2007-05-20 11:51:28 · 14 answers · asked by nunes_judy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
Been there, done that!! I feel for you. I think as Mom's sometimes our lives revolve around the children. When they grow up and get lives of their own, we feel hurt and insignificant.
Know that they still Love you. They have different priorities now. I wallowed around lonely for awhile. But decided to go back to school. Even if I just take 1 class per semester, I'm doing something, and I found I enjoy it. I have also started doing some things that I never had time for, like cake decorating, fishing, reading, visiting family and friends, volunteering. Not all at once. It will be hard at first, to take a step out of the "Mom" comfort zone. Take it one baby step at a time.
Also, don't drop everything and come when the children need something. I did this at first too. Then my feelings would be hurt when they didn't come visit etc.
Now my Son and Daughter sometimes get a little shocked because if they want me to do something I might be busy bowling that night, or I have a cake meeting. It has been an adjustment for both sides.
You sort of get my point, right?
Start doing things for you. Even if you just take a long hot bubble bath once a week. Do something that makes you happy. This will catch on, and you won't feel so deserted.
Good Luck - From someone who has been there.
2007-05-20 12:08:33 · answer #1 · answered by Fireant 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if they are never in touch, then you were deserted. If they are just busy and not in touch as often as you would like, then hopefully it means that you raised them well.
You probably feel not as "needed" now. But the whole point of being a parent, is to raise self-sufficient adults. And if you have done that, you succeeded. Try picking up an old hobby you haven't had time for, or take up a new one. Take a class. Doesn't have to be a job related one. It can be pottery, poetry, a foreign launguage, whatever catches your interest. Just wait, you will be needed when grandkids come along. :-)
If your kids are doing well in life, count your blessings, my oldest has a felony record, does meth, sleeps around. I put her in every sort of program available when she was younger. She ended up pregnant and I have a grandchild somewhere in California that she gave up for adoption. So, if your kids are doing well, just enjoy the break before the next wave of kids comes along, and these you get to spoil rotten and send home. Grandparents are for love.
2007-05-20 19:04:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey you'll miss the devil when he's gone if you've lived with him long enough. Your kids have probably been the center of your world for more than half of your life now, but they are just "infant adults" ...toddler adults at best, and the are discovering everything. There simply aren't enough hours in the day for them and you, being Mom, will ALWAYS be there no matter what so you get pushed aside sometimes.
Mom, a long time ago, before the kids were born you breathed in and then out and in...and you had a life....BEFORE the kids. It was a life worth living too. You breathe in, out, and in again now, but you need to cut loose a little bit and live. Your kids Love you and they don't mean to be inconsiderate....they just don't realize how it feels...yet.
Go spend their inheritance in the bahamas....you'll see 'em on Thanksgiving. Now go party!
2007-05-20 19:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by AuntTater 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You don't give a lot of info here, have you actually been deserted, or do you just feel that way? IF you just feel that way, it is time to make a life of your own that does not involve your kids..you have been strapped to those things for a very long time..it is now your turn to live it up..start today. I certainly would not wait around for them to come around...no way. There actually IS life beyond offspring...and a very good one at that.
2007-05-21 18:20:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they now have complete control of their lives. In your life it was both a weighty responsibility and a bit of an ego trip to have control of another human being. We rather solved the problem of needing responsibility by adopting. The weight seems more comfortable than the lightness of having none.
2007-05-20 21:26:42 · answer #5 · answered by Terry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its difficult to see your children grow up and not need you as much in the past. I am sure you have spent many years doing things for your children, ie sports, plays, etc. Its now time you should start to find outside interests for yourself. Join a group, take up a class, etc....
2007-05-20 18:55:54 · answer #6 · answered by ama1360 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Faith has said it properly.
If you know anyone with younger children, those innocents with undiscriminating affection, maybe you can help their parents and have some fun too.
"After you reach a certain age, young children are like elephants - nice to see once in a while but you probably don't need them in your living room."
2007-05-21 06:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by xxpat 1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, thats one fact in parenthood that has always been.. but for some, children still communicate with them.. like my brother.. sometimes, my mom also feels that his own son has deserted him.. then i explained, they are growing up and part of growing up is change so just be there and support them.. :)
2007-05-20 22:58:49 · answer #8 · answered by khatzzz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the way it is join the club and then go out and have a good day Join a group, learn something new
2007-05-21 01:11:01 · answer #9 · answered by devora k 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to answer your question until I saw Aunt Tater's answer... Now I'll just say AMEN!!!!!
2007-05-21 02:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by Chaplain John 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋