They crash into
my face, these pimple
pushers with their
twinkie cream, always
threatening my belly
with room for more
folds
folding over my belt.
Have you seen
my
fat pants?
2007-05-20 16:06:26 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
That touched me to the core. You have a deep, keen insight of the human psyche.
2007-05-20 16:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This poem is quite good for a beginner, there is defiantly some nice imagery in it, but it kinds of lacks direction, its a bit confusing, it starts off with you happy you have found someone, but they aren't really yours? And then they go away, which is a fine storyline, but you need to illustrate a point in the poem when they leave. It doesn't quite rhyme in places, which I do not blame you for, rhyming poems are very very difficult, so maybe you should just try non rhyming poems to begin with. If you like the idea of rhyming still, try just making it lyrical when spoken, counting the syllables per line is a good way to do that. Poetry can be fun and very satisfying, I think you should continue, you may even make some money! But you need to buy a book on writing poetry to really get the best results, I recommend "the ode less travelled: unlocking the poet within" by Stephen Fry, he is fantastic and and very entertaining.
2016-05-22 14:52:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From 1 to 10 I rate it #7.
2007-05-20 16:11:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this music. In my own closet hang pants with waist sizes 32, 33, 34, 36, 38 and I currently have several elastic waisted and draw string pants. I call these . . . (with shame) my "Big-Boy-Pants". Loved your poem. If the fingers themselves can take the blame for the offense, with clapping hands I punish them as I'm off to scoop me an ice-cream cone.
2007-05-20 16:46:33 · answer #4 · answered by Di'tagapayo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
10 out of 10
2007-05-20 16:10:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your FAT pants? Like the ones you're wearing now are your THIN pants? I've heard of poetic licence but that's REALLY stretching the boundaries of artistic verisimilitude!
Rating: 9.9/10
2007-05-20 20:32:08 · answer #6 · answered by Dolores & the prune 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are like--REALLY funny! I hardly ever answer about someone's poem because I'm almost certain if I'm honest it'll hurt their feelings. If this is a choice of 1 to 10, can I give you 15??
2007-05-20 19:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by Valac Gypsy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
5/10.
=)
2007-05-20 16:09:36 · answer #8 · answered by Pauli :) 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GREAT poem!! Oh, by the way? I have your fat pants. I've been wearing them all week, and you've just noticed NOW!
2007-05-20 16:17:09 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♫i luv♥♫juicy fruit♥♫gum 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Fantastic!
2007-05-20 22:39:07 · answer #10 · answered by Zelda Hunter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋