i've been with my girlfriend for about 1 year. i just have this problem. she has a kind of "wall". she doesn't trust people even though she has known them her entire life. she even doesn't tell me things sometimes. i try to be compleatly understanding with this and i'm really patient. she really wants to "break down her wall" and wants me to help. i don't really know exactly how to do that. how can i do that?
2007-05-20 12:57:39 · 9 answers · asked by double you tee ef (the answerer) 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
sane problem here i delt with it trust her with things get her to think "well if he can trust me with all this stuf i should trust him" basicly tell her stuff no 1 nos about you even if you have to make stupid stuff up but when she knows you trust her she will start to trust you causing a chain reaction to stasrt slowly trusting other and get others to do the same it will go much much faster the more people trusting her. good luck man
2007-05-20 13:04:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. This isn't an uncommon problem, but even so, unless you are a professional therapist, you simply don't have the experience and knowledge needed to help your girlfriend.
If she wants to get help with this problem, she should gte professional help. There is no shame in seeking help.
Now, as for you, the best thing you can do here is be supportive and acknowledge your limitations. I'm a guy who used to think I could help everyone. I found out I couldn't...just like you will. There's no shame in that either. Sometimes the best thing yo ucan do is admit what you can't do and help someone find the right person who can really help them.
2007-05-20 13:04:40 · answer #2 · answered by davegretw1997 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should respect her space. If she sets boundaries, then don't try to cross them. She will trust you more if you do that. She will let her guard down when she's ready. If you pressure her she will distance herself more. People are more likely to be open if they are in a good mood and relaxed. Make her laugh, and find out what are her most enjoyable activities.
2007-05-20 13:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by martin h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people were hurt early in life, and so will have problems trusting others. Its best to wait and try to figure out whats going on, but don't try to force her to reveal why she is the way she is.
2007-05-20 13:04:22 · answer #4 · answered by Cainis>Lupis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has to know that you can be trusted with her inner most thoughts and feelings. Make sure that when she does confide in you that you tell no one, or it will get back to her and she will never trust you again. All you have on your side is time. time to prove that you are trustworthy of her most inner thoughts and dreams and fears. let her know your confidentiality by showing her, telling her sweet things that will gain her trust, trust is never just given, itis earned, and you have to earn her confidence in you..
2007-05-20 13:02:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get her to see a therapist, or just wait till she feels she can tell you things. it depends if her issues are serious or mild. If she has had a traumatic past, parents divorced etc, therapy may be the best course, as they will know how to help her. Good luck, stick with her, it'll be just fine.
2007-05-20 13:02:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you have to give her time for her to realize that she can share anything with you. constantly remind her that she can trust you and that you care a lot about her. she needs to feel like she can trust you. talk to each other everyday and build trust
2007-05-20 13:00:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would encourage her to seek counseling. I don't think you will be able to accomplish this yourself.
2007-05-20 13:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by cavassi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theres nothing you can do, don't stay with her to the point where your patience runs thin.
2007-05-20 13:00:27 · answer #9 · answered by Delete System32 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋