Is there any way to assess objectively whether you're ugly?

Question

I ask because I've found that no woman has ever accepted to go out in a date with me, and that no one has ever wanted to be my friend.

Overall, although I'm sure I must have character flaws (like most people), I'd say I fall within the range called "normal" in my behaviour.

I'm educated, reasonably polite, proficient in several languages, have a good job (although quite isolating) BUT:

a) I'm very small: 5'4", and weight only 120 lbs.

b) I'm a multiracial person who doesn't look like anyone around.

Since there are no people similar to me anywhere, I find it very hard to be objective and say whether I'm ugly or just different.

Is the evidence (lack of dates and lack of friends) enough to conclude that I am, indeed, quite ugly?

I'm 38, almost 39, by the way.

Answer 1

no, there is no way to assess this objectively. everything about looks is subjective. "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," so someone who is attractive in one person's eyes may be ugly in someone else's eyes. the best thing is to try to be a good person and have other things like a good personality and sense of humor to help people like you. good friends do not pick their friends based on looks, so i don't think this is the problem. maybe you are very shy and need to seek out other people to increase your # of dates and friends. you can do it!!

Answer 2

You are not ugly. You may be having difficulty getting women to go out with you because of they way you approach them. Since you don't say anything about that, it's hard to know. If you feel comfortable enough, you may want to ask some of these women if you've done anything wrong or why they don't want to go out with you.

You say no one has ever wanted to be your friend. That sounds like a lack of confidence. There are probably people who talk to you daily - co-workers, etc. If there is one person you feel comfortable enough asking, see if you can get some feedback about what you may be doing that is turning people off. Are you being too aggressive or too needy?

It's hard to get to know people. A good way is ask them about themselves. At first, keep the questions general so they don't feel like you're getting too personal. Maybe think about joining a social group of some kind where you can meet people with similar interests. Just keep at it. There is a wonderful woman out there looking for you.

Answer 3

You just lack confidence. Get out there, forget your crazy ideas and find a girl.

Answer 4

very hard to answer this as you have some kind of barrier stopping you from being who you really want to be. you sound sweet to me, a little unsure of yourself maybe but cute all the same

Answer 5

all things r bright and beautiful only you need the eyes of a lover and beholder.