2007-05-19 23:13:59 · 37 answers · asked by Coo-ee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not unless you like kids.
2007-05-19 23:16:07 · answer #1 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it wise? No. You may be the greatest woman on earth, but his kids will probably hate you. He will always be pulled in two directions. He may not want more kids (already paying for four). The ex wife will be a part of your life until the youngest of the four is grown - and beyond that as well. Your weekends will be consumed by soccer, baseball, basketball,science fairs, etc. Although, you may be too uncomfortable around the ex to attend any of these things, so your husband will go alone. Why not find someone who hasn't already made a family? Don't you want someone to build a family with you - without all the extra baggage?
2007-05-20 06:55:59 · answer #2 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may like the guy and he may well like you,but think about it.He is the one to gain most. A replacement mum for his kids,a partner for himself,to do all the women's things around the house.Do you want kids of your own?Do you think he will want more to add to the four.If you do have more kids will you be able to manage so many. It will be a full time job.Do you have a career? Will you have to give it up?OK it might work out fine. It depends a lot on the pair of you as individuals. He may be a guy that gives you unconditional support and help with the kids and housework,but there aren't that many really nice guys about.Think about it carefully. Talk to him to make sure what his plans for the future are. What are your plans.Can both your wishes be achieved together?I wish you luck in whatever you choose.
2007-05-19 23:43:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking this question then it means you have some doubts.
My advice to you is do not marry him yet - go out with the guy for a year or two.See how you cope with the presence of kids in your relationship while you are unmarried.
An alternative would be to move in with him and get a feel of what your life would be like as a married woman.
If it feels right and you can cope with the pressures then go ahead and marry him.
If after one or two years of going out/living together you are still unsure ,then do not do it - marry only if your heart and mind and body and soul are 150% telling you its the right thing to do.
2007-05-20 00:10:34 · answer #4 · answered by dawgz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age doesn't matter but you better have spent a lot of time with his kids and decided that you don't want to change anything about them. Also by default they are 5 to 1 and they won't be old kids they will be troubled teens so unless you are marrying into the Waltons (that is in Mountain not as in Wallmart) I would be very very careful.
2007-05-20 03:37:21 · answer #5 · answered by pwwatson8888 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like a bad bargain, ultimately though it's up to you. You have to take into account how much you like kids, they are a huge responsibility, as well as how much in love you are. Also would you be acting as a 'mum'. Is he good at looking after his kids or don't they play a huge part in his life. Taking on four kids as a mum would be a huge thing for an inexperienced 25 year old. Good luck to you anyway.
2007-05-19 23:22:30 · answer #6 · answered by as 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. you're still considered young and why u wanna get tied down by a relationship that is like that... think about it carefully.. there will be lots of problems u will have to face in future. E.g. will the kids accept you? but ultimately.. its your decision.. ask youself how much u love him and will that love give u the strength to go through all the problems you will face in future.. if the answer is yes.. den perhaps u can give it a try.. good luck!
2007-05-19 23:21:20 · answer #7 · answered by audrey c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very bad move. Being a step mum to 4 kids is a hell of a responsibility and not much fun. I have heard that the first 20 years are the worst!
You're very young. You will meet a young guy with no baggage with whom you can start your own family.
2007-05-23 11:26:30 · answer #8 · answered by Fanshawe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I have difficult questions to answer , I find it helps to write down the question / problem and look at it on paper (or on the computer) and then make comments.
There is something magical about "seeing" the problem rather than just "thinking" of it.
Look at your question again : 4 kids + older guy.
Marriage is hard enough but 4 kids + older guy ?
4 kids + older guy = non starter
2007-05-19 23:41:11 · answer #9 · answered by traveller 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him & his kids then yes. It's a very serious decision & both of you should not take it lightly. It is not the age differense (9 yrs is not much) but & most importantly you have to think of the kids' feelings. You might consider living together for a while first, especially considering the fact that you have no children of your own to have at least an idea of the (possible) problems involved.
I wish you all the best! :))))
2007-05-19 23:42:53 · answer #10 · answered by marissa 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not wise. It's best to find a single guy without kids. This guy has too much financial responsibilities to these kids and you and your future kids will get the short end of the stick financially as well as emotioanally.
2007-05-19 23:43:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋