My ex-daughter-in-law keeps inviting me to join her in these on line dating clubs! Men want to meet healthy women who can cook and clean. Facts are facts! I am happy with my life the way it is. I don't want to set myself up for heartbreak again if there were some man who would look past my disibilities?
2007-05-20 12:33:47 · 9 answers · asked by Pamela V 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ People with Disabilities
The image socialite's set.
You just have to keep saying no I am happy the way I am.
I had that probem with some people they can't understand how someone can be happy single.
There are planty of places to meet some one and find out their true character before you even start dating them. And it better to have a friendship first. You have to see some one in many different places, good and bad situation to learn more about them.
Life can be enjoyable single.
2007-05-20 20:18:21 · answer #1 · answered by jobees 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look, instead of playing the "excuse" game, just tell her the truth ... "I don't want to particpate in the dating clubs" and leave it at that. You don't owe her an explanation. The fact that it is something you don't want to do is sufficient, and it doesn't matter WHY you don't want to, you just don't!
That said ... the other part of your question is erroneous! I have known many disabled men and women who have met and fallen in love and had a wonderful relationship, partnership, marriage. I could name a dozen here offhand that I have known personally.
But I will settle for just my own story ... I met a man 5 years ago, while I was in a wheelchair fulltime, had a chronic illness that also caused me to be bedridden for months at a time, was 100 lbs overweight, and on top of that, had a disabled son that will always be dependent on me! We did meet online (Yahoo! Games), but as soon as I knew he was interested, I told him all of these facts. His response was "so? your point is?" We have now been wonderfully and happily married for three years.
Admittedly, not all men/people are like this, but don't sell them short! There are indeed plenty who just want a loving and caring companion and level of ability, disability, and such are not issues to them. Older men (over 55) will tend most to be more open, as they are beginning to value the idea of a partnership for the remainder of their life.
If you prefer not to invest in a relationship, then that is fine. But don't use the excuse that no one can love you. If you are truly a fun loving person as your profile says, then there will without doubt be those who want very much to share a life with you.
(P.S. ... I am still ill, still in a wheelchair part time, a walker at other times, still obese, and still have a disabled son ... and now since April my hubby is disabled with a serious heart condition, and I certainly don't love him any less! )
2007-05-21 01:56:50 · answer #2 · answered by Pichi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly happy with your life as it is, then tell her that. However, you stated that you are happy with your life as is after making the claim that "men don't want to meet a woman who is in a power chair." I will agree that many men would not want to, but I think you are selling yourself short if you think that all men would instantly dismiss you on that alone. There is more to attraction than being able to walk.
I'm not saying to give it a try, but if you decide to, don't do it expecting to meet a romance, just give it a try for friendship. I might also suggest, look for a meeting or message board for your local area just to see what is out there for someone like yourself. You might find that there is one for those who are handicapped, and being that there will be people, male and female, who know your area and the challenges in your city, you might find some solace in that
2007-05-20 21:11:02 · answer #3 · answered by jade_calliope 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
On line dating clubs are all the rage these days. Ask your self are you wanting male companionship? If the answer is no then go no further. If the answer is yes then it would not hurt to put an ad on line as long as you give full disclosure. I am sure you will find lots of men who would love to have an interesting charming partner.. But remember this one caveat .......If you want men to look past your disabilities then you have to be able to look past the guy's short comings also. In short you all both have to take each other exactly as you are. That is not really all that hard.
Good luck.
2007-05-20 21:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by Elphin B 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Getting her to understand the idea that men are not interested in women in a power chair is not going to work because it is not a 100% true statement. Getting her to understand that you are happy with your life as it is should be easier. However, there is a difference between being happy with life as it is and avoiding situations that you fear may bring you heartbreak. Perhaps she is sensing that is the reality rather than that you are truly happy.
That is something only you can decide.
2007-05-20 19:40:18 · answer #5 · answered by CountryLady 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up hope and never put yourself down. Maybe you could pursue the dating club avenue with the intention of simply having fun. You deserve what everyone else has and you seem like a nice person. Whatever the situation, you can't force love anyway. Just enjoy life. I don't know what it's like to be disabled but I've had my own problems and have felt like giving up. Be open-minded and you never know what might happen. I hope you find happiness.
2007-05-20 21:56:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some one will love her no matter her disabilties.Never give up on love..A famous poet said it is better to love and had lost than to have never loved at all. You should be proud she is going out there trying. I stayed to myself for 6 years alone bitter cruel and i am as healthy as the next healthy person.
Now I am with someone and even though my road to happinest was not easy i appreciate wat i av bc it did not comeeasy and there were alot of heart ache before hand that later i was glad i didn't hook up with..You say u are not looking for a heart break i call them protection from wat could have been worst
2007-05-20 19:46:37 · answer #7 · answered by JustDeniece 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men out there love the morbid obese women. How do you know they won't like women in your condition?
2007-05-20 20:50:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are making excuses to cover up your own fears of rejection and failure. they aren't bad fears, they just need to be admitted. even if that is not the case, just tell her you don't want to go; she can go if she wants to, that's fine, but that you don't. simple as that.
2007-05-20 19:41:12 · answer #9 · answered by chicky 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋