Why are people more accepting of older men dating younger women rather than older women dating younger men?

Question

Think Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, there was an uproar when they started dating. Their 'unusual' relationship still commands headlines.
Jack Nicholson and Lara Flynn Boyle on the other hand, drew less attention.
Real estate tycoon Donald Trump married model Melania Knauss; he's 59 and she's 35. No biggie.

So, why do we find older women dating younger men less acceptable?

Answer 1

It's true, men usually marry younger women because of their potential to produce children. And an older woman, one who already has her children (like Demi, and myself) or is past her child-bearing years (again, myself), is viewed as being in the relationship with a younger man for one reason only......the sex is damned good! Now, this is still somewhat frowned upon because, as a whole, we generally do not want to think of our mothers as sexual beings (at least my kids don't)!

Answer 2

There are many reasons to this question. But I would like to think the followings are some scientific and less bias answers:

1> Mentality , matuarity
It is by biological default that females mature faster than the males, not only physically but also mentally. Mentality wise, there is no wrong to an older woman dating a younger man although it may seem like a mother going out with the son. But most importantly, seeking for love, comprehension and attention, security and a peaceful life, would the elder woman be comfotable to have to comprehend, often be challenged by the young masculine, testosterone drenched and more aggressive (compared to older men) younger partner? Would Mr. Young Man be comfortable with a wiser, motherly woman? I would like to think that love is simple, blind and totally sensual.

2> Social Status
Unintentionally, I do think that the society's norm does inffluence the criticism couples receive by dating a younger male. Imagine if this elder woman and this younger men were to date in a place where no culture or believe is yet formed, wouldn't they be happy?

I think, as long as both parties are comfortable and think this relationship is worth fighting for, go for it! Bottom line is, each individual do know what really lies beneath his and her hearts, and most willingly live the consequences of this older-younger- union.

In other words, when it comes to love, be trurthful to one ownself first.

Answer 3

Because society is run by the "boy's club", and even though we (women) were given the vote, allowed to work, enroll in colleges and in some areas, join what used to be all men's country clubs, our pays will never be equal in my life time, our duties- which include child rearing, housecleaning and bringing home the bacon will never change and allow us to become "one of the guys". I don't care how many citcoms there are on TV, you will never see an older woman dating a younger man---and on that subject---how come if a heftier gentleman dates a younger svelt woman he will get thumbs up from the boys club however if one sees a heavier woman dating a younger thin man-- even not younger---they think he's a paid date????????????

Answer 4

Women generally are a fussy, insecured lot. They fuss about what they wear, what paint they put on their faces, what shoes they put on, what attitude they protray to the public, how they want a report to be written, what you should and should not say, where you should and should not sit, the tiniest stain that is found on the toilet floor, the one ribbon that is missing from the exhibition poster and so if it is about their marriage, you can imagine all the questions running through their head. Can this younger man make me feel secured if I am married to him and not just dating him ? A date could be just a fun time without any future commitments. Are Asian values ready to accept something out of the norms ? A younger Asian man might be educated and looks modern but when it comes to issues like this, he would rather date a girl of the same age or younger than him. Sometimes it is not the problem with the couple but with the family, the relatives, the friends and other strangers.

Answer 5

I think whether people want to admit it or not, it all goes back in history.

Women were always looked at as property and/or the weaker sex.

They were the baby makers for the men, to keep the family name going.

It was common for young teenage girls to be married off to an older well established man.

This was for the good of the "family" first and the girl's future second. (I am saying in their view-not that it is mine).

It seems no matter how "modern" we think we are and claim to be, people still look at things from the "past" point of view.

I have a question on the same lines...

why is it more acceptable for an older man to marry a much younger woman of his own nationality, then it is for him to marry a much younger woman from another country?

Something to think about.

Answer 6

What I have found a woman who hits 35 is bombarded by guys in the early 20's or over 45. The men who have not married are looking for a breeder and someone to impress their friends with. Of course, the early 20's and over 45 are doing the same thing. Yet, there are a lot of men your age that will be interested in you.

Answer 7

I'm not sure what planet you've been living on, but in my "less-than-sensationalistic world", nobody is in an uproar over Ashton & Demi. We really don't care that much about it. Nobody I know gets worked up over the older women and younger men relationships, either. 20 years ago it got attention - now, nobody gives a crap.

Answer 8

Sandy is more or less right.

I believe it to be a combination of chauvinism and tradition.

The chauvinism it apparent, at least to most women.

As for the traditional aspect, it goes back to males choosing progressively younger mates as they get older and their womenfolk died off from child-bearing and overwork. In earlier centuries, it was not uncommon for a man of 70 to have buried three or four wives, most often due to death in childbirth. Even though the life expectancy difference has changed in favor of women, the tradition still remains.

FWIW, I've always tended to date women older than myself, sometimes as much as 15 years older. My wife is 3 years older than I am.

Doc Hudson

Answer 9

As we can see, normally men shall be older than women when dating them so therefore it's common but as for older women who date the younger men, it's definitely rare especially in this world. Sooner or later, that trend'll be common in the society no matter how long it takes.

Answer 10

Hey, hold on here. We men love the double standard. Under the double standard we can continue to make fools of ourselves "buying" books for someone else to read.

I am engaged to a girl so young that for wedding presents we have her registered at TOYS- R-US.

In a few years, she will hand me my cane, adjust my wheel chair as she goes out for the night to take care of her sick aunt.

Funny, I never knew she had aunts ????

If you are a woman and want to date and marry younger men, remember younger men also have sick uncles.