I am 19 and Pregnant.... My boyfriend is scared and so am I...?

Question

I need help... I got pregnant about 7 weeks ago from my boyfriend of 6 months.I got pregnant the first time we both had sex. I just dont know what to do. I am living with my aunt and uncle and my boyfriend is living with his best friend. I am scared and dont have a very supportive job right now. Its very hard for me to make any money. I want to be able to have money when my baby comes into this world. Please help... I need it desperatley!

*19 and scared*

Answer 1

Tell your Aunt, hopefully she'll be understanding and help you. There are programs out there to help, look some of them up on the internet. You and your boyfriend are going to have to grow up very fast, and it will be hard. But if you get support from friends and family, things will be ok. If you need to talk to someone who know firsthand what you are going through, My e-mail is [e-mail].

Answer 2

Oh hun, I know what it is like to be scared and pregnant. I'm 18 and newly married and this pregnancy was more planned then not and I have still been scared. And I know how it is to worry about finances. WIC is a great resource. DSHS can help with TANF and food stamps. Welfare to work will give you until your baby is 16 months to find a good job. You are still early in your pregnancy and can look for a new job that is more stable. Just be upfront and honest with your employer. Crisis Pregnancy centers really do give good help and you as well as your boyfriend can get counciling and help. If you are worried about needing people your age to talk to or wanting support from others go to your local hospital or your OB/GYN office or even a crisis pregnancy center and ask about their mommys group, mothers to mothers or other kinds of support groups that they may offer. You can also look into abortion and adoption like everyone else has mentioned. If you think you may want to keep the baby but after having it become to overwhelmed you may want to reconsider adoption, and I know some states have the 72 hour law that allows mothers to leave their child at a hospital or firestation no questions asked. Discuss all of your options with your boyfriend and decide what is right for the three of you. Only you and he know what is right. If you want someone to talk to feel free to IM me or send me an email. I've been there, still there actually.

Answer 3

Well, depending on your skill level and how determined you are, it is very possible for you to get a job to help support the baby, and if your boyfriend doesn't have one then he should start looking for work too. It sounds like you want to keep the baby, so just go to your aunt and uncle and explain the situation and you might be surprised at how supportive they will be, and since they are older they may be able to give you alot of helpful advice. You are not that far along so you do have alot of time to plan, but just make sure that every decision you make is in the best interest of yourself and most importantly your child. Just remember that nothing is impossible, no matter how hard it seems right now you can make it with the support of your family, friends and your childs father. Take one day at a time. I hope this helps.

Answer 4

There are a couple ways to approach this situation...
1. Abortion - you still have time as it is still considered a bunch of cells and as of yet does not have a conciousness... - but that dosen't sound like what you want to do.
2. It may be considering of the fact that you might want to have the child up for adoption, though this is a tough choice and I dont' think that the process is up to par with the care we shoudl be giving our children, at the state it sounds you are in it might be the best way to have the child while allowing it to possiably having a good quality of life.
3. If you are going to keep this child, and want to try to support it, make sure tha tyour aunt and uncle are ok with your decision on keeping it and are able to support you.... It may be possiabel for them to help out with your support of the child if nothing else to help with babysitting duties while you or your boyfriend is at work (when you have it).
For the time being, I'd look into getting someting part-time that has health benifits... Starbucks is a good choice if you have one, wall-mart is good as well. By the time you have your child your 90 days will be over and will be "allowed" to take maternity leave, but do it as short as possiable, also look into getting medical insurance through.
Once the baby is born, it is also important that you try to find something that can be worked alternatives (him day, you night, etc.) so that the baby can be watched by you two as much as possiable... You won't see much of him, but that is the sacrifice you will be making... If you have a local factory in your area, it may be worth for him to look into seeing if he can get into it (cheep entry labor) if he dosen't have a decent paying job.

I would really suggest that nomatter what your decision is, that you go to planned parenthood to discuss your options and medication... And once you have the child, get on birth control and please use a condom...

Answer 5

I dont know what entitlements you have in your country, but no govt would let you or your baby starve.
You need to take a deep breath, and think about you.
Its a very hard decision, but you must make a decision, before its made for you.
Firstly you should tell your aunty and uncle, then you and your bf must sit down and have a chat... this affects both you.
Make a decision that you can live with, and not one that is convenient for now. You can still study and work while being a mother, as Im sure many others will tell you.
You are not alone!

Answer 6

It is a tough situation. I just want to say this. Don't let ANYONE talk you into something you don't want to do. I had a friend who got pregnant at your age and her boyfriend talked her into having an abortion, and then left her right after. She really regretted it. If you feel that its the right thing to do, then thats ok. Just make sure your not doing it for your b/f, aunt and uncle, or friends. Do what your heart says is right for you, no matter what. You have tough decisions ahead of you. Be true to yourself. I suspect, that if you decided to keep the baby, your friends and family will support you.

Answer 7

Though money helps...especially with bills and such...It is more important to be a good parent and instill values!

I was married and we both had jobs when I became pregnant but money was still tight. Try to save as much as you can between now and when s/he arrives...Also check out lower cost methods of pre/post natal care like hiring a midwife. They are usually cheaper than a regular OB/Hospital birth, and have actually been proven to be a safer way to go. They usually take a PPO insurance or will take cash, and you can usually work out a payment plan that works for you. Appoints are an hour, most times, which is so much better than the 10 or 15 minutes that an OB will give you.

You will find the money, hang at home a bit more, and prepare food at home, look for things that are gently used or have a shower. You don't need the newest coolest stuff, just the safest. We went so overboard with our first... I didn't plan them but we ended up having 3 showers and so many clothes I don't think he hardly wore everything, I always passed things down to my friends...But the point I am trying to make is that we are planning #2 and we are going bare min. Everything else was just clutter, the cool gadgets that seemed useful that sat in the corner and were used once.

I recommend an all in 1 type bed/playpen
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2499202&cp=&pg=2&f=Taxonomy%2FTRUS%2F2255957&sr=1&origkw=play+pen&kw=playard&parentPage=search

a safe car seat and stroller,
http://www.toysrus.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=graco%20carrier&origkw=graco%20carrier&f=Taxonomy/TRUS/2255957&sr=1

And one of those Ellaroo type baby slings:
http://store.peppermint.com/ellaroo-wrap.html

And maybe a Moses basket...
http://www.toysrus.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=moses%20basket&origkw=moses%20basket&f=Taxonomy/TRUS/2255957&sr=1

...Those are pricey item but there are 3 or 4 items you can't live without!!!

All the food you'll need for close to the whole first year of his/her life comes in great containers, your boobs!!! It is always the right temp. You always have it with you; it contains nutrients that help keep the baby from getting sick!!! The benefits of breast-feeding far outweigh the expensive formula route... Best of all it is FREE!

Depending on where you are there are places you can usually get your hands on gear for free...Do some research into local birth resource centers near you!

Some really good books that you can get fairly cheap used at Amazon.com are...The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer, and Pregnancy Childbirth and the Newborn by Simkin, Whalley & Keppler...The "What to Expect" books are crap!!! DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY.

The real bottom line here is you can do it, even without much income...There will be sacrifices but ALL of them will be worth it! Fell free to email me if you need someone to chat with!

Answer 8

You both need to sit down and consider your options...

Termination - can you live with the decision (more so you than him as it's a child living inside of you)... I saw my twins heart beating at 6wks gestation.

Adoption - again could you live with the fact in 18yrs a person coming up and saying "your my mom".

Jumping into parenthood - not an easy job, rewards far outweigh the effort. But are you emotionally, physically & financially ready.

This is a joint decision for you both, only you can make the right decision for YOU (both of you). Good luck and take care

Answer 9

There are tons of options out there for you. If you do decide to keep the baby, go see a free clinic in town. They can help you get on medicare and food stamps and wic. There are tons of agencies designed to help young single moms who are pregnant. You are never alone. Think over all of your options carefully and don't let anyone pressure you into a decision you don't feel comfortable with. If you are only 7 weeks pregnant, you do have some time to think of your options. No matter what you do decide, do take care of yourself and don't panic. There is plenty of help available.

Answer 10

I disagree with "armybaby" There are enough people trying to live off the government, which makes our taxes go up. Nobody likes to pay taxes. Check with your boyfriends insurance, chances are they will pay for the birth. He will be made to pay 17% of his income in child support. With this you should do OK. If you can not make it on your income and 17% of his, you have made a poor choice of a boyfriend to have a child with. Then give it up.