paternity test. what should I do?

Question

my boyfriend and I were dating only a few weeks when I got pregnant. The last person i slept with was about a month before my conception date. my conception date was january 23rd of 2006, andthe last person i slept with before my bf was on christmas. there is no way my daughter is anyone elses but my boyfriend. of this I am 100% confident that my daughter is my boyfriends. His parents want a paternity test. which I have absolutely no problem with..I completely understand their worries.

But here is the kicker. they dont call to see how she is. they bought her one outfit on christmas that was too small for her. since then they have called not once. Its like they are not concerned with her at all. I understand them being skeptical, but my boyfriend has told them on more than one occasion " even if there was any chance at all she could be any one elses,and im not her biological father.....no matter what...she is still MY daughter.

my ? is do the paternity test? or not?

why should i give them a paternity test when they dont even try to accept her even tho my boyfriend would accept her no matter what? its like they are not even giving her a chance or the time of day. why do you need a paternity test to accept your grand daughter? what do you think?

when i finally called them to ask if it was because we werent married..they said no its because girls lie, and you guys werent together very long.

we are in the military so paternity test doesnt matter as far as child support goes...just as long as he is on the birth certificate as the father. adn the paternity test is free to us..but the point of it all is......should i get the test just to make them happy when they havnt met us half way? me and my bf are both100% sure she is his.

also..they told me their selves when i called them..i found out earlier around when my daughter was first born they asked him to get one and he said no cause he didnt need one and to never ask again

Answer 1

I think in the end it comes down to you & your beau. If he is happy & accepts her No Matter What, why bother w/ a paternity test to please the grandparents who seem like they could care a lot less?

If there is no doubt in your mind & you want to prove them wrong & maybe make things better for your daughter in the long run by actually having her grandparents in her life on more than just christmas, Go for It for her sake.

Answer 2

I wouldn't bother with a paternity test unless you and/or your boyfriend want one. Me personally, I would want that definitive confirmation that the baby was his, just because I would want to be able to tell my child the truth of where they came from without a doubt. I have the same situation with my baby, that I was with someone else prior to getting back together with a former boyfriend. We later married, and separated while I was pregnant due to abuse issues. Now am in the process of determining paternity 100%...I know whose she is, but still it is good to know that before too much longer, I will have DNA proof of it so that I know for a fact that I will never be telling my daughter the wrong thing. That is what really matters, knowing that she will have the opportunity to know the truth without question.
I wouldn't do it just for his family though, it should be something you guys decide whether or not to do. Good luck!

Answer 3

If HE is pledging to love her and be there for her no matter what, they should, too. But unfortunately, the reality is he may not be, and they are simply leaning toward the odds. But they should be treating her with love and attachment simply because she is the daughter of their son's girlfriend! So this is a big red flag concerning this family, and possibly your future. But remember, the paternity test is not for them, it is for your daughter. She deserves the correct info. But how about thinking of keeping the paternity testing private, and not even telling them? Then this will give you and your bf time to digest the results, and for you to see how he really feels with the correct info across time. I would be livid if they found out he was the bio dad and suddenly started treating her differently. But if you just keep it to yourselves, then you leave them out of the loop for a while -- till you two figure out where you are with it.

Answer 4

My question is did they call and tell you they wanted the test, or was the boyfriend the messenger? If he was the messenger, that is because he wants the test and is hiding behind his parents request instead of being a man. If he didn't want the test, he would have never mentioned such a disrespectful thing. He knows if he wore a condom or not....he knows where he was 9 months before your angel was born. So that should be it. Tell your boyfriend if he or his family wants a test to pay for it. I'd also be clear that regardless of the results, that his family is not welcome in you or your daughter's life. They shouldn't need a paper to tell them how to behave. They can't be shi!!y one moment and giddy the next. Tell them they have made their choice and that it is their lost. You and your daughter deserve more respect. Count your blessings because they have showed you their true colors.

Answer 5

If the results aren't going to change the way he feels I would suggest you do it. Only because it would be more painful on the child if you were to have to be tested later on. If he was found not to be father, and your daughter needed medical attention it is best that the Dr. know who both biological parents are. There are different reasons for that. Don't have the test for his parents... do it for your daughter, and your peace of mind.

Answer 6

If your that confident then do the paternity test, if you resist they are going to think that your hiding something. Then once the test comes back that it is their grand baby then tell them they need to apologize and that they need to be active in the baby's life or they need to just stay away. Do what's best for your baby, and even if you don't like them, they could be good grandparents. I can't stand my in laws, but they're good with my daughter and she absolutely loves them, so I just bite the bullet. It'll be worth it in the end> Good luck

Answer 7

If you get medical assistance from the state, you will have to file for child support and they will order a paternity test anyway. It will hurt nothing to allow the test. I understand your feelings but (and I hate to be the one to say this) you don't matter anymore. Your daughter deserves to meet her father's family on her terms, and that means with a paternity test. If they choose not to be in her life, that's their choice. If you don't try to give her every opportunity to connect with them, she will blame you for their behavior. It is admirable that he has that sentiment, but that may change with his family constantly whispering in his ear. Just allow the test, but make them pay for it! Best wishes

Answer 8

the fact is that they do have reason to be concerned. even though you know better and he knows better. i can tell you that my uncle was only with the mother of his child for like a week when she got pregnant and despite the fact that the kid looks like his clone my mother, his sister, is just convinced that he isn't my uncles. which doesn't matter really because like in your case that is his baby no matter what. but my point is why not just do the test to shut them up? then they will have no excuse for being bad grandparents except well being bad grandparents. of course if your boyfriend objects then don't do it he may want them to just grow up and except his family as his family. good luck

Answer 9

Its not up to the parents to ask for a paternity test, it is up to your bf. If he doesnt want one then you shouldn't get one.

Answer 10

just get the test .. it will make everything simple.
Im sure even though he loves her no matter what, he'll love to see the test show him as the father :)
good luck! God bless!