How can I cope with the pain of solitude and loneliness?

Question

I have absolutely zero friends, in person. None, period. Some people may find this very difficult to believe, but unfortunately, it's true. It's a terrible thing to not have at least one person whom I can telephone, on the spur of the moment to say, "Hey, what's up? You wanna meet up at blank (insert place here) and blank (insert activity here)?" I contemplated this as I sat in a restaurant, alone, this evening. It would have been nice to have had some company. I wished I could call someone on my cell and invited them to join me, but there was no one for me to call. I have plenty of things I can do by myself, to entertain and occupy myself and my time, but they just don't compensate for the absence of a tangible social life.

FYI: I cannot and do not work because I have a disability. I do not own a vehicle. I have an extremely limited income. These factors make meeting new people even more difficult. I don't know what to do.

I'm about to the point of painting a face, made of red paint, on a volleyball and name "him" Wilson.

Someone mentioned meetup.com. I subscribe to the weekly schedule of meetups for my locale, and there are none that suit me. However, I remain subscribed in case something new and interesting comes around. I've been subscribed for about a year now. There's still nothing for me there, yet.

Answer 1

I feel the depth of your situation right in my bones. And I bet that there are millions who identify and empathize with your severe life restrictions.

A thought came up. You must find a creative means to express your situation. That 'means' must be presentable to the public. Perhaps it is a form of art. Perhaps it is some service of some kind. It would be incredible if you could express your feelings, your life in pictures - whether painting, sculpture, computer-art like Photoshop, etc. And then present it as an exhibit. It is a wonderful way to meet people. Perhaps you have some musical talent. Maybe you can find a way to perk it up and join some other musicians. Do you write poetry?

One of the most important ways to overcome aloneness and isolation when you yearn to meet somebody, is to offer something creative about yourself. Reveal something about yourself. Try to tell your story or show your unique way of seeing things. Try to touch people in some way. Then you will meet somebody through a joint interest. You will not feel helpless.

Reach out with your passion and you will be reached.

Answer 2

Wow, that you have a disability, and can't drive really puts a crimp in things. Do you live near a library? Maybe you could go to a library and strike up a conversation with someone who is reading something you're interested in? Or maybe go to a coffee house, and just kind of hang out and see if you can meet some people? Are you a senior citizen? Some towns have groups for seniors, and pick them up, etc....

Answer 3

Since it sounds like you don't go to church there's always some group therapy or singles club on line or in your area.Try Yahoo personals. I'm on disability but I have the freedom to drive myself places.Finding some time to help others can be reciprocal or rewarding in friendship of some sort.You didn't mention your disability handicap either. Some people have clashing personalities.Maybe you might look for someone with an identical or similar personality/intellectual type?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reciprocal_altruism

It's been awhile since I've seen Castaway. Buy a box of chocolates than.

Answer 4

lynsbrc is so correct. Art or some for of expressing yourself int he right place or format can open many doors to meeting people in person. You also need to get out. Despite your disability, I am sure you are reasonably mobile and can get out somehow. You sound like such a fun, intelligent interseting person there would be hundreds of people who'd want to hang out with you!!! Please have faith in yourself and the courage to get yourself out of this rut. Leave the house and go join a club/s where people meet in person, get to know some people- organise a party. Get amongst it!!!! You are worth so much and people won't know that or see it if you hide inside on your computer all day. Good luck sweetheart.

Answer 5

I would also suggest a club of some sort. If you have a mental hx disability, I would suggest contacting your local CMH and linking with them for some type of group.

Another cool meeting site is meetup.com, you can meet a ton of people that way. Good luck!

Answer 6

You have taken the first step out of your solitude and loneliness by going on-line with Yahoo! Answers. Concentrate on what you can do, and not on what you can't do. You can work and earn income on the Internet without physically going to work! Concentrate on your skills. You have good English, and writing skills. Capitalise on that. Many ads on "telemarketing" or "editors" needed are in the papers every day. Look out for them.

Then, dream of what you can become! I know of a staff who works at UPS, who is disabled, uses a motorised wheelchair, drives himself to work, and back home. He was recently featured in the papers of one of the "abled" disabled.

You can do!

Answer 7

Is there a club, meeting place, or church that you could start going to? The key would be to get out some, to meet people, make friends. Do you chat online? That would help some when you are home. The key is to get out.

Answer 8

There are plenty of people out there who would love to hear from you. Find a way to meet them or if you cannot do that, then learn how to enjoy your own company.

Answer 9

That's a hard situation, but fixable, I believe. Finding a right church where people will genuinely welcome you and minister the love of God, not only in church, but also during time during the week to help you stay busy.

Find a good church or make calls to different churches, explaining your situation and see if they offer rides. Go for it.

Answer 10

As much as it might suck all you can do is wait. But while your waiting you can think about what your going to tell your ex she deserves to know what went wrong, please don't use the line "it's not you, it's me" she might just kick you.