. I'm sure when you were involved with the first guy that you found something you loved in him...
2007-05-21 03:10:52 · answer #5 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, just talk to him and state out your concerns and wants. It's not being too pushy if you bring up the subject seriously and he wants to discuss it with you. If you're worried about what your family and friends think, then you should re-evaluate things. What matters is how you and your boyfriend feel about each other, not what others will think. If getting married is truly what you both want, then I suggest maybe going off somewhere and marrying where it's just the two of you or having a very simple and informal wedding with just your immediate families.
2007-05-21 02:27:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it more time. If he's living with you now you are experiencing what marriage will be like with him. Getting married and divorce isn't a lottery it's not something that should be done and then undone if things just don't go our way. It's meant to be sacred. So If you want to get married again show this Korean man that you want it to be sacred and holy by getting to know him more. Spend more time with him and don't let love get you blind. Just because his habits don't bother you now it doesn't meant they won't bother you in the future.
You have the rest of your life to be married. Take it slow and make the choice to wait, get to know him better, and stay together.
Good luck!
2007-05-21 02:28:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You divorce was filed in January 2006, is it even final for purposes of remarriage yet?
Also taking some time to make sure you aren't making the same mistakes is important. You claim you married an idiot, and maybe you did, but clearly you made mistakes, whether it be in judgement for getting married in the first place, or actual contribution to a bad relationship. identifying those mistakes and learning from them are absolutely essential if you want to have a successful remarriage. If you genuinely don't believe you made any mistakes, I would strongly caution you to wait before getting married again.
2007-05-21 02:27:39 · answer #8 · answered by btpage0630 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think I know why your first marriage failed....
You need to be in a relationship for more than 6 months before you marry this guy....or ANY OTHER guy for that matter....
Take the time to get to know him better, to get to know each other better. I'm surprised you are so ready to just hope right in to another marriage after just getting divorced. Most people, I'd think, would be more cautious after a divorce. Why did your marriage fall apart so quickly? Don't you want to make sure that this doesn't happen again?
If you are in love with this guy, and you two are happy together.....that's really all you need right now, what's the rush?
And I find it odd that you are looking for a way to tell your boyfriend that the TWO of you are ready for marriage?!?!? I don't know many guys who are ready to marry a chick after just 6 months. Just slow down..
2007-05-21 02:56:54 · answer #9 · answered by jezyka 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him..If you cannot communicate easily with him then you definately are not ready to step into another marriage just yet..Communiaction and being able to communicate is the first stepping stone to marriage.Also why are you in such a rush to get married if the two of you belong together then it will happen you will have the rest of your lives together what is the big rush..take your time get to really know eachother if you truly love eachother then neither one of you is going anywhere..You sound very young I suggest that you wait to get married again you don't want to end in another divorce do you..
2007-05-21 02:30:40 · answer #10 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋