would you be with a woman that wanted a baby so bad and then got pregnant and got so freaked out that she had an abortion? her choice not mine. i told her id have it if thats what she wanted to do. she made all kinds of lame excuses and i just said well i'll keep it but she said, i've been drinking and it's not the right time. excuses, excuses, excuses. i told her well the reason i don't think you want this baby is because you are going to leave me. she said that's crazy! two days after the abortion, she left me. now is playing the victim. i need to get her out of my mind and move on. she seems so cold. how can she be so cold and want to end everything. she will always be connected with me. she almost had my baby. she will never be able to forget me even though she's running. i want it ended now because of the hurt. however, i know after she settles down, she will be in contact with me again. it's inevitable. How do i handle this situation?
2007-05-20 18:04:27 · 16 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, I would not stay with her... That was a very selfish thing she did, especially considering that she had "wanted" a baby and that you wanted it, too. I don't know how to handle the situation, but maybe you should try telling her some of the things you've written here... but be firm about ending the relationship.
2007-05-20 18:10:31 · answer #1 · answered by 8teph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your question is, if I were a guy, would I be with a woman that had an abortion with my baby, then I would say yes. Why? Because it's her body, and our relationship would not be right if she ended up carrying/having this baby when she wanted to NOT have it.
If your question is would I take her back after she left after having this abortion and acting all crazy and all I want to do is get over her, then I think you've answered your own question.
You say you need to get her out of your mind and move on. Well, do it. Go out, forget about it, think about her every now and then and wish her luck, but unless you're absolutely in love with her and can't live without her and she feels the same, then I say get over it.
Obviously there was a reason for the abortion. Don't think that she's just making excuses. If she was drinking during the pregnancy, and admitted it, then there's one reason. Are you positive she didn't do anything else, such as diet pills, recreational drugs, etc... I'm not saying she did, but it's so common these days that girls do it without realizing it.
How do you handle the situation? When she calls, say hello how are you, hope you're doing well, and then when the conversation is over, let it be over. Breathe and relax! Maybe she IS going through some sort of breakdown... which is common for a lot of women who have just had an abortion. Don't take blame and don't throw blame...
Good luck :)
2007-05-20 18:45:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is not connected to you. She ended that connection by having the abortion and leaving. Yes, she will have regrets and that is a sad thing for her.
You sound like you want to move on but are hurt over the baby situation that will never be. If you decide to let her back into your life it will take time and lots of emotional work to feel comfortable and trusting of her actions.
Whether you let her back in or move on to another relationship, use a condom! Until you are married and committed, don't have kids!
2007-05-24 18:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how can someone answer this question? the girl may just be emotionally crazy right now and hormones may be some of the reason for that and the girl just might be crazy who knows? anyway you know this girl better then me or so i hope so at this point it is up to you to make a final decision on how this story ends..either you let her back or you don't plain and simple..either you're ok with her having an abortion and then leaving you or you're not but that's all your preference..so to me the abortion wouldn't be a big deal it would be all the excuses she gave and the fact that she then left.....so what do you want to do?
2007-05-20 18:16:18 · answer #4 · answered by ELIZY 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"why is the call purely as much as the female? shouldn't the male have a say interior the concern too because of the fact he could haven't any elect to grow to be a father . . . So why is the call of abortion fullyyt as much as the female?" If a guy needs to maintain a fetus and the pregnant lady does not elect to, then he's quite entitled to it. needless to say, i do no longer precisely recognize how he intends to gestate it to term, yet she would have the ability to have an abortion and he can take the products of concept and do with them as he needs. What he does not get to do is stress a woman to be an incubator for 9 months against her will. No way, no how. and that's what you quite advise, isn't it? this is not purely that the baby is a million/2 his- this is that he feels that because of the fact he ejaculated interior her, he gets possession over her physique to make her gestate the being pregnant on his behalf. in short- the call belongs to a girl because of the fact this is her physique, straight forward as that. "nd if the father needs an abortion and the lady says no, theguy then has to pay new child help?" a guy is below no economic legal duty to offer for a being pregnant. He does not could desire to pay for the cost of prenatal care, nor does he could desire to assist the lady throughout the being pregnant, neither is he obligated to conceal or help with the charges linked with hard artwork and transport. If he needs to, he could properly be absent for the entire 9 months. a woman can in addition "walk away" from a being pregnant and the appropriate expenditures by using having an abortion. as quickly as a splash one is into the international, the two mom and father are endowed with responsibilities and ordinary jobs to attend to it. desire that facilitates clarify it!
2017-01-10 11:50:16 · answer #5 · answered by kathleen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no and there is nothing else i can say about this that is fit to print in this forum.the child was half yours and she should have taken that into concideration.you'll get these answers on here that say it was her body her chose well if the shoe had been on the other foot and you had been the one who didn't want the child and she had wanted to keep it you would have had to have been a father or at the least required to support the baby whether you wanted to or not it takes two people to make the baby so two people should have a say as to whether or not the babys life is terminated.
just my opinion and we all know what thats worth.
2007-05-20 18:48:35 · answer #6 · answered by windwalker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This woman is mentally unstable, block her number and email address and should she get through to you tell her short and curt that you do not wish her to contact you again and hang up. You are not forever connected to this woman. For all you know the baby was not yours and that is why she aborted it.
2007-05-20 18:11:42 · answer #7 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You move on and don't let her come crawling back. Say no and mean it. There are nicer more stable women out there that don't like to play games. Good luck next time you fall in love.
2007-05-20 18:09:11 · answer #8 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL OF COURSE NOT. I AM SORRY ABOUT THAT THOUGH. I CAN NEVER FEEL WHAT U ARE GOING THRU, BUT BE STRONG. THERE IS A REASON WHY THINGS HAPPEN. MOVING ON IS A BEGINNING TO START A NEW CHAPTER IN YOUR LIFE. CHANGE YOUR RESIDENCE IF NECESSARY SO SHE WILL NOT FIND U AGAIN.
2007-05-20 18:17:55 · answer #9 · answered by CONFUSED 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss,but it sound like you need to hurry up
and move on. this women has some issues that she need to
deal with, and really you don't owe her anything. she the one
that did what she did. so i would take this as a sign to move
on because she sound like she crazy.
2007-05-20 18:13:05 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋