Am 24yrs old and I've been married to my husband for 7yrs now. And when we got together the sex was great and nonstop.Now its like he begs me and I just can't seem to get in the mood. I feel so bad, but am also scared that it will lead him to cheat on me.. Please someone help....
2007-05-20 16:22:38 · 7 answers · asked by jasmine r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you've been married since you were 17? wow! my guess is, you've just become to comfortable. there's nothing new. nothing out of the ordinary. you married very young. do you have children? that plays a big part in this. it's very common for a woman to become bored or tired with life in general,especially when there's no time for yourself. try to re-connect with your husband. start dating again.(with him of course) you really didn't have a lot of that before you married. your lives have changed and maybe you just forgot who each other are. keep trying. this will pass. it's something most of us go through. good luck.
2007-05-20 16:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it on the calendar. Seriously. Decide what time of day is best for you, like when you're least likely to be tired, pick a day of the week, or two, or three, and go for it. You're more likely to be in the mood if you know it's going to happen instead of him just asking you and your mind is a million miles away. This will also take away any fear of rejection he has built up over the months/years from always feeling as if you're turning him down.
Also ask yourself what happened to make you stop caring about sex. Do you have children? Does he help you around the house? Is your health okay? Does he make you feel special and loved? After you've thought about what might be behind your change of heart, you should have a talk with him to express how you are feeling and make him understand that it isn't (?) his fault.
Lastly, you -- or both of you -- might benefit from seeing a marriage counselor, who can offer some more good solutions. Good luck!
2007-05-20 16:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by Judgie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fear is well rooted in the reality that people do cheat on their spouse all the time due to them having a lack of a sex drive. Do you not find him as attractive anymore? Do you not find yourself as hot and attractive anymore? Sometimes it's good to do things to rekindle this attraction of yourself and him. Whether it's going to a gym (if you have time). Giving him a private dance (may sound silly but it works!) Or trying to please him with a new position or something there are multiple ways to get things hot again. I personally don't advise the swinger lifestyle because I believe it can lead down the road of jealousy and resentment. You have to be able to love and be attracted to your spouse without the help of other people in the bedroom, that's just my .02.
2007-05-20 17:03:58 · answer #3 · answered by Macro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey this is a touchy subject...My hubby lost his drive for a while but while I was close to cheating on him, I instead sat him down and told him how I feel and that I had needs,well long story short we started swinging and it brought his and mine sex drive to a new level. I am not saying that is for everyone but talking to him is,Maybe if he stopped pressuring u and found out what he could do to turn u on it would help,, good luck
2007-05-20 16:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by FL P.I. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would suck! Try adding something to spice it up like toys, movies, massages, etc. As fo rhim being lead to cheat, it's possible becasue after all he is human and humans need sex. But, if he really loves you, he'll HAND-le it and be there with you anyways....Good luck!
2007-05-20 16:28:30 · answer #5 · answered by lilbeamlover 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont know if you have children, but sometimes after kids it can lower your sex drive. i recommend speaking with your obgyn about checking your hormone/estrogen levels. if they are offset that could cause it too. if he's a real man, he won't cheat!!! i would talk to him about it though, communication is key in any relationship, he's your husband he should understand.
2007-05-20 16:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, don't waste time asking any of us!! Go and see your doctor!
It may be emotional? It may be hormones? But go and get it checked out, ok, before neglecting it hurts you.
For me? It was emotional. I can tell you that much!
2007-05-20 16:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋