What if you love your ex so much but you have made a mistake. The mistake being that when the two of you broke up you kissed another man and let the other man touch you. Now the both of you are trying to repair your relationship, but the guilt of letting another man touch you while you were broken up is interfering with letting yourself get close again with the man that you love? Do you tell the man that you were with someone else while you were broken up even though it might hurt him so deeply or just not mention it because you guys weren't together at the time because he does not like hearing about other men at all?
2007-05-20 19:30:31 · 17 answers · asked by souplane21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to be honest and come clean.
Take the risk, he may surprise you.
You were split up anyways.
But you wont be able to be happy until to you tell him.
And a relationship built on lies will never work.
2007-05-20 19:35:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you want a chance at repairing the relationship, do not ever tell him what you did while you two were split, and do not ask what he did.
It is hard enough to go back without complicating the situation by making useless confessions. This only give the other person ammunition for the next argument you have.
You have nothing to feel guilty about. This was done when you two were split up.
Concentrate on working out the problems that caused you two to split up in the first place. That should keep you busy. Good Luck!!
2007-05-21 02:40:28 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best policy! YOu will have to live the rest of your life knowing that he doesnt know... can you live with that? He will get over it with time, but the 2 of you weren't together, so what's the big deal. He may have done the same thing and is scared to tell you! If he loves you, it should not matter. You didn't sleep with the other guy, so in the end, nothing really happened. Be honest, you will feel better later!
2007-05-21 06:06:03 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell him unless he asked if you'd been with anybody while you were away.
Understand, that you didn't make a mistake. You are human and your desires are perfectly normal. Just look forward rather than calling attention to more of the painful times that have already passed. If it's really heavy on your heart and mind and you go on thinking about it for months, maybe you should tell him then. Or talk with a someone u can trust independantly to see what you can do to work on your current relationship and maybe they can give you ideas on how to free your mind of what happened.
2007-05-21 02:45:45 · answer #4 · answered by Jeska J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your situation......DO NOT TELL.
Is it worth clearing YOUR conscience to betray him again? That is what you would be doing. If you love him, do not tell him. Do not hurt him again. You have to deal with what you did. There is NOTHING wrong with what you did. But, you feel this heavy burden of guilt! If you love this man and want it to work, concentrate on pleasing him and working on your relationship together. No good will come out of hurting him again. He will always wonder many things and even question himself. Let it go. Deal with it however you have to. Men are strange creatures! My friend (male) told me to NOT tell just to clear MY conscience. He was right! I concentrated on what I wanted.....the man I loved!
2007-05-21 02:46:53 · answer #5 · answered by Tracey H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be saying anything if I were you. Sometimes what you dont know dont hurt and even if you are having a problem with it the worst thing you could possibly do is tell your guy. He will never forget it and it will be thrown in your face when you fight or if he is angry about something. Just keep it to yourself. You didn't cheat on him as you say you were split at the time so live with it by yourself.
2007-05-21 02:36:24 · answer #6 · answered by karena k 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. If it were me I would tell him just so I could get it off my chest and hope that he would tell me it was ok and that I didn't need to feel bad any more. But either way, even if he was a jerk about it I know I'd feel better to not feel like I was hiding something. But, if you think your man is going to make a huge deal out of it and you don't want to risk it perhaps it is better to just tell yourself that you didn't do anything wrong and just move on with the man you love.
2007-05-21 02:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do Not Tell Him. Never tell him. Did it ever occur to you that he may have done the same thing. The important thing is that you are together now. This is what BOTH of you want. Look to the future and let the past go.
2007-05-21 02:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell him. What good could come out of it? It would only hurt him. I wouldn't want to hurt the person I loved.
I know a lot of people will tell you to be honest but I think that is a load. There are some things that should just be left behind in the wind.
2007-05-21 02:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by Molly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were broken up, you shouldn't feel guilty. Don't tell him about it. A lot of people will rant and rave about honesty, but as a guy, I can tell you that it's best if he doesn't know. What are you hoping to accomplish by telling him? I hate hearing about my girlfriends' past sexual experiences. I know that it's a fact of life, but I don't want to know. If it really bothers you, use it as motivation to treat your current lover well. See it as a life lesson and be a better person because of it.
2007-05-21 02:40:16 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the past should be just that. If it interferes with the two of you being closer than don't spill the beans. It will emasculate him and that's not good. Stop feeling guilty, though. It's the past for you, too, if you are truly putting this behind you.
2007-05-21 02:36:00 · answer #11 · answered by ehlonader 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋