I'm in love with this girl, but she is seeing someone else. I'm okay with this, but I just don't want to be her friend. She continues to try to talk to me when she sees me at work. I have been trying to ignore her, and I thought she got the hint the other day, but then she called me yesterday to go out for drinks with a few friends from work. I have tried to be rude and avoid her but she continues to try to be my friend. It's impossible for me to only want a friendship therefore I just avoid her. What do I do?
2007-05-20 06:27:36 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
And yet again after I turned her down for drinks and have shown absolutely no desire to go, she stopped me in the hallway today to ask me again what a good time for me to go for drinks would be. Wouldn't most people just give up on me by now? And I'm pretty sure she knows i like her alot
2007-05-20 06:28:39 · update #1
be honest with her and quit acting like a jerk
2007-05-20 06:30:12 · answer #1 · answered by RUSSELLL 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is the type of person that likes to make sure everyone is friends at work and wants to include you. You say you are in love with her, well acting this way will certainly not get her attention in a good way. You should go for drinks with the group and be nice. I don't understand why you are being rude to her when you say you "love" her? You sound pretty controlling and should lighten up if you want any type of chance with this girl. Try being nice and see how far that gets you. Being rude is never a good idea.
2007-05-20 13:31:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good Lord! What do you think being rude to someone you like will accomplish? Showing her your best side? Listen up! You need to learn about personal relationships. You need to learn about being honest with people. You need to learn about being honest with your emotions. If someone is trying to be your friend, you can either roll with it and see where it goes and hope for the best, or you can honestly tell her you don't want to see her on a platonic basis, and again, hope for the best. The best relationships start out as friendship. Maybe she is interested in you but wants to get to know you better. If you cut her off, you're cutting off your chance of growing this relationship into something else. But, if your only goal in life is to avoid pain to yourself, just hide your heart and run away. Take your pick.
2007-05-20 13:34:53 · answer #3 · answered by Caper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this girl has feelins 4 u otherwise y wud she b tryin so hard 2 get u 2 go 4 a drink. But the fact that ur holdin bac becoz she has a boyfriend is exactly the rite thing 2 do. I think u shud tel this girl the way u feel bout her. She mayb feels ur not interested as u keep makin excuses not 2 go with her 4 a drink but little does she no!! go 4 it randy!!
2007-05-20 13:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is be honest. Tell her that you can't be her friend without wanting something more out of it. She's trying to understand why you react the way you do. Sometimes laying it out there on the table is easiest for us all. Ever think that maybe she's interested in you? Why else would she continue to make the effort?
2007-05-20 13:39:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off youre in lust or infatuated with the idea of her, you truly cannot be in love with someone unless they love you back- love takes two. You cannot be in it on your own.
you can love something like music or a cat etc. but you have to be able to share things witheachother to be in love. deep good things like feelings and if you were in love then you would know what to do.
but since we are all human and this **** is hard and emotions screw with you and make things unclear you need some help. I say go out for drinks - tell her how you feel but be cool about it be yourself don't get all sloppy drunk and do it but be honest and open see what happens and you'll feel better for getting it off your chest.
who knows what the outcome could be, maybe she has feelings for you and shes stuck as well, she could be on answers asking the question " im going out with this guy but I really like someone I work with and he's ignoring me what should I do? "
I say go for it who knows what will happen
good luck mate!!
2007-05-20 13:35:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's with someone else right? You need to be honest with her. You find it uncomfortable going out with her because you want to be more than friends. Besides seeing her on the side if you guys decided to do- that would be complicated and messy. Infidelity on any scale is no good foundation for a relationship.
2007-05-20 13:32:47 · answer #7 · answered by Valdavia M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes be very straight with her. Tell her you are interested in way more then friendship. And since she has a boyfriend, and you are not willing to settle for friendship alone to leave you alone. Otherwise if she persists tell her to drop the guy she is with. Because you are not willing to share any woman. I think she is trying to have the boyfriend and you to. Don't settle for less then what you deserve. If she has any interest in you as a man. Tell her she has to end it with the other guy. Until then tell her you are not going to hang out with her. Listen you tried to respect she has someone. The one not respecting is her. Don't be any ones fool.
2007-05-20 13:49:21 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a tough one. Well, I hate to go against you, but personally, I think you should be her friend. In many relationships, things take time. You should become her friend. If you want her to like you, you've got to be kind to her. Even though she's with someone else, she obviously likes your company if she keeps asking you to hang with her, and she likes your attention. Just be kind to her... you never know where things could go... :)
2007-05-20 13:31:50 · answer #9 · answered by Koochi Baby 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she likes you a lot too! Just ask her point blank" Aren't you seeing......?" And see what her reaction is..If she says they are just friends now..Well, take it from there..If she says yes, that she is still seeing him.Just tell her that you really like her, but you don't want to create a problem with her and her boyfriend..and leave it at that..Good luck!
2007-05-20 13:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by howdoilvthee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you crazy? this passive-aggressive nonsense it ridiculous!
be honest w/her - tell her that you value her friendship, but that, at the moment, her friendship is not enough for you and that you need time to get over certain feelings before you can be available to her as a friend -
she probably thinks you hate her or are mad at her
2007-05-20 13:34:27 · answer #11 · answered by Judi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋