My wife suddenly started sleeping with her maid of honor after 9 yrs. of marriage. But she won't leave me or move out- offered her 50K cash. Her "girlfriend" is getting divorced. It has been 3 months now. (I bought them a 3 mn anniversary card LMAO.) I care about her still but am definately not in love. Known she was bi since we met. (First mistake...) I am suffering from the nice guy syndrom (sp)
What should I do? - I am already in my late thirties and REALLY want kids.
2007-05-20 11:33:47 · 19 answers · asked by Tom B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
See if the maid has any honor.
2007-05-20 11:39:43 · answer #1 · answered by tim-c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people (men and women) have ideas about how it would feel being in a bi relationship. This has been the case in society for thousands of years. Many take that one step further and experiment. After 3 months I would say that your wife has found the emotional enjoyment she was seeking. It is a possibility that with the girlfriend getting a divorce that she engaged your wife to proceed into this activity. It could have just started with a hug.
Your wife still loves you since she will not leave you or move out. Even after the financial offer she stood her ground. Yes! She wants to be with you also.
Although men are physical by nature you should turn up the emotion a little at a time. Do a little something extra to show you care i.e. flowers etc. Sit down and have an open minded conversation about the subject and by no means make any judgments. Listen, as compared to hear, to her more then you talk.
The next time you are with her in bed don't just have sex but conduct extended foreplay and put passion in the love. She is looking for true loving emotion so give it to her. The more you give her the less she will need from her girlfriend. But if she continues seeing the girlfriend don't stop her but try to understand where she is coming from.
2007-05-20 12:01:55 · answer #2 · answered by Natural Medicine Man 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce, move on, and give her protective goggles so the dust you kick up from running doesn't get in her eyes!!! If you are a nice guy, like you say, there are PLENTY of woman out there who will grab you in a seconds time and give you the time of your life!! AND children ---without sleeping with their maid of honor!!!!
Worse comes to worse, spend your $50k on a mail order bride LMAO!!!!
Good Luck and best wishes!!!
2007-05-20 12:00:26 · answer #3 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will never change , you will never be able to trust her. Walk out that door straight to Divorce Lawyer and don't even think about bringing children into the world with a woman like that, find you someone that is straight and let her have her maid of honor. You'll be able to find a real nice girl and if she comes don't let her come back in the house. Change the locks on the doors and hit single circuit, don't even think about letting her talk you in to taking her back. Once she has cheated she will never change and your to nice of a guy to take this kind of sorry mess.
2007-05-20 11:54:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT give her $50K to leave. If she won't leave on her own, then "separate" within the residence (eg, separate bedrooms, separeate financials, etc .) Talk to an attorney about filing for divorce. Do not be a nice guy any longer....why on earth give her money to leave? Get an attorney, split things up the way they should be, etc. but dont give her more than she deserves.
Do you really want the mother of your children to be a bisexual cheater?
2007-05-20 12:03:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knew she was bi when you met, so like you said, that WAS your first mistake. You need to get divorced from her as soon as you can. Someone, the right, straight woman will come into your life & you can have a family with her, just make sure she wants children before your relationship goes very far. Save yourself more heartaches.
2007-05-20 11:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you made a mistake by marrying her...but you can easily fix it. FILE FOR DIVORCE! It doesn't seem like she is going to change her mind. Even if she did, how could you continue to live with and eventually have kids with a woman who is so selfish and unconcerned with your feelings? You seem like a nice guy and it is definitely not too late to meet someone new. There are plenty of single women out there who are looking for long term commitment and children. Good luck!!
2007-05-20 11:43:06 · answer #7 · answered by chemikalie08 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this but it seems like you wasted 9 years on a woman who really didn't care about your feelings. Stop suffering and get out there and find you a woman who will love and care about you.
2007-05-20 12:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a lawyer...you could move out, but if you want the home, then you should see a lawyer. Why would you want to be with her when she is cheating on you with someone else. It doesn't matter that the other person is another female. Get out while you can.
2007-05-20 11:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by oklady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not good. I really dont see kids in the future in this relationship so if thats your dream, id advise you to look elsewhere. Time to cut your losses, divorce her and move on to fulfill your dreams. No way to win here. Good luck
2007-05-20 11:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy a camera and start a web site starring the both of them. That's what most nice guys do.
2007-05-20 13:25:23 · answer #11 · answered by Mark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋