I have been married 2nd time for a year he moved to live with me and paid most all of his bills off. Now were both working he right now is making more then me but I have more bills to pay then him. I ask him for help he does help but complains that its his money and makes me feel I am a burden to him. Does anyone have any ideas how to resolve this problem?
2007-05-20 18:03:42 · 7 answers · asked by wildrose 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
before I was a stay at home mommy I worked a full time job with the hubby as well. We COMBINED our checks. We had the attitude your money is my money and its really so much easier to combine the income into one shared account and pay the bills from there. It doesnt matter if one makes more than the other... It a major compromise of being married you both become "as one" when you say your vows so your money should be "AS ONE" as well.. try it the bills will be so much easier to control and handle just go over EVERYTHING EVERY PAYDAY OR MONTH AND DISCUSS WHAT BILLS YOU AGREE TO PAY ON for that month or week. And if you get MAD at one another dont ever say thats my money.... just because your angry or upset because you can really hurt your partner and some things you simply cant take back later no matter how sorry you are. Combine both checks and try it for three months... if you both like it stick with it... if you seem to think its not quite working for you change it back. ...because what will work for one person,... wont necessarily work for another couple. I just wrote ya what works for us. Hope it helps.
2007-05-20 20:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by misspookett 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ouch--this is something you should have discussed before now. However, best thing to do is sit down (seeing how you LIVE together) and talk about your costs of living and how they should be maintained.
As a couple, you would do well to have a sum of money designated to paying bills (jointly) and also ensure that each of you has a personal allowance, as well. No one should feel like a burden to their partner because the other earns more--that's simply unfair!
2007-05-21 02:15:43 · answer #2 · answered by Lannee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very important to have a serious conversation about money. This is probably the biggest issue in divorces. You both need to be on the same page. What about retirement? How about schooling for the kids (to come)? What about buying a house? In California, all earnings after marriage are community property, regardless of who earns what. It's time for a reality check. Consider counseling.
2007-05-21 01:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had the same issue with my boyfriend. I pay at least an extra $400 in other bills and sometimes I would ask if he could help. He made some rude comment so I replied with the fact that we are a team. And reminded him that we share alot of things, and that sometimes we need to help each other. Also that in this team, one day we plan on getting married. What's mine is his, and his is mine. Tell him your both working for the same cause, to be comfortable and enjoy each other. If he doesn't understand that then he needs to learn how to comprimise! Special if you two are married!!!!
2007-05-21 01:18:26 · answer #4 · answered by lopez_k_s 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
In a marriage with mature people, it's best to have all the money coming in go into one account, then all bills are paid out from there. It's OUR money, not individually.
2007-05-21 09:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should combine the money. Married people are suppose to share everything. The way things are now, was fine when you lived together. What a selfish pig you married.
2007-05-21 08:34:28 · answer #6 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divide all the bills both him and yours and you pay half he pay half that's what I do.
2007-05-21 01:13:55 · answer #7 · answered by Diana K 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋