To spank or not to spank?

Question

I was spanked rarely as a child. So rarely, I can tell you all 3 times I was spanked w/ a belt & what I did wrong in each incident & that I NEVER did it again. As a child was "flicked" (didn’t really hurt…just got your attention) when misbehaving by my father & my mother only slapped me once - I was 16 & totally disrespecting her…100% deserved & have never talked down at her like that since!

I as a parent, rarely need to spank my children because 99.9% of our discipline "tactics" work well before we would feel the need to spank. My 12 year old step-son (SS) is spanked quite frequently by his father…my husband who rarely spanks our children (my SS has been spanked by me a total of 3 times his entire life), but can tell you his behavior is a far cry from our other 3 children and to each child his own.

So the question to you is, do you spank your children? How do you feel when you see others spank their children in public...or those who do NOT discipline their children in public?

To "Jack", My husband is the discipliner when it comes to my SS & he has the right to discipline him the way he feels he should (as long as he is not abusing him....which I would never allow). I, on the other hand, decided when my SS was very young, that I would never spank him again...he was 5 the last time he got a pat on the butt from me (a total of 3 spankings from me & know he could tell you what he did wrong!) My daughter at the age of 6 has received 2 spankings from me & my 4 year old just received his first from me this past month. My 2 year old has never received a spanking from either of us!

My statement was an example to show that in some household each child learns differently & in the example my husband chooses to spank ALL of his children SOMETIMES...it's just that his son requires a different discipline approach at time!

Please do not judge if you don't know the facts - this questions was not about me, just wanted opinions!

Answer 1

never

Answer 2

I raised six children who are now in their 40's. The baby is in her thirties. I've also been a foster mother and helped with my grandchildren. I don't spank. It just teaches kids that might makes right. You win because you're bigger. It also teaches that hitting other people is okay.

As far as being a deterrent, the spanking doesn't last very long.... I was told this by a five year old. LOL HIs mother had threatened him with a spanking if he climbed on some farm equipment. He played on it and got spanked. When asked why he did it, knowing he'd be spanked, he informed us that he'd played on it for a long time and the spanking didn't last very long. It was worth it.

I think that it's important to set limits early on and to always enforce the limits/rules. Too many people just yell at the kid: "don't do that... I'm telling you for the last time.... you do that one more time".. Then when they finally do act, they're furious with the child. My belief is that the child should know the rules and the consequence should be enforced the first time, every time. No warnings, no arguing. It takes a lot more energy to parent this way. You have to be willing to get up and go get that child to enforce the consequence... time out or whatever you've decided on. In order to remain in control, the parent has to act when they're still calm and not angry. If the parent loses control, the kid wins.

Discipline with firmness but kindness was my goal. If you begin with this when they're toddlers you'll have well behaved, pleasant children later on and won't need to resort to spanking.

Parenting is a lot more work than some people seem to realize. It's also the only important job that a person takes on without training! George Bernard Shaw said that "raising children is a cottage industry run by amatures". He was so right. LOL

Answer 3

I was spanked rarely. A curt voice was all I really needed. My brother on the other hand was spanked too much. He was a pusher. ( wanted to push the line all the time to see the results) I think my parents went to far with him alot. I rarely spanked my own child. I do not like to lose my temper or teach that hitting is ok. I know some need more discipline than others.

I think if a child is severely spoiled and making a horrible scene, they should be taken to the restroom and spanked. Some parents go overboard on it, spilling into abuse. Others don't do it enough. I HATE to see a child throwing a fit or screaming in the store over something. I wish those parents would leave them at home or discipline them appropriately.

Answer 4

I was spanked 5 times as a child. I wasn't a discipline problem and pretty much always did as I was told. If I did misbehave, my mom was nowhere around or I didn't get caught.

My children rarely get spanked. I have four kids and they get spanked if I feel it is absolutely necessary, but that rarely happens. Punishments usually work much better than spankings in our house. I know children who are spanked everyday and they have horrible attitudes and dispositions. Also, many kids who are spanked continue with the same behaviour that they were spanked for. So in my opinion spankings are usually done to make the parents feel better, or establish their authority, but not to actually discipline the child.

Answer 5

We started to find out, the "hard" way, spanking or whipping is not the effective or appropriate answer. I am skeptical about "flicking, " which can be as painful as solid blows even though they don't leave bruises.

No, we don't spank any more. I think spanking is a sign the parent has lost the ability to communicate with her or his child, and is resorting to the traditional (good old) abuse. However, I am against NOT disciplining children. You do have to draw the line. Easy? No, but oh so very necessary.

Answer 6

I don't have children, but I know that there are times when a spanking is what is needed and I'd be open to it. I'm indifferent to when parents do it in public. I don't mind it, but it goes only so far. If the parent starts to abuse the child that's something different. For the parents that don't discipline their children that's something else. That's completely wrong and the child will not learn. It annoys me but I will not suggest anything to the parent because it's not my child.

Answer 7

I think that you can't rule it out completely - but only when other forms of discipline aren't working or their behavior is that dangerous or extreme to warrant a spanking. As far as public spanking - there's not a lot you can do without having childless people threaten you.

Answer 8

well i don't spank my niece, she adores me, but I was at target yesterday and I saw 2 sisters maybe in their early 30s and they had 3 kids (2 girls and a boy) one girl said nothing but the other to cried so loud, I can still here it! Anyways, one of the ladies said that she was going to leave the crying girl in Target and then said she's going straight to bed when they get home. To the boy she told him (under her breath) that she was and I quote "I'm going to hit you like hell in the car!" now that I tell ya, honey, is just plaint wrong and being a horrible parent. And that's coming from a 10 year old. That's all i needed to say. :) thank you

Answer 9

Spanking, not ABUSE, works. When I was young, and everyone I know was young, we were all spanked and I gotta tell ya, there wasn't near the problems with kids then as there are now. I have rarely had to spank my two girls. They've just always been good. But those older boys of mine! WHEW! I probably should have done it more.

Answer 10

The bible says spare the rod and spoil the child, I see so many children in public sassing their parents, hitting and kicking their parents and just throwing tantrums, I saw one child destroying store merchandise and the parents hiding it and talking about not knowing how to deal with this child, it was so disgusting to see these parents groveling to their child to behave,I think spanking is good for our children and there is a right way and a wrong way to spank.What has our world come to when our children tell us what to do and when to do.

Answer 11

Spank.


I feel that people do not spank, or otherwise discipline, their children nearly enough. Sometimes kids need a good swat on the @ss. Even in public.