I have been with my wife for three years now. Our marrage has been filled with alot of stress. We were presured by my parents to get married and then moved to another state 2 weeks later. ther has been extreme finacal problems in the last 2 years and we just moved again to try to help are finacal situaion. After beening back in az my wife asked if see could hook up with some old friends and I said sure. Well old friends turned into going to the bar 3 night a week. Then I found a naked pic of a guy on her phone and confunted her about it. She toke it as i accussed her of cheating. She then told my she was very unhappy and that I was not giving her what she needed emotionaly. I asked her to go to marrage couseling but she said the problem is with me and that I need to fix me first. She is still going out 3 times a weekand has been online talking to about 30 guys and some of the talk is pretty nasty. We also have a 5 year old daughter from her first marrage. what shold i do. i do love her
2007-05-20 04:28:22 · 8 answers · asked by redsixaz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, you found a pic of a naked guy on her phone and she's accusing you of being untrusting?!?!?! Obviously she feels that being single is what she wants. And as for counseling, you both need to go, you can't just go and fix 'you'. You both need to get out what's bothering you to someone who's trained in that field to determine what's wrong, and if she doesn't want to go along with it then she obviously thinks she knows what she wants. And you 2 don't have a child together (am I correct?) so you don't have to worry about that. I know you love her but do you really want to put all this on you? If she doesn't love you and doesn't want to be with you then maybe you 2 should have your own space. Give her time to decide what she really wants. And hopefully, when that time comes, you'll be able to make her feel the way you feel and show her what it's like...I'd just tell her "Fine, you want the single life? It's yours...And don't come crying to me when you find out it's not what you really wanted." Maybe a little tough love will help you out. Good luck though. And I hope that if you decide to give her her space that you have somewhere that you can go. Good luck =)
2007-05-20 05:00:15 · answer #1 · answered by Lissa D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do love her, she's your wife, but you should also love yourself. You guys are still in an early stages of marriage where anything can happen. But, I feel there is still hope. It sounds like there's obstacles;" for better or for worse" is what God says. She sounds like she's going through a rebellious stage as a wife, she's sounds boared with going through the ups and downs that the marriage is encountering but I think you should pray to God for help. Everyone can give you all the advice you want to hear but prayer is truly the best answer. But I do believe communication is also the key. Find out what it is your doing to make her feel emotionally unhappy then try working towards the problem. It just sounds like there's still hope for the two of you, just pray and I'm guaranteed you'll see a change. Be the better person.
Ms.Sasha
2007-05-20 12:51:28 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Sasha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
American Heritage® Dictionary: Description of hope
INTRANSITIVE VERB: 1. To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.
There's always hope!
But we don't always hope for what might be the best thing . . .
Seems your marriage has been rocky from the start. And if she is taking nude pictures and online chatting then it's not "emotional" fulfillment she is looking for!
Forget her right now and focus on you. Are you really happy? Do you truly love her or believe you are suppose to love her because you're married?
I was smacked in the face 16 months ago by someone I truly loved (or thought I did) for 19 years and he left. No warning, just he wanted a new life. I thougth I had to do anything to get him back. But to my surprise after counseling and finding out the true him, I didn't want him back. I was hurt, confused and thought my life was worthless. I was so wrong. I have found someone who is 10 times the man he was. My life has changed drastically and I have lost so many material things.
But . . .I am happier than I ever was the 19 years.
So when you hope . . .make it for happiness and a good life for you!
2007-05-20 12:12:26 · answer #3 · answered by justme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your wife. Find out if she wants to work on the marriage or if she wants out. She can't lead a double life and you don't deserve this. Sounds like she's escaping. She not being fair to you or to herself and doesn't respect you and the marriage if she's doing this. Let her know that it's either work on the marriage and stop doing whatever she's doing with these guys or it's over. As simple as that.
2007-05-20 12:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by Bengal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start the counseling yourself and show her youre serious about saving your marriage. As the counseling progresses then slowly bring her into it and hopefully things will work out. But both of you must want the same outcome and willing to do whatever it takes to save your marriage or it wont work. Good luck
2007-05-20 11:35:50 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is well, I don't know her personally or you but she sounds like a *****. Have you've been doing anything? If she says you need to be fixed, well then she doesn't appreciate that you care about her. I don't think there's hope not unless you let her cheat on you.
2007-05-20 11:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by fun fun fun .... you know the rest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you already have separate lives may be time to move on.Get some help for yourself she sound like she already cheated if not physically then emotionally time to move on.
2007-05-20 11:41:48 · answer #7 · answered by answerit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is obviously done with the relationship quit while you are ahead and don't have a child together!!
2007-05-20 11:41:24 · answer #8 · answered by malanina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋