me and my man for 11years with 2 kids broke up for a month in that month i found out he was seeing someone but didn't know who. I alwyas asked him if he was and would deny it. well after being apart for that month. we decide to work things out. when he moved back in i had told him to tell me who was he seeing before it comes out. of course he didn't. well 2 days later. as we were watching tv i hear a knock on my door it was the girl he was seeing. as to my suprise the girl was someone that used to mess with his friend and lives around the corner from our house.we are together but now am feeling that i might of made the wrong desicion. should I work things out or end it. is it still cheating even if we weren't together.
2007-05-20 10:23:17 · 12 answers · asked by dimples 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Technically, yes he was cheating, but common sense tells you a different story. You were separated for a reason, it wasnt working therefore he felt he was free to experience something with someone else. Do you think he is still cheating? Why did the girl call around and how did you find out it was the girl he was cheating with?
I dont think you should jump to any conclusions based on the girl knocking at the door. I would be very interested to find out her reasons....was it she who told you about the affair, or was it your husband. Maybe with those details it would be a little bit clearer.
The sight of this girl has made you question your decision, but you knew he had been with someone when you were separated so why after seeing her are you having doubts? All that has happened is that you have put a face to the person you knew he was with. Or did something else happen that makes you think that this affair is still continuing?
Whatever the case, you and your husband have a lot of talking to do. You need to express all your fears, all your hurts and allow him to give you an explanation. You will find out the truth eventually, but only with open, honest lines of communication will you "fix" whatever is wrong in your marriage. I strongly suggest both of you get some counsellling.....it certainly wouldnt hurt and it would probablly help you find out the truth.
2007-05-20 10:34:07 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he has broke all connections with this girl, then there is a chance he would cheat...You are in a pretty bad situation, you have been together for 11 years and to be without you should have made his sad...not to run to a different woman. This may be something he always planned to do.
2007-05-20 10:59:05 · answer #2 · answered by sagin123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not cheating if you were not together, and he was right not to tell you. No matter how much you wanted to know, or felt you had the right to know he was right to not tell you.
It's up to you to decided whether or not to work things out. If he is not cheating with this girl and isn't going to what more could you want? All of your problems were created by you when you decided to break up.
2007-05-20 10:30:29 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You broke up for a month, but there was no legal seperation so yeah its defenitely cheating. The fact that she lives so close spells possible doom for your marriage. You need to do some soul searching and see if you can ever trust him enough again. Personally I think he is a pig for doing that to you and your kids. What a putz.
2007-05-20 10:34:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As Seinfeld would say, "WE WERE ON A BREAK". No, it's not cheating, if you broke up. Yes, you need to stay and work it out. Just because she stopped by doesn't mean they're still involved. I would just make it clear to him (and her) that you two are NOT on a break anymore and they are over.
2007-05-20 10:42:52 · answer #5 · answered by Gr8estluv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gurrrll . ! Why did this woman come to your house!!? There's a fly in the pudding.... Dig deep and be smart. Explore your options on the best way to skate! Confront him safely and follow your instincts. Personally I think he is cheating and you dont deserve that. "IT"S BEEN REAL.... BUT I'm OUT..."
2007-05-20 10:35:44 · answer #6 · answered by Sophie1970 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you did not know he was going out with her before the event, yes it is cheating. If you knew, don't see how it would met the definition.
2007-05-20 10:36:11 · answer #7 · answered by oldcorps1947 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its gonna be a problem since the floozie lives right up the street. i'd watch him like a hawk and toss him out on his ear if he stepped out of line again.
2007-05-20 10:27:02 · answer #8 · answered by vixalle21 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Miss Dimples, Your first concern should be did he give you a disease? Tell him he cheated once and it will cost him everything if it is repeated.
2007-05-20 10:38:03 · answer #9 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not if you were broken up.This is why you MARRY first and make a committment.Even if you hadnt been broken up it wouldnt have been cheating.You see"I love uyou" sex, kids and shacking up are NOT a commitment to a relationship. "I DO " is.
2007-05-20 10:27:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋