Consensual sex?

Question

This is what a guy wrote about sex and alcohol.
"It is not rape if something you willingly do when you are drunk is not something you would do if you were sober."
Do you all agree ? Or do you think it is rape if it turns out the girl regrets having had sex with the guy when she sobers up and wouldnt have given consent sober ? (Before you all start Iam not taking about a girl that is asleep/passed out etc., just drunk).

The Queen LOL you gotta be kidding. The guy pays for the alcohol she willingly drinks has sex and in return he gets a rape charge. You gotta be kidding.

Answer 1

If he buys the alcohol intending to get her drunk...
Or if she passes out... Sex with an incapacitated partner is not sex, it's rape. She can't legally drive, any legal documents would be voided if she signed them drunk... Why would the sex be any different?
He took advantage... It's rape. He's not man enough to get a sober woman, he's a rapist.

**If you're not man enough to have a woman sober, you really shouldn't date at all.

Answer 2

Interesting question. The keys here are
1. does the decider have a scientifically trained defining mind or something less?
2. the state of that mind when it made a decision
3. how it got to be that way
4. the nature of the action undertaken
5. how fully informed the consent was if given
6. what regulations say about the rights of the decider and the responsibilities of both deciders in a sexual consent

All this boils down to a single question:
Was the female in a consent that led to sex, entitled under legal protections to make such a decision, able to make it with full information and by volition?This leads to two different situations.
1. If she was so entitled by age, mental state, experiential readiness and disclosure of full-enough information, and she decided to have sex--that's consent.
1A. Lacking any one of these elements, the consent obtained was illegally gained and she's entitled to change her mind.
2. If the additional element of inebriation was involved, the question is was that state volitionally entered by the female without coercion, fraud, force,breach of contract, illicit blackmail or property damage being used to persuade or influence her decision? If she decided to "get drunk" and did so, then whatever she did in that state
by consent is consensual.
2A. If the additional element involved any force, fraud or coercion, the consent was illegally obtained and not binding--even if all the male in the case did is say,m "Have another", knowing that the alcohol would warp, change or unduly influence the female's capacity to make a fully-informed judgment.
This sort of question does not go to the motives of the two parties involved; it goes to the motives acted upon by the two parties during the part of the res gestae leading up to the act in question.
Changing one's mind after the fact still directs both participants and authorities back to the facts of what both persons wanted, thought, felt and did in the period in question first and foremost.
Neither regret, prohibitory sexual attitudes, pseudo-religious, puritanic nor licentious attitudes have any legal weight. We need to look at normative motives, preliminary actions and volitionally committed acts here.

As a constitutional theorist, I am gravely concerned about the rights of both parties in these cases.
And the misuse pseudo-religious extremists have been making of accusations against the males in the case and the females, the one group on the grounds of unprovable negative assertions and the other group on the grounds of unprovable negative value judgments.

Answer 3

I think that twisting morning-after regret into rape is incredibly wrong. I seriously doubt that a woman raped by a stranger at gunpoint would say that her experience at all resembles the loosest definitions of "date rape", such as what you have presented. Women, for their part, should not let themselves become intoxicated, and then allow themselves to be alone, at night, in a room with a guy who is interested in sleeping with them. Men, for their part, must navigate the mysterious situation of dating a woman, having her willingly come back to his place and sit on his bed, happily kiss him and do other things, and then, in the morning, she may or may not suddenly decide she's been raped. Rape is not a retrospective diagnosis. You know you are being raped AT THE TIME.

If men are behaving like cads at being pushy about it, that's clearly wrong. That's different than holding a knife to your throat, and to call both of them the same is insulting to women's intelligence. (Yet that doesn't stop other women from inflating rape statistics to include a case of very bad manners or poor judgment with the very real cases of rape - whether by stranger or by acquaintance.)

Perhaps people need to re-evaluate the wisdom of taking mind-altering substances while in the company of people that they don't trust. I have never been "date-raped", but then, I don't drink with strange men I barely know. Perhaps sleeping with strangers always carries some risk of regret.

Again, real rape can be by anyone, "date" or otherwise, but it involves a woman clearly objecting to the situation, and the use of force or threats of force. It does not involve a guy who failed to have her sign a consent form, or who failed to ask, "Would you care to have sex with me tonight? You ARE making out with me, right? Yes or No then, to the sex?"

Answer 4

i think people must be accountable for their actions while drunk, just like the driver might not, when sober, think they would ever drive drunk, but then the drink alters their decision,,,,, as to the partners responsibility, if they think the person is too impaired, they should pass ,, just as you wouldnt let someone get behind the wheel of a car,
also, often both parties are drunk,
so no, just based on a person being drunk, to me would not be rape

Answer 5

I agree. Drunk sex isn't rape unless someone actually says no or something to that effect. I think it is wrong when people get others drunk so they can have sex with them, but I wouldn't call it rape either, because nobody is forcing them to drink.

Answer 6

NO THIS IS NOT RAPE,
Rape is when someone says NO. Because someone gets drunk and becomes loose, doesnt mean a man should be punished for her being a pig that cant hold her liquor. So just because a woman regrets it a man should go to jail??? This is a dumb question. I am for a man going to jail for life if he actually violated a woman, but if you spread your legs willingly even frunk, then its you who are the problem not the man......

Answer 7

If she is drunk and has sex then it's not rape. People have these regrets all the time that's life you know your drinking to get buzzed or drunk so you know bad things can happen out of this.

Answer 8

He is right.

Just because you are drunk does not make it rape.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=444804&in_page_id=1770&ct=5
"It's not always rape if a woman is drunk, says judge"
"A woman cannot claim rape just because she was drunk, a top judge declared yesterday."

"They quashed the conviction of software engineer Benjamin Bree, 25, jailed for five years in December after a drunken evening with a 19-year-old student."

"She said her next memory was waking up to find Mr Bree having sex with her. She told the jury her memory was "very patchy" and I knew I didn't want this but I didn't know how to go about stopping it"."

"Mr Bree told the court she had given her consent and "seemed keen"."

"The judge said it would not be right to lay down rules - "some kind of grid system" - that say a woman who has reached a set level of drunkenness is incapable of consent."

Answer 9

A difficult situation to arrive at any definite conclusions! It seems to be incorrect to infer that there is lack of sobriety in the given situation, for without its presence there cannot be any action from either side, and when one has acted though in a state of drunkenness and the other in the same or nearly the same state reacts or responds, there is a degree of consent and sobriety, however otherwise it might be interpreted in a court of law!

Answer 10

If a girl is drunk, awake and agrees to sex, it is not rape. You have to say "no" for it to be rape. Just because she wishes she hadn't done it is not cause for pressing charges. She made bad choices and has to live with that. Hopefully she learns from this.

Answer 11

You have got to be joking? hell no it ain't rape. A girl can't blame a guy when she gets sloppy drunk and uses bad judgment. That is on you, or whatever girl you are talking about. What an annoying question. Take some responsibility for your behavior. There are girls who truly get raped and girls like you just confuse the issue and make it harder on girls who have truly been violated. Grow up......Or tell the boy who wrote that paper so he could get in some feminist broad's pants to grow up.