I need help my husband abandoned my house almost a month ago, I can't deal with the depression he left without saying anything he hasn't given any child support or a single phone call, he went out of my house saying he was fed up wih everything but to be honest since our baby was born he has been trying to leave. Now he did it he said he loved me and he didn't want the divorce but he came 10 days ago and picked up everything he had here. He didn't even gave me the chance to talk to him I'm sure he's living with another woman. He was always a good man but now I don't know what to think of him I don't sue him because I like his mum she has been talking to me and sending money, she was upset with him at the start but I think he has told her lies about me... I think he got upset because we couldn't go out because I was concentration on the baby..what am I supposed to do? just go out and leave him?...I'm very depressed because I think that he could be sleeping with somebody else .
2007-05-20 07:04:37 · 37 answers · asked by Nancy L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just move on with your life, if he is sleeping with someone else he does not deserve you. Good luck!! Try to get out some friends or family!
2007-05-20 07:08:31 · answer #1 · answered by riettebotha2 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
As in Most cases the woman is left holding the baby
i am so sorry for what you are going through
But now it is time to start being strong
what kind of man is that anyway to walk away like that
YOU can do better it is better to live alone with your baby than have a spineless man like that around
pick your self out
sort out the money worries 1st of all
if you don't work get some help get down and sort out some benefits
then start to look after your baby and your self by getting to some baby clubs like the 1 o'clock club etc make friends start to live
what if he is sleeping about it is best you are not sleeping with him don't you think in case he brings you home something like a STD or worse
if he wants to go sleeping about he is not worth caring about because he is not caring for you when he is with other girls {if he is doing that}
I do hope you look forward instead of backwards
live for you and your baby Hun
that man is not worth it fight for you and your kid
you are worth more than being treated like how that man would treat you
i wish you luck
Respect
shaz
2007-05-20 21:04:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will take you at your word when you say,
" I think he got upset because we couldn't go out because I was concentration on the baby."
When you have a baby you have to be both a MOTHER and a WIFE.
Was your husband getting affection and attention from you when you were pregnant? Was your husband getting affection and attention from you AFTER the baby was born?
If the answer to these questions is NO. Then to him you were rejecting him. Each rejection hurt him and gave him pain. He bottled up that pain and he let it explode into a rage to find a woman that would give him affection... He probably still loves you but your rejections have hurt him too much for him to make amends. Women need to realize that MOST men are VERY PRIMITIVE in their emotions. A typical 100lb woman can turn a 300lb muscle man into a basket case in the realm of emotions. Men are cavemen. You have to be very observant when they go into their emotional cave. And draw them out gently. He PROBABLY is with another woman.....and if you were not being a wife to him...then I don't blame him....
The foundation of the family is the husband and wife.
Kids are of SECOND importance! If you were failing to be a WIFE, then I sympathize with your husband. He needed a woman's touch that he was not getting from you. Your husband is at fault NOT for being MORE DEMANDING with his needs. Instead he took the passive-aggro route. You deserve child support.....if you are getting it from his mother then that is fine. If she stops paying, then hubby needs to pay up.
2007-05-20 08:16:51 · answer #3 · answered by Felix 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he didn't just abandon your house, he abandoned you and your child...that says something about what kind of man he is....he said he's fed up....that's complete bull... he wanted a good excuse to bail out and is placing the blame on you for them reasons, if you feel that he's with another woman then your probably right, but what ever he's doing....he's blaming you for the way he feels, when all along he was planning his bail out, he has not supported you, he has not been near you, he has not explained himself to you.... what kind of man does that to his family? also he has the audacity to tell you that he does not want a divorce, so what does he expect you to do?...your depressed, your alone, you have no support, i don't think he has an inkling about what damage he's doing to you....honey, i think you should get them papers drawn up because this man does not deserve you....no decent man would just walk out on his family and leave them in the lurch like that, get onto the CSA and get what he owes your child, then see a doctor about your depression, your child needs you so you have to stay strong...i am really sorry that this has happened to you and i hope that you can find peace of mind....bless you....x
by the way, his mum knows him best of all and i don't think she is going to take his side....she will know if he is lying, it is lovely of her to send you money, but it's not her responsibility...it should be your husband providing for you, not her.....take care...x
2007-05-20 07:37:13 · answer #4 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you think another lady is involved I suggest getting a divorce. Once a cheater always a cheater-and remember if he just picked everything up and moved intogether with a woman, they knew each other long before that date
as for the other I would pursue child support from him, his mom may be helping out but its not her responsiblity really. I suggest you get the divorce and get everything straightened out with yourself aka dont be an emotional wreck-give yourself some grieving time because yes it does
hurt when you feel abandoned esp by someone you trusted
after that go for it-and remember DON"T LET HIM COME BACK
2007-05-20 07:11:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the marriage is over, it takes two to make a marriage.
It is time to consult a divorce lawyer, make plans for you and the baby's life without him. Request the court to order separate maintenance until the divorce is final.
It would be wise also, to get your name off of all joint checking accounts(take money out for you and the child).
It is wise to make a plan on how you will met bills. Hey, you may need to a smaller place which you can afford.
For the depression, consider seeking help of a physician, you may need to be on anti-depressive meds for a while.
2007-05-20 07:23:32 · answer #6 · answered by oldcorps1947 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry on your difficulty. i become married for 13 years, had 2 little ones, and three effectual agencies. He deserted all individuals with no longer a penny. He were given administration of each and everything by the court docket device. He ran each and every of the agencies out. The court docket device does no longer artwork for women people. He does no longer pay court docket ordered toddler help and does no longer help by any ability. i might want to spend tens of 1000's of greenbacks in attorneys expenditures to do not overlook that he does no longer care, or might want to maintain the money, and grant for my little ones. I have chosen the latter. we are thriving after six years of abandonment. you'll locate your way. do no longer position self assurance in him. If he has damage you this undesirable in many years; you do not recognize of what's going to go back!!! adult men like this are disgusting and could by no ability honor their dedication. allow it pass. stay, like I do, with fulfillment because the astounding revenge! Be all you'd be with out him!!! pass. Now!
2016-10-18 09:07:25 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what to say cause I am in the same situation. My wife of 13 years is currently having another realtionship with a married man, and alot of times..I wanted to just get up and leave cause it's depressing just being here......but, we are supposed to divorce eventually...whenever we get the money, but for now...I'm stuck here. So...instead of being depressed, maybe find a light at the end of the tunnel, and start new......pick up the pieces and move on....I mean, after all, it's his loss right? There is someone much deserving of you, so....take time for yourself and good luck through it all.
2007-05-20 07:09:52 · answer #8 · answered by heymrdj1 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Darlin' Nancy,
How can you "just go out and leave him" when he has already left you? What you must do now is find an attorney and file for a divorce. You must have child support. You must have alimony until you can get yourself ready to find and keep a job. Go back to school and give yourself wider options than a secretarial position. Don't forget that his leaving left the door open for YOU.
Don't sit there, girl, get busy... life is not going to wait. Keep your chin up, don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself, it won't get you where you want to be. Smile, look for things to help you smile, pray without ceasing and love your baby. You have much to do, and it CAN be fun. Blessings to you, sweetie!!
2007-05-20 07:21:25 · answer #9 · answered by Peanut 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. First of all you married a complete W*n*er! usually I try to look at the other persons perspective, but I really don't care what his reasons are, because they couldn't possibly make up for what he is doing to you, and you kid(s).
There is no easy way to get over him or the life you had planned with each other, but you have to.
I hope your a strong woman with self respect, because this guy sounds like he might be back, I hope you show him the door.... with a back handed slap.
Good luck
2007-05-20 08:02:22 · answer #10 · answered by kosslyn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did know a woman who continued her relationship with her daughter-in-law and abandoned her son when they split. Your mother-in-law has ties to her grandchild. You may want to investigate if she would be willing to continue that relationship after the divorce is final.
The biggest cause of divorce is that the wrong people got married to each other in the first place.
In the meantime, ask around for the meanest, toughest divorce lawyer that you can find. You can negotiate the fee.
2007-05-20 08:29:55 · answer #11 · answered by Daniel H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋