Am I selfish for having thoughts of suicide?

Question

I'm obviously not the only one that experiences depression and has had suicidal thoughts, but it seems like it's so common these days that people don't care. When I told my family, friends, and even a doctor about my cutting tendencies and thoughts I was ignored, shunned, and told that I should feel guilty for how I felt and how I'm making them feel. I want to be a better person and have tried to stop but I need something that can help me. I want to here from people that may have or are experiencing the same things I am. Am I selfish for having thoughts of suicide?

When I first started cutting, I was scared and relieved at the same time. I thought it was great though, answer to my prayers. I got ahead of myself an then told my friends(court and brit) and all I could see in their eyes was disgust. Years later, I told my mother I was cutting and wanted to stop and I wanted to start going to a therapist for help. All she could say to me was that she felt similar when she was younger(but didn't cut) and that my brother went to one and didn't like it so she thought that wasn't a good idea. From then on I always felt like a starnger to my family, like I couldn't trust them. My brother was the only one I felt I could trust and now he is gone and has no interest in me. Everyday I feel like crying but I hold it inside, I told everyone I stopped. The only person who knows I still do it(Brittany) has probably more reason to cut then I do. What I really want know...why doesn't my brother love me anymore? Do I even know him? The one I once called 'bubba'?

Answer 1

no, thoughts of suicide aren't selfish. 8) i have them sometimes too, i feel like the world would ignore me either way, whether i'm alive or dead. how can you feel guilty for having suicidal thoughts? its not even your fault. sometimes i just ignore everything else and think about how i can prove people wrong. you're more than nothing and i bet you can help change a part of the world if you tried, even if only helps one person. please take some time to think, put the suicidal thoughts aside and think about good things there are in life. hope that helped.

Answer 2

I think that feeling this way is quite common but are you only writing in to seek attention or are you really in need of medicated help. Perhaps you have felt they are ignoring you because you are not getting the reaction you want or need. I come from a broken family with alot of problems and when I was younger went through a similar frame of mind to what you are in now, however eventually I had to realise that I was doing it to get attention that I wasn't getting from other areas and once I was able to physically and emotionally acknowlege where these feelings were coming from I was able to start dealing with it. I think the best thing is to go and see a psychologist who is trained in this area and if you don't like the first one try another, their are plenty of bulk billed clinics around and group sessions if you prefer, that way you can deal with the problem at hand and what is the actual cause of the way you are feeling and what you are choosing to do to yourself rather that just getting prescribed drugs which merely mask the problem. Good luck and I hope you take this guidance the way it is intended, as a hand up to look inside yourself for what you need to deal with the issues and then the actions.
All the best, xoxo Bel

Answer 3

Feeling guilty about these thoughts is not constructive. The best thing for you to do is focus on what you can do to feel better. I recommend visiting a therapist and discussing a method called cognitive therapy, and also asking them about anti-depressants. These are very safe and don't turn you into a "different person." If you have considered cutting yourself, don't wait to contact them. If you already have a therapist you don't really like, you should change because they may do things quite differently.

Don't feel guilty about any of this, but if you love your family and friends, when you have these feelings you can think of them and how much more you still want to share together.

Meanwhile, all of it may only be brain chemistry, something basically physical, and in no sense your fault at all.

Answer 4

Oh my god, who in their right mind shuns a person who is going through that? Don't feel guilty about it! You can't help how you feel sometimes, especially with depression since depression can be the result of a number of things like an imbalance in nutrition, or the chemicals in your brain just don't happen to be balanced, either way, you can't help it! What you need to do is go and find help on your own, call a hotline, they could give you the names of psychiatrists who could help you recover. It sounds tough, and it might be, but wouldn't you rather find help and live than die without knowing what kind of life you'd miss out on? You aren't selfish for thinking about suicide, I only believe the ACT of suicide is selfish. If a doctor ignored your signs, I think you should complain to someone. Doctors are supposed to take their patients seriously, but somewhere along the way they lose their humanity. I think if, at the beginning of their careers doctors could get very sick, and very scared for awhile, that would teach them a better lesson than medical school could. I'm glad you have recognized your problem, that is the first step to getting better. I'll admit, I have thought about suicide before, but I know that within me, I could never, ever go through with it simply because of all the pain it would bring upon everyone, plus, sometimes I have good days and if I let suicide control me, I would never know what good days are to come.

Answer 5

Having the thought is not selfish it is a symptom of the depression you are experienceing. It is no wonder to me that you are depressed by the sound of the uncaring people you have in your life. I too have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts. You need to see a different Dr that will get you some medication and refer you to therapy. Therapy will be helpful to you because it doesn't sound like your family or friends can be bothered. IF you are in an urgent situation, it might be a good idea to check into the hospital for awhile so that you will be safe. You should NOT feel guilty for what you are going through. It sounds to me like the people in your life are pretty selfish. Get some help for yourself and then fill your life with people who care about you as much as you care about them. I wish you the best.

Answer 6

Many people have thoughts of suicide at some time or another. When people cut themselves, they are in great pain and this is a way they have found to reduce it.

As for the people who have told you you are selfish, I think they have added to your pain.

I don't believe that suicide is ever the answer to problems. Have you talked to a psychologist? You need to talk to someone who understands your pain and can help you through it. If you have talked to a psychologist who has not helped you, please find another psychologist. There are a lot of really good ones out there. I know, because I have one. He would never treat me the way you have been treated.

Please keep trying, even when it seem so hard to find answers. A good psychologist can help you find these answers, and if medication can help, he/she will lead you to someone who can give them to you.

In my experience psychiatrist and psychologist can work together. I have found psychologist are usually the best listeners and have helped me the most, but some can not give medication.

The main thing is, there are people who care and those people do not use shame to try to help because it doesn't help. In fact it makes things worse.

I don't even know you, but just from reading your question, I care. I want you to get better and I know you can. Just don't ever give up. Help can be just around the corner.

E-mail me through yahoo if you ever need someone to "talk" to.

Answer 7

I personly dont think suicide is selfish. i do if you are doing it to get someone to feel sorry for you or so they notice you and be your friend. But i used to be suicidal and i have cut myself once in 1year where i used to do it nearly every day for 5years. Its not selfish but it is something you really dont want to get into. My boyfriend is helping me with my cutting and when i feel suicidal he tells me that its the easy way out. which he is right, it is the easy way out (my boyfriend thinks it is selfish). And whatever is wrong it will get better. i am now 17 when i was 11 i started cutting i had a bad childhood and wanted to commit suicide. But now i am so glad i didnt. As for people not listening i had that when i was younger as well but if they are not listening then go and find some one else and if they dont keep looking untill you do find someone because it is hard to go through alone. Good luck and find me if you need me x

Answer 8

Well I understand that you must be hurting inside for some apparent reason...but as a reminder God also felt hurt when he sent his son Jesus don't you know that he was treated like trash but he still stood there and knew all of the good that could become of this.I just want to tell you it hurts to know that a person feel that there is nothing good to live for you Mom must be hurting to know that you don't love her enough to stay areound and let her see you grow up and become the person she always wanted you to be and you know all parents want there children to be the best...SMILE...There is always something life has to offer if you need someone to talk to talk to a local minister or God he is always there if your not a CHRISTian then become one and I assure you you will know that there is nothing but good as people we all have to go through things to learn from life don't feel as if you are the only victim...surround yourself with positive people like a church member(s) please pretty please don't kill yourself it will only be worst when you think it is over it will only get worst only thing it will last forever in torment ther is always a way to turn GOD has a way and don't be mad at me telling you this its a hurtful thing to know that a person wants to leave you all alone in a world like this don't do it I beg of you...don't hurt yourself stop the cutting and stop the devilish thought of suicide...things can and will get better if you would only believe...

Answer 9

No. You're not selfish. I know what you're going through. I have been depressed for 6 months now, and I've also thought about killing myself many times. I have thought that I wouldn't just be doing it for myself, but others, since many people didn't want me around because of the depression. You just need to find something to live for. And do anything possible to help yourself get better. It'll take time, but you, and I can do it.

Answer 10

Selfish is no the appropriate word to describe this, it's more like despair. So what? everyone has these thoughts but you shouldn't tell anyone about them, because people tend to isolate themselves from people who just open up like this. You should be more careful to whom you open up to. These thoughts that are going through your mind are caused by fear, fear to face reality and accept it as it is rather then what we want it to be. But you mustn't be weak, people step on you every day and you can either stay down or stand up. The reason I never resorted to suicide is not because I was leaving someone close sad, or because I had a bond with something or someone of this pile of dirt we call a planet, it's because I didn't want to give people or devils the pleasure of seeing me succumb to their dark influences and just give up, so I stud up even prouder and laughed at their stupid attempts and if I was hit again I would stand up even prouder and confident that they couldn't keep me down, you should do the same.