Recently, I had a job offer that was more money (25% + more)and promotion. Because of greed of getting more money than the original offer, I held back. Because of my mistake, the deal fell through and the employer hired someone else. This has been really bothering me. It has been nearly two months now and I can't get past this. I cannot even focus on my current job and my family. I don't know what to do. I feel like I missed out and it's bothering me beyond words. I have never felt like this before. Call it crazy, but I sometimes even get to tears. Help! How can I overcome this? How would you rank this in terms of a regretful life event? Thank you for your help.
2007-05-20 13:11:26 · 10 answers · asked by Hurting 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You have to chalk it up to bitter experience, a lesson learned, understand what the lesson was for the next time this situation comes up, and move on. Clearly, you are feeling guilt over allowing greed to think for you, you have to find a way to forgive yourself, as a needed lesson, and continue to put out your resume, you will probably feel better if you go out there, get another offer, and handle it right this time. Whatever you do, you can't allow your guilt and embarassment over your own foolishness affect your family, they need you, and they need you to continue to hold down your current job, and do it right in the meantime, get out of your own stuff, and recognize that there are others depending on you. Sounds like at least part of it is embarrassment, understand that you did something human, that many before you have done, and move on. You're not the only one, so try to get over the feeling that there is a neon sign over your head telling the world you're a fool or something.....try to get back on the horse again, if you keep trying for another job, you will ultimately have to get over that feeling, if for no other reason than practice, practice practice....
2007-05-20 13:28:49 · answer #1 · answered by beatlefan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't call it greed that motivated you to hold out for possibly a better offer. You have a family and you are thinking of your future...and it is perfectly okay for you to put a value on your worth to another company.
You have to look at it this way, you already have a job, you are out shopping for something better, but you are in the drivers seat - if you feel that x amount of dollars is going to help secure your future for your family, then there is nothing wrong with scouting around and holding out for it.
I'd rank it as a NEGATIVE 4 on the list of regrettable life events...you are out there learning about the job market, and the more insight you gain on negotiation - the better off you eventually will be.
Keep looking, the job market isn't the greatest at the moment, employers are tight, but when the right match comes your way - you will know it. It won't be the first increase in income or upward movement you will be offered. In the meantime, you ahve to remeber you need to keep the job security you already have, so get your head back in the game at work...
2007-05-20 20:26:06 · answer #2 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This very same thing has happened to me quite few times..
lol I learned some things out of this..
I believe that if you look back and analyze the whole situation you can learn some valuable thing out of this and use them in the next job offer.
Remember that they offered this job to you cause you ARE WORTH IT.. they KNOW you are the right person for the job.. as a result I believe you are going to get more offers down the line.. It happened to me ..
don’t worry too much learn and move on.
and the most important thing.. NEVER FORGET OR LOOSE FOCUS FROM YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE THEY HAVE GIVEN YOU STREENGHT TO BE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
;) just a thought
LIVE AND LEARN.
I always say: "We ask for advice when we have the answer but we don’t like it"
2007-05-20 21:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by Do Santo File 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in order to move past this, you need to start looking for another job or opportunity. Since this is bothering you so much,I'm going to assume that you are not happy in your current position and that's why you are beating yourself up over not taking this. Perhaps there is an even better job offer out there---you need to go and find it (and remember that money isn't everything). Good Luck!
2007-05-20 20:24:01 · answer #4 · answered by Lara S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say when the window of opportunity knocks answer it, or the window may be closed forever., for opportunity only knocks once.
I would feel the same regret you do, and in a way I do, I had an opportunity to make a better life for myself and I blew it. and now I am paying the consequences for it.
so I am learning my own lesson, and it will help the next time I get a chance for anything even close to what I had.
don't take for granted what you have or you may not have it no more.
greed is only for those who only think of how to get more for their own selfish needs. not when they are doing it for the needs of others. that is not selfish.
greed is only for the greedy not the needy.
2007-05-20 20:22:07 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it was a good opportunity, but the best thing to do is treat it as a lesson in life and move on. You still have a job and other opportunities, possibly better opportunities will come you way. It happens to everyone, or at least to those people who get opportunities. Sometimes it rains, sometimes it pours, and sometimes its a shiny day, but at least we are alive in each to live another day!
2007-05-20 20:21:20 · answer #6 · answered by cavassi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you feel is rejection and it looks like you have not been rejected much.
If you are unhappy in your present job then by all means go and find another one, or you can show your present employer what you are worth and ask for that promotion or salary rise.
2007-05-20 20:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by Imogen Sue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a true believer that everything happens for a reason. You might not know the reason for a while, but something even better might come along. Don't dwell on it. Enjoy life and your family and have faith that it will work itself out.
2007-05-20 20:20:11 · answer #8 · answered by Bit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been conditioned this way, it is common in white collar America. You have been conditioned to believe your self-worth comes from your job, your economic status. To combat that conditioning is a life long trial.
2007-05-20 20:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by The law is a form of tyranny. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
regret is useless because the past cant be changed. and remember, greed is a sin. also, whom ever got that job will probably not see their family as much as you. cheer up, dood.
2007-05-20 20:18:46 · answer #10 · answered by Cainis>Lupis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋