Should you take cash to a Japanese wedding? If so, are the bride and groom expected to reciprocate?

Question

If I'm going to a Japanese wedding I've been told that I should take cash as a gift, and that it should be new and folded. Is this right? I've also been told that bride and groom are supposed to reciprocate your gift - and that they will give you something to the value of about a third of your gift. Is this true? If so, do they give cash or a gift? And at the wedding, or later?

Answer 1

♡You go to the wedding and you take a traditional 'Shugibukuro'. It is a special envelope for giving money. They usually have a knot design on them called "mizuhiki".
There are MANY types, from simple to elaborate. *You can get them at department stores, most stationary shops, even convenience stores sometimes.
http://massa.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/shugibukuro.jpg
http://mayucafe.up.seesaa.net/image/shugibukuro.jpg
http://shugibukuro.kurobeer.com/shugibukuro.jpg
You may give 10000 yen, 30000 yen, 50000 yen or 100000 yen. Depending on your relationship to the bride or groom.
The bills must be NEW, crisp bills and NOT folded. I go to the bank and ask for money that I may give as wedding money. (It's common in Japan.)
Put the money unfolded and flat in the special envelope. Usually your name is written on the front of the envelope, Japanese style.
At the end of the wedding the bride and groom will give you either a gift selection catalog (catalog with many gifts to choose from-fill out the post card-mail it in and wait for your gift to arrive), which is very popular, OR a bag with a few gifts in it- 'hikidemono', ex. cakes/sweets, tableware/dishes/rice bowls, sugar...
It depends on the wedding budget. You carry it home with you.
Hope this helps, have a great time at the wedding and enjoy the experience!♡
BTW-Male guests typically wear black suits, white shirts and white ties, while female guests wear either kimono or formal dresses.

Answer 2

Yes, it is customary to bring cash to a wedding. The one wedding I attended had a table set up outside the reception room to drop your envelope off. I would go for either 30,000 or 50,000 yen, but whatever you do, do not give 40,000! The number 4 is pronounced "shi," which is also the word for death, so it is like cursing the bride and groom! Get one of the traditional envelopes- I am sure that everyone at your local shopping center will be delighted to show you exactly what kind you need.

Answer 3

Japanese Wedding Etiquette

Answer 4

Yes, you need to give cash as a wedding gift. And the price varies according to the relatioship that you have with a groom and/or bride.

If you are just a friend of either of them or both of them, the average price of the cash that you want to give is ￥30,000 yen. And if you are a relative of either of them, ￥30,000 to ￥50,000 yen would be appropriate. And if a bride or groom is your nephew or niece, ￥50,000 to ￥100,000 yen would be appropriate. And if a bride or groom is your sister or brother, ￥30,000 to ￥100,000 yen would be appropriate. And if a bride or groom is your business partner, co-worker, or employee, ￥30,000 yen would be appropriate. And if a bride or groom is your boss, ￥30,000 to ￥50,000 yen would be appropriate.

And you need to insert cash in this special envelop called " Shugibukuro" or "Goshugibukuro" for wedding. And you need to pick an envelop that is appropriate for the price of the cash. Also, you need to pick an envelop that has 寿 (Kotobuki) or 御結婚御祝 (Gokkekoniwai)on the front of the envelop. Or you can actually write the word(s). And you can buy an envelop at a stationary store.

There are a variety of envelops that you can choose so you would probably get confused which one to get it. But usually when people insert a real huge amount of cash in an envelop, they need to choose an expensive envelop because it's just the way it is. But if you are giving less than ￥30, 000 yen, just pick an envelop that costs between　￥300 to 500 yen. And if you are giving more than ￥30,000 yen, pick an envelop that costs between ￥ 500 to 1,000 yen. And if you are giving more than ￥50,000 yen, pick an envelop that costs more than ￥1,000 yen.

And also you need to write your name on the bottom half of the front of the envelop, which looks like this: http://allabout.co.jp/family/ceremony/closeup/CU20011001A/index.htm

And yes, you need to go to a bank to get new money. Just exchange the old one to new one. And when you insert the cash in an envelop, don't fold it but just place it flat and the front of the money should be seen when a bride or groom opens the envelop. This isn't that big deal but some Japanese people think that seeing the back of the money when opening the envelop means death or bad luck so just be careful about that.

And in Japan, if you are attending a real nice reception, usually a bride and groom have a gift for their guests, which is called "Hikidemono." These days, they offer a "gift catlog" as Hikidemono that has many products that their guests can choose as their gift for themselves. But the product's or products' price might be ￥10.000 yen or more. Depending on how much a bride and groom spend their money for the reception, the price of the product will vary. But usually it is an etiquette for a bride and groom to give a gift that costs half of the price of the gift that their guests give to them. The etiquett is called " Hangaeshi." But of course depending on a bride and groom, Hangaeshi can't be expected. But the guest will definitely get Hikidemono that might be really good ones or crappy ones.....I just don't want to forget to say that Hikidemono could be some items, foods, or else other than the gift catalog.

And Hikidemono is given after the reception. So if your Hikidemono is really heavy and if you don't have a car but need to take a train, briging it back to your hotel is a pain in a butt.

And also you need to be careful about the numbers of 4, 6 and 9. Japanese people think that those numbers are bad so when you insert cash, don't give them ￥40,000, 60,000 and 90,000 yen.

And when you give Goshugibukuro, it's an etiquette to insert an envelop in cloth called "Fukusa." The color of Fukusa should be purple or red. If you don't have Fukusa, you can buy a handkerchief and use that instead. The following website shows how to use Fukusa to fold the envelop: http://allabout.co.jp/family/ceremony/closeup/CU20010915A/index.htm

It's in Japanese, but the pictures show how to fold it. And you don't need to understand Japanese language to do that. Just follow the pictures.

By the way, where do you live now? If you are attending this Japanese style wedding in the US, you don't really need to follow their custom so much. But if you are going to Japan from the states to attend the wedding, you need to follow their custom and take cash as a wedding gift. But if you are going to Japan, are a bride and groom going to pay for the airfare for you? If they don't, you don't really need to attend the wedding but if you really want to attend the wedding though they don't pay you for the airfare, it will cost you. Or if you live in Japan and attend the wedding, it's all up to you to attend the wedding. If you live far away from the place where the wedding will be held at, usually a bride and groom will rent a shuttle bus for the people to get to the place where the wedding will be at.

Answer 5

yeah, you're supposed to bring about 20,000 yen i think. They will give you something like a plate in return.lol If he/she is a good friend of yours you're supposed to give them about 50,000yen. Also, you can buy special envelopes to put the money in. They sell them at 7eleven if i'm not mistaken.

Answer 6

yes, it depends on how good of a friend you are but 30,000Yen or 50,000Yen would be enough. They will most likely give you a "okaeshi" or "return gift" to you about 10,000Yen or 20,000Yen.

Answer 7

If that's the japanese custom, then yes.