im a new mother, my daghter's father is abusive, and i dont trust him! everytime i call him, hes on the phone with another female and rushes me off the phone just to talk on the phone with this ceratin female. his name is not on the birth certificate and he wants to get custody of her and im scared. i never put him on their because during my pregnancy he didnt help me and he wasnt their during the delivery. i took him to child support. and im waiting but meanwhile, he refuses to send he money for expenses and necessasties. he smokes(marijuana) and drinks. what do i do? i need help im desperately, he doenst have a stable home his grandfather is a crackhead and his mother is menatally sick. i dont want him to see her nor touch her i hate him hes not worth it he doesnt even make a scarifice to see her or nothing.
2007-05-20 05:16:49 · 11 answers · asked by mother in damsel in distress 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Before he can get custody he would have to establish paternity. You are probablly already doing this if you have started the paperwork for child support. He sounds like a major flake, I cant see him filling out a huge packet of paperwork, then filing with the court and then going to all the court dates. He is probablly just talking out of his butt. If you dont think he is, go to you community legal aide and they can represent you with no fee. I would document EVERYTHING that the jerk does and keep that info. handy just in case.
Good luck to you.
2007-05-20 05:30:58 · answer #1 · answered by ladybug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but by filing for child support it won't matter if he's on the birth certificate if he agrees to pay then he will legally be viewed as the father in the courts eyes since the paperwork you willed out required that you indicate how sure you are that he's the father. If he is on drugs bring that up in court and they will probably drug test him. Also if he is physically abusive document it. The fact that he rushes you off the phone won't be held against him. If you arent together he is under no obligation to sit and talk to you on the phone or not talk to other women. Basically unless you have really good proof that he can't care for the child he will at least get visitation.
2007-05-20 12:34:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to someone who can legally help you. Legal Aid or Friend of the Court?
First if you are going to legal request that he pays child support, then he has to be identified as the father. So you may have stepped into a vipers den by taking him for child support. You can't have it both ways. Not identified as the father on the birth certificate but requesting he pay child support.
If you don't want him to have contact with your baby you should have just sucked it up and not requested the child support.
You need to document, keep a journal, of any threats by him. Any evidence you have that he uses marijuana, what evidence do you have of his father's drug use etc. For the protection of your baby, to use in court if it comes tot that.
Now that you have gotten yourself into this mess. Learn from it. Quite hanging around with people with such bad habits and influences. Better yourself. Finish school or go back to school and get a degree and make a meaningful life for you and your baby. And stop having sex. Save it for marriage. If you had done that already, you would have all these problems.
2007-05-20 12:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry about it! He is not on the birth certificate therefor blood tests would need to be done and he would have to pay for it.
The other female is not even in the equation. OMG you took him in for child support?? Stupid move! On this alone he might just get to have visitation!! Doesn't matter if he is the worst monster in the world! If he is proved to be the father he gets visitation! I doubt any kind of custody but visitation yes! He may have to have it supervised....
Nothing else matters if you have taken him to court for child support! Been there done it! Biggest mistake was the child support......
If he is such a monster why did you make a baby with him??
2007-05-20 15:14:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing first...if he is soooo bad, what the hell did you sleep with him for???
Second, if he is soooo bad, then there is probably no chance a Court will permit him to have Custody.
The Courts will say he has to pay but that may not do any good. He could end up being 1 of the Millions of Deadbeat dads in the World.
Good Luck.....and don't have sex with bad people!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-05-20 12:24:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first mistake is having a baby by this man/in order to get partial custody he has to file in court/since name is not on paper/a dna will be needed/unless u admit he is the father of this child/with what u say and after investigation he will not get any custody hopefully/laws r tricky/god forbid he was granted visitation if not partial custody under no circumstanse let him alone with child/good luck
2007-05-20 12:25:16 · answer #6 · answered by hotdogsarefree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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Good luck
2007-05-24 06:36:47 · answer #7 · answered by niomi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's this terrible then I wouldn't worry. If you feel your child would be in danger if she is with him then you don't have to let him see her. If he has a problem with that then he can try and take you to court. Don't be scared or worried it would be hard to prove your case. If you do let her go with him then you could get in trouble for allowing her to be put in harms way.
2007-05-20 12:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by ravensrose21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he wants your Daughter to spite you. Gather as much "dirt" on him as you can. Document it all. gather whatever solid proof you can of his illegal exploits and talk to a lawyer. It doesn't sound like a wholesome place to be for your daughter and armed with this kind of damaging evidence, there's no way any sane Judge would allow custody to that clown. Good luck to you and your daughter.
2007-05-20 12:22:30 · answer #9 · answered by Pontius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to go ahead and try, he needs to prove maternity first, and that could tale months, then prove you to be unfit which is very very hard, judges very rarely take a baby from its mother , meantime take a parenting class, and get in touch with a legal aide organization, go to social services and tell them he has been threatening, and go to the police and get a restraining order
2007-05-20 12:56:39 · answer #10 · answered by melissa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋