My fiance and I are planning on getting married this summer, 7-7-07 and we both have children from past marriages. My two children are thrilled that I'm getting married again and they love my fiance like their own father. My fiance's son however has had a change of heart. We got along very well and were very close, he wanted his father and I to get married, but now says he doesn't approve and that he wants his dad to leave me and go back to his mother (who is happily married again). I've done nothing but treat this little boy so well and be here for him and he once loved and respected me, but now it's gone!!
Can anyone give me some insight as to why he'd change his mind when nothing in our new family situation has changed???
2007-05-21 00:57:23 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh, forgot to mention that he's 11
2007-05-21 02:01:27 · update #1
He probably tried to break up his moms new marriage too. All kids want mom and dad to be together forever. I would talk to your fiance and have him talk to his son, Make sure he does things with his son still so that he doesnt feel like you are replacing him in his daddys life that happens all to often also. Tell him when he is ready to talk to you abotu why he feels this way about yuo now that you will be willing to listen. Do not be judgemental and listen to his worrys and concerns. Tell him even though he feels this way you still love him and wont feel any different becuase of his feelings. Make sure you tell him that it has really hurt your feelings that he feels this way but you are respecting his and want to work it out.
2007-05-21 01:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by superthunda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think children have a basic instinct for security. Part of this instinct arises from the comfort of their parents. Almost like a genetic arising. Something in the situation has upset this balance. I would examine why your future stepson has a sense of insecurity. Try to force someone to feel secure when they do not is never a good thing. Try to understand and discover what adjustments need to be made to help him feel more secure. He did not chose this situation but he is in just as well. His feelings must be considered and accepted. Even if they do not line up with adult plans. Children should always come first.
2007-05-21 01:58:31 · answer #2 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too have a step son who after 9 years is the bane of my existence. I would never ever get involved with another man who has a child from a previous relationship. My step son makes up stories about me being mean to him so he can get daddies attention. He is always comparing himself to my sons from a previous marriage. He manages to manipulate daddy into getting him anything he wants because he learned what works with daddy. When Alex visits in the summer everyone is on edge because if Alex hears the word no he screams and yells saying daddy does not love him. Maybe you will do better than me with your case, but I am throwing the towel in after 9 years. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-05-21 01:48:23 · answer #3 · answered by itsjust me123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? Children often fantasize that their parents will get back together. That is a normal reaction for the child. Maybe he is scared that you might be replacing his mom, not just with his dad, but him too. His father should sit down and have a talk to him to find out what is wrong.
2007-05-21 01:17:23 · answer #4 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your child has had a change of mind because he might have thought that you were nice as a friend and he thought you guys were making a great couple but now, he has noticed that he wont be able to change your marriage once its done, I think you should talk to him with your fiancé and see what has changed this boys mind, good luck and happy wedding!!!
2007-05-21 01:05:11 · answer #5 · answered by chinas_chibi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea he wants to run your lives for you, take him and give him a good damn hiding, but sit down and talk to him and find out what changed, you never said how old this stepson is, and maybe also get his mother to tell him that she is happy and under no circumstances will she divorce her present husband to go back to her ex
2007-05-21 01:55:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If nothing has changed in your home life, then maybe its his mothers home life that may be influencing him. Tell your fiance to watch and see his sons actions and reactions to see what your seeing. then maybe he will get the problem out of his son to see whats going on.
2007-05-21 01:02:01 · answer #7 · answered by Lilkryptonite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has 5 different babies via 5 diverse women people in case you extremely love him then issues will artwork out. we've a daughter collectively and he replaced into extra in contact with the medical doctors appointments and start and such. He replaced into in the transport room with me and not together with his different babies. He has consistently been dazzling with our daughter and would not have a clue what to do devoid of her. you purely could think of whilst he's long previous purely confirm you talk with him your desires and the way you sense proper to the region and in case you won't have the ability to look after it decrease your ties now formerly issues proceed to any extent further. sturdy success.
2016-10-05 11:38:08 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yall probably in stilled in his mind everything would be a lot better and now he is realizing he wants his father for himself. He has been through a lot and has put up with it for long enough. He is expressing he wants his dad now a does not want to lose him to you.
2007-05-21 01:14:23 · answer #9 · answered by Bones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALL kids want mom and dad to get back together... his dad needs to sit him down and tell him that aint gonna happen, and then ask him why he has had the change of heart
2007-05-21 01:00:45 · answer #10 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋