Bride keeps changing Wedding plans ...is this normal?

Question

My fiance keeps changing wedding plans, ie: location, time, reception, catering, now the formal attire.
What started as a small wedding with family has snowballed into a larger than planned event.
1. the location has change 4 times ...she says - price shopping.
2. The catering service has changed - better variety.
3. The time has changed to accomodate the future plans of others.
4. All this and more is so particular to her , then why when I ask her if I should wear suit or tux she says doesn't matter get a tux if you want, it will look nicer.
5. I get tux and my groomsmen follow my lead. Now she says she is changing her dress to a less formal one because two of her bridesmaids (sisters) do not like the way their gowns fit and they now want to wear a pantsuit/less formal wear. We argued now that I have tux and her side is casual after tellling me I need tux. Now she is pressed to find another dress. Am I marrying a scatterbrain? Is this normal? My opinion not matter

Answer 1

Dude, time to put your foot down, especially if you're not far from the wedding date... time for you to make some decisions to alleviate some of the insecurities she's having. For one, seems like she's taking everybody's considertation, advice and complaints except that of her future husband. If this is what things are gonna look like, then take this as a sign and get her attention. Right now is the time for you to step in, otherwise at the end it will not go anything close to what you wanted for it to be like. Talk to her right now and YOU finalize many of the things that need to be finalized at this point... I know you're trying to make her happy, but step in as the man of the relationship and make it work. Good luck.

Answer 2

I made several changes as I went along but didn't do things like this. You can price shop and all that without telling others this is what I'm going to do until you check with several places and then make a decision on each step.

My location was easy since we were getting married at the church where I was a member. I picked out what I wanted the girls to wear and found someone to make the dresses, then I told the guys what I wanted them to wear. Since I did all the decorating, that probably took more time and changes as I shopped various places to try and find what I wanted and needed but that didn't affect anyone else anymore than any of the other changes I made since nothing was said to anyone until I had it down pat.

Sounds like she should have gotten the book by Beverly Clark "Planning A Wedding To Remember" to help guide her and help her make decisions. I found that workbook when I first started planning my wedding and it made a big difference and helped me to stay organized. Sounds like she is just very unorganized in her approach to everything.

And yes, your opinion does matter and if she says not, she is selfish. The wedding is for both of you and even though the bride and her family usually plan the wedding and the groom plans the honeymoon, the groom should still have some say in the wedding if they want to voice an opinion.

Good luck... and I mean that ~ lol

Answer 3

Sounds like your fiance doesn't have anyone helping her make the choices. I believe, you need to get involved.
For instance 1) Outdoor weddings are FREE; 2) Catering is not brain surgery, 3) Time may be important because you do want people to show up, so better do it when they can, 4 and 5) ya got the tux, wear it along with all of your groomsmen.
Most importantly, wedding dresses are in stores all over the country, on the internet, in Goodwill, EVERYWHERE. "Pressed to find another dress?" Hardly.
Yeppers, you're about to marry a scatterbrained, disorganized woman. And, nope, it ain't normal. Bail, pal, bail!

Answer 4

I totally get where you're coming from. I got married about 10 months ago. It is totally normal for her to be acting this way, and no you're not marrying a scatterbrain. You have to remember this is the day she has been dreaming of her whole life. She wants it to be perfect. I was the same way planning my wedding, and my husband and I fought up until the our wedding day. Don't worry, she'll turn back into to Mrs. Perfect the minute you see her walking down the aisle:) Untill then, the best advice I can give is just try to be patient, and understand that this is very important to her. I know it's frustrating, but think about how much pressure she is feeling. You love her, so try to stay on her side, and understand that when she gets all crazy it's nothing personal. God Bless:)

Answer 5

She sure sounds scatterbrained doesn't she lol...it's pretty normal. It's a crazy time. I think many brides to be get caught up in the wedding when the marriage is actually more important. You should really be there helping with decisions. This is your wedding too. Your marriage too. Make her take a day off from wedding planning just to hang out and relax a little. Promise her that the next day you will both sit down and discuss all the details. Get in there with her and help make all these crazy decisions. Will she be making all the decisions alone in your marriage? Be her rational partner. Reassure her that it will be a perfect day no matter what happens. Your opinion does matter! Get her to settle down a little and explain how you're feeling. Best of luck to the both of you :)

Answer 6

Somewhat normal, I have seen a simple wedding snowball into a major expensive wedding. Wedding shops are great at marketing their add on products, showing more expensive flashy invitations first, then the simple less expensive ones. And when it gets right down to it, people going to the really don't give a "sh*t" about fancy cards or fancy dresses, flowers and such.
Reception music, and the vows are what impress people in attendance.

If you have not set a limit on what you will spend you are in trouble. Going into a marriage with a major debt from a wedding will create financial problems later on and financial problems are the number one cause for divorce.

Answer 7

Yes it's normal.

She has probably been dreaming about her wedding for a very long time. She now has one to plan and has her family and friends trying to tell her what she needs and what she wants. She's got a lot going on. Be supportive but don't be a door mat. Her sisters need to get over their dresses not being perfect--it's not about them, it's about the bride.

Take her out to dinner, just the two of you, and talk to her about this. Hold her hands and tell her that you want this day to be just as perfect as she does and that you will support her every step of the way. Then, ask her what SHE wants, not her family. Tell her that you want to be more involved.

Maybe you two could elope and then just have a reception later.

Answer 8

Yes. She's just nervous of getting everything perfect for the beautiful, once in a life time, wedding day. But u should have a sit-down, between you and her, serious talk about why is she acting like this and show understanding to her and that you love her and want things to go right to. She just needs comfort in the plans, because taking charge of weddings as a bride-to-be, is very stressful and sometimes hectic.

Answer 9

This is not normal. This is a woman who lacks organization and decision making abilities. I think you're right to be PO'd about now. But, you love her so just give her support and help the bridesmaids find something formal that looks good on them.

Answer 10

Now is the time to teach her my old "cide" lecture I used to give. Think of all of the words that end in "cide". Suicide. Patricide. Homicide. Matricide. Insecticide. You get the picture. Now ask her what all of these words have in common. Right, right, right. KILL. Tell her that making a decision means you kill the alternatives.

Tell her to make a decision and stick with it!

Sandy

P.S. To answer your question, yes it's normal...to a point. Perhaps she's nit-picking just a bit?