Your not exactly happy in your married because your spouse is not paying enough attention to you and puts you down. If you were a married man or married woman and the opposite sex started paying attention to you on not coming on to you sexually but just acknowledging you were alive how would you react? Would you show them attention back in the best way possible you could? I am the married female that started to show a male friend he isn't dead. Now I getting very mixed signals from him and he won't leave me alone. Do I just push away I don't want to lose him as a friend.
2007-05-19 16:00:52 · 20 answers · asked by h 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK. You are married and happy but he is the living dead?? Am I getting this correct? If I am then that is great. It is very normal to come out alive and feel the warmth of another human after months of frost.
To give you a bit of wisdom what he is in is his own doing and his own choice. You got him to feel how things were once in his life, he would have never married that woman if she did not treat him right for a while. So whatever he goes through life its him and not you.
I would suggest you sit with him and tell him you are very flattered but love the hell out of your husband and would like to stay married and faithful; in the same time you respect him as a friend and would like to also stay that way....I do not see the issue......NOTHING can happen without your permission; you remember that all the time. nothing.
2007-05-27 01:33:55 · answer #1 · answered by Ariana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is important to realize that there is a different between friendship and emotional intimacy. The topics of conversation are often a hint of the type of relationship you have with someone. Emotional intimacy is what should exist between a husband and wife. When it does not exist it is common for a spouse to seek out emotional intimacy with someone that is looking for intimacy as well. However, it can often be damaging. I would set some definite boundaries with this guy and begin a process of figuring out why you are not happy in your marriage. If in the end the marriage does not work out, you can pursue other relationships afterwards. However, this sounds like your husband doesn't know and may cause more harm than good in the long run. Set some boundaries with the guy; if he gets dangerous are starts making emotional threats, seek out help; go to your husband and see where things are at so you can either move towards a happier marriage or other alternatives. Hope this helps.
2007-05-19 23:20:44 · answer #2 · answered by one.eternal.round 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you don't want to lose him as a friend? Better stay away from him if you value your marriage. If you can't avoid him, then keep reminding him and yourself that you are very married. If he continues to give you mixed signals and such, then obviously he has no respect for you as a married woman.
You will lose out eventually. You started this, so you better end it. Good luck. Even if you are not happy in your marriage and your spouse puts you down, it is no reason to start an extra marital affair.
Talk it out.
2007-05-26 10:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by Hani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have a sit down with your friend and try to gently tell him where your boundaries lie. Flirting is one thing and completely natural. Crossing the lines becomes cheating. While you are in a talkative mood, try discussing your felings of neglect with your husband. He may not realize he has become so critical. You should also have some alone time, where it is you being alone with yourself doing something you enjoy. A friend will respect your lines and if not, then you really don't need that kind of friend.
2007-05-25 23:53:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Push away...far ...away.
Give your husband that attenion you would have given the other guy. He cant simply ignore you. Attention is one of those things that isnt one sided...you can ask for it. Love on him, wear cute things to bed, keep the sex life alive. Sounds crazy, especially if you are unhappy, but trust me it works after only a couple of days. Everyone likes to feel loved, and when they do they return the favor.
2007-05-19 23:40:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just described how affairs are started. You really don't know the whole deal that is going on because you are not in their marriage. You need to back off or you will become the homewrecker. If there marriage is going to fall apart, it will, without your help. Sometimes you have to push away and lose a friendship. This is not your battle to fight, it's their relationship, not yours. The smart descision would be to back off because if you believe that things we do to others come back around....watch out!! ~
2007-05-19 23:05:27 · answer #6 · answered by dixi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be straight and honest with him and if he is really a friend he will back off. But in the future, never lead a guy on because we very seldom shy away from an attractive woman if we think she is interested.
2007-05-26 18:42:05 · answer #7 · answered by M R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes when guys get an inkling a woman is paying attention to them, they are hoping there is sex involved. This is normal for guys to react this way. Why do you think they are always ready to assist an attractive woman that needs help with "anything"
2007-05-19 23:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by wllhsbb 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him straight up how you feel... If you were trying to be a friend, then tell him so. Do Not lead him on... Men are simple creatures, and they are also selfish (no offense to those who read this, it's just true) but most of all, they are very sexual creatures! Watch Out!
2007-05-19 23:09:42 · answer #9 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a friend he won't hit on a married woman. The fact that he hits on you shows he doesn't respect you and think you will fall from grace and accept him.
2007-05-20 03:51:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋