My friend and i have been close-the closest out of all of our friends and we can talk about everything. For the past three years, he's secretly liked me. I've never looked at him like "that" 'til just recently (long story). He's the "shy guy type" and has never really been in a relationship. We hooked up but decided to not go out due to many reasons - don't wanna ruin a friendship, we're young (20's), etc...
The transition wasn't easy - wanting to be back to best friends again but it's hard knowing that you have great potential for you two to be in a loving relationship. We're still good but it's not "the same" but i just realized that we're not the same people we were when we first met. Individually, we've grown up so much. We used to such "kids" and now we're slowly becoming "adults" with responsibility, we're both changing. I also hope that this is just a transition between us and i need to be patient with these "baby steps". I don't wanna lose him & our friendship, it's special
2007-05-20 08:39:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Any good advice??
(and when i meant "hook up", it was nothing serious...just kisses and cuddles lol)
and is this gonna be like a "ross-rachel" thing?
2007-05-20 08:40:20 · update #1
Well you're adults. Why don't you see what happens. Didn't Ross and Rachel get married in the end?
2007-05-20 08:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things do change as we mature and take on responsibilities. Hopefully you and your friend will be able to retain your friendship, but you should be prepared for changes in the way things are. A woman simply thinks differently to a man, so perhaps that is one of the reasons for it not being "the same"any more. I have been best friends with a man for over 30 years, and things are a lot different today to what they were back when I met him, and we were both "footloose and fancy free". You just have to be there for each other, whatever personal changes you are going through, and support each other. I am sure that if you both do this, your friendship will remain a tight and loving one. Hooking up with your best friend does sometimes change the whole frienship, but hopefully, you are over this "glitch"and can resume your friendship. Good luck, I know how good it is for a woman to have a close platonic friendship with a man, so I hope everything works out for you and him.
2007-05-20 09:05:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you were such good friends before, and know you have the potential to remain good friends, why not get together? Sounds like you're both just too scared. Seems to me like the possibility for the best relationship you both ever had if you take the romantic relationship just as seriously as you did the friendship. I mean, look at what you're saying: we can be such great friends but if we get romantic, we'll mess it up. Well, why's that? Do you always get into a relationship assuming you're going to mess it up? If you work well with someone and have the bond that allows you to hash out any issues, then what in the world are you letting that pass you by for?
2007-05-20 08:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. Like u recognize, people evolve and change. If the basis of your friendship is strong then the foundation should still be there. I was in the same situation, except she now has a bf. It may or may not work out but at least we value what we have established and don't want to lose it. Best to have a talk and get things out in the open. That will help.
2016-05-22 02:31:36 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just from my personal experience:
i am 30 yr old female, great friend of mine for 19 years, all thru school, kept in touch...after school and travelling, i moved 'home' and we 'hooked up'. i thought we were home free, since i knew him, already loved him to death and could trust him.
that was five years ago. last week, i moved 1800 miles away from him because things had gotten so bad.
i'm filing for divorce in 86 days.
(waiting period)
my point is this.....it is night and day, the difference between being 'the best of friends' and partners. night and day. i knew my friend almost my entire life and would have bet anything on us making it, on me really knowing him, etc etc.
if you love him as a friend and want to keep that as is, don't mess with it. things won't ever be the same, even if they don't turn out as bad as mysituation did, but if you risk it, you run the really good chanceof losing your friend, also.
2007-05-20 10:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by sarahjonas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know what you mean by normal again.
You seem to be looking at the cause for changes and nature of the friendship in a mature healthy manner.
Friendships changes with maturity and life events, some last forever but changes--"this may be called normal(common)", others we just lose track of.
2007-05-20 08:50:56 · answer #6 · answered by oldcorps1947 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things are never the same between friends once certain boundaries have been crossed.
If there has been physical contact, you cannot undo this, and it causes people to think and react differently.
That is why what you are doing is difficult.....It's easier to lose a lover, than to lose a great friend.
2007-05-20 09:07:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the best situatuation for a perfect love to grow. Continue being friends and dont hide your feelings for each other.
Peerhaps when you both mature a bit more, hopefully, u'll learn how to handle the situation.
2007-05-20 08:55:33 · answer #8 · answered by sholly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is take one day atta time, and hope that you reamain best friends. No one knows what tomorrow holds.
Fate works in very strange and unusual ways.
Enjoy whatever you have together, and dont worry so much.
2007-05-20 08:44:48 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk about it and see what happens. Take a chance and it might work.
2007-05-20 08:47:26 · answer #10 · answered by mr.rod33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋