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I have been diagnosed with HIV last summer. It is getting worse every day. My tried to suck the blood off my finger when I accidentally cut it yesterday I avoided it but then she said to me that if I really loved her I would transmit the disease to her and so we can have a shared destiny. I love her above anything on this planet and now I am stuck in this dillema. How do I talk her out of it?

2007-05-20 09:13:18 · 37 answers · asked by John W 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

37 answers

What in the world is wrong with her? And, what is wrong with you for even considering that? If you love her, you will keep her as healthy as possible for as long as you live. Stay strong and don't even buckle when she gets gooey and begs for "destiny".

2007-05-20 09:15:45 · answer #1 · answered by Kathryn R 3 · 0 1

I dont know but for a fact i know that if u do it and she catches it u all are worst off. This is because if 2 people have hiv/aids and have intercourse then it will develop into a type 2 or 3. Just protect her because if u die she wont have to worry about having HIV and she will not be afraid to move on to a next relationship because she wont have to worry about giving someone else the virus. By the way she is acting i can tell she really loves u and dont want to be with anyone else. That how i react with my boyfriend. I think i would want to catch it from him too if he had it because i want to be able to shair and feel what he feels.

2007-05-20 09:20:03 · answer #2 · answered by empressbebet 1 · 0 0

First of all I am sorry about your deadly disease.
And I would like to tell you is to try to hang in their ok!
And make the best of your life each and everyday.
Ok now to get back at your question. I can't imagine what your wife might be going through. But man you must try to avoid her getting her transmitted I can understand her wanting to be with you for ever til death do you part but you must tell her that this is not the correct way at all. What she needs to do is seek professional help she is so deeply hurt from your news she needs someone that she can talk to and let her feelings out you can not kick some sense into her you most get her help actually you know what you both can get professional help it could do good for you and her as well
so I wish you good luck and please don't give up in life

2007-05-20 09:28:52 · answer #3 · answered by mary o 3 · 0 0

She must love you as much as you love her. It's not a good idea, but if my man was in a similar situation, I would want to share his destiny with him. I wouldnt want to be in this world without him. Look at the Romeo and Juliet story, they wanted to die with each other than to live without each other. I certainly can understand why your wife feels like this. Like I said, its not a good idea because there is life after death...she will grieve and she will get on with her life. At the moment, she cant envisage life without you, and I can really understand how she would be feeling. There are some couples, when one parner dies, the other one pines away and dies of a broken heart....Love can be so powerful sometimes. My best suggestion to you is for both you and your wife to attend counselling....see if an unbiased third party can't talk her out of it. Other than that, I can't suggest much else. Maybe you could tell her not to give up...you havent because there could be a cure just around the corner, but then if there is a cure for you, there will be a cure for her...so I guess that wouldnt help. I really dont know what to tell you because I know how I feel about my man and I wouldnt want to be here without him either.

2007-05-20 09:23:49 · answer #4 · answered by rightio 6 · 0 0

Tell her if she dies with you, then there will be no-one to remember the love you shared together, and that would be worse than death. The only thing that keeps you going is knwing that she'll have a happy life when you are gone, and always remember you. I feel for your problem, it's heartbreaking :( death is hardest on those we leave behind, but you need her to be strong. Good luck, you could still have a few more happy years together, so tell her not do decide now. When she sees what you have to go to later, she may change her mind, sorry if that sounds awful. I'm training to become a research scientist, so hopefully one day we will find a cure. My heart goes out to you.

2007-05-20 09:23:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think she may be in denial, and still has romantic ideas about death and love. You should find some serious counseling for her, or have a conversation about how bad you feel, and how if she got infected by you, you would feel guilty as hell. She must understand you dont consider it a love gesture and that she has other ways of supporting you, like remaining healthy and thus being there for you, not burdening you with another worry. You may have to be very hard with her, before she does something stupid, and its too late. But I strongly recommend you to find HIV counseling and maybe have someone explain to her how life works as an HIV positive. Good luck!!

2007-05-20 09:23:25 · answer #6 · answered by Daniela G 1 · 0 0

did your marriage vows include the phrase "till death do you part" ? if it did thats your loophole. Her deliberately trying to get a fatal disease would be considered suicide, which is a big no-no for christians .

If you are only HIV positive that does not mean you will develop AIDS. It would be wrong of her to take the risk of her developing AIDS and you not. If you have kids she is needed for them assuming you dont live long enough. She stands a fair chance of contracting the disease anyway just by normal contact of a married couple .

2007-05-20 11:12:27 · answer #7 · answered by mark 6 · 0 0

Doubtless she is extremely upset that you have HIV and are geting worse. I don't think she is being rational though, about sharing your destiny. I can even imagine having those thoughts if my husband had HIV, and I would hope someone would talk me out of it. You have to convince her that she has reason to live and things to do with her life, even if you are not around. Reach deep inside yourself and find something that will convince and motivate her to go on without you. You have to already be reaching deep being in this situation, so I know you have it in you.

2007-05-20 09:19:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

That's really romantic, in a weird, Romeo and Juliet kind of way, but...
WRONG.
Think of it this way:
If you do transmit this disease, you are responsible for her death. I'm sorry... but that's basically the case.
I don't know what your religious leaning is, but...
If I were you, as a Christian, I would tell her that she dying with you is not in God's plan- everything happens for a reason. As much as she'd like to die with you, God is using this pain for a reason. She has to stay strong with you and persevere- good will come of this.
You have to communicate to her each day how much you love her, and explain to her that it wouldn't comfort you to know you had dragged your love into the grave with you.

2007-05-20 09:19:07 · answer #9 · answered by whoops! 4 · 0 0

First you does not be ruining their marriage - it particularly is already ruined and you haven't any longer carried out a element.... 2d, how do you "comprehend for a actuality" he's cheating? Do you have data? 0.33, in case none of you have been reading the information and/or gazing courttv those days - each physique is MURDERED over issues like this out of worry of exposure. do no longer confront this guy. Writing an nameless letter and offering as plenty data as a threat looks like a good plan. enable her to touch you thru e mail for her very own sanity or in case you leave some thing out. Her wellness is at stake here....do no longer wait too long.

2016-12-29 15:48:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Tell her that you love her beyond everything and that is the reason that you are not going to let her suffer like you are. Tell her its your undying love for her that is keeping you going each day and that becuase you love her so much you are not going to let her suffer the same fate as you becuase it would be selfish of you. Then you need to tell her that if she really loves you she will stop talking stupid and be there for you and not stress you out by talking the way she is. Tell her that she needs to live life and make sure people remember you for the good after you are gone and that you want her to keep your memory alive. And if she still talks stupid then you need to get her some help honestly.

2007-05-20 09:19:58 · answer #11 · answered by superthunda 3 · 0 0

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