Is my son mentally retarded?

Question

My husband and I were at an IEP meeting for our son, who is 5 and will be going to all-day kindergarten in the fall--he requires speech and occupational therapy (he's a late-talker).

This school shrink says that his cognitive skills are really delayed, and I disagree. You're talking about someone who's only spent an hour with him, and someone he does not know very well at all, versus his parents, who are with him just about 24/7 and have seen that he has great problem-solving skills.

What is going on? I know my son is smart--it's just that he doesn't express it. Is this just a way for them to label him to get extra funding?

Answer 1

I am not an expert, but I would not label your son as retarded. He may have above average intelligence.

Take advantage of the programs offered. At this age, any extra help will reap benefits later. Just be careful not to label him.

My guess--your family is so in tuned to each others needs, you don't need to verbally discuss, which could be what the school counselor is picking up. Helping him to develop skills outside the family circle will help him to relate to other kids.

Answer 2

It sounds like he could have some speech problems. If he gets the extra help early on it will improve his skills and he will either catch up or exceed his peers.
I wouldn't look at this as a negative, but a positive. As a teacher I know that the students in additional services usually get a lot more individualized attention.
As far as the school is concerned they are comparing your son to every student they have seen over the past years. Your son, may be shy or quiet, but he may have some delayed skills.
Finally, just because your son is on an IEP does not make him retarded. There are many different levels, and I am willing to bet if the are main streaming him, he is not retarded.
Watch his progress. If you feel he doesn't need services or additional attention, then in the next ARD meeting demand your son to be removed. Ultimatley as the parent you have all the power and you make the final call.

Usually schools do not recieve extra funding for special ed population. They recieve a set amount of funds and have to budget it to accomadate everyone. Typically these funds are spread pretty thin. So I doubt it is a money thing!

Answer 3

First, if you disagree with the school district's evaluation, you have a right to request an Independent Educational Evaluation at public expense (IEE). The IEE can be administered by anyone you choose within the state's guidelines to test the same areas that the school district just tested. The IEP team must then consider the IEE report by law.
Second, so many people don't understand how special ed funding works, clearly even some teachers. Basically, the feds pitch in a small percentage. That money MUST, but law, be used towards special ed. The state pitches in the largest percentage. What they provide is based on the number of special ed students in the district *up to a certain number/percentage.* After that number/percentage has been met, they receive no further extra funding per child. Most school districts meet and exceed that number/percentage in the U.S. The money provided by the state is dispersed depending on which state you live in. In some states, just as federal funding, the money MUST go towards special education. In many states, the money can go anywhere the school board decides to put it. You can draw your own conclusions why some states have better special ed services than others.

Answer 4

It is entirely possible that the school dr (who's probably a psychometrist, and not a real psychologist) did not adjust for the fact that your son is nonverbal (or lowverbal, I'm not sure what late-talker means). Ask what test they used, ask what concessions they made for him not speaking at age level.

Most kids with autism face this same discrimination. The fact is that IQ tests are biased towards those with good communication skills. Most kids with autism are not retarded, but they are frequently labeled so because of the tests. Your son is facing the same discrimination. However, I'd take advantage of it for now, it will get you more services. Just make sure that they dont' underestimate the guy and treat him differently. You'll need to be in the classroom frequently to make sure he's getting the appropriate services and supports, even when schools say they are doing it, they often aren't.

Answer 5

Children develop and mature at different rates. Some learn quicker than others but that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with your child. My brother was also in speech and occupational therapy because he had a difficult time speaking clearly and he also had problems with hand-eye coordination. My parents took my brother to his pediatrician immediately before letting him do any of the therapy that the school was recommending for him. After his pediatrician performed a whole sleuth of tests on him and referred him to different therapists, it was determined that he did need the therapy and my parents let him continue the therapy through the school. You should also take your son to his pediatrician and have his or her opinion before you submit your son to these therapy sessions. As a parent you know your child better than anyone else does but if your son does need this therapy it is better that he gets it while he is still very young. It does not mean that your son is mentally retarded, it only means that he needs a little bit of help to better help him develop some of his skills.

Answer 6

It is possible that your son, since he was a late talker and apparently has a need for occupational therapy, is developmentally delayed. That does not mean that he is retarded. He just got off to a slow start compared to kids his age. In time and with therapy many such kids catch up to their peers. Just be open and ask lots of questions at your ARC meetings. Also check your public library for resources that you can use to learn about developmental delay and other special needs areas (speech therapy, OT). It is good for parents to be informed from sources outside the school. Sometimes schools make suggestions that are in their best interests and not necessarily in the child's best interest. If you don't agree with the school you can also get a "second" opinion by having him re-evaluated by private psychologist. I've listed some links that might be helpful. Best wishes. Hang in there.

Answer 7

I am special ed teacher and I get no extra money. My school doesn't either. I suppose the district does and it goes to teacher salaries so kids like yours can come to my small resource room for individualization instead of sitting in a class of 28 kindergartners and receive no one-to one teaching.
Now, if the psychologist is a good one, they have been trained years in how to give standardized tests which are problem solving tests which show how the child responds and compares it to children of the same age all over the country. You don't mention what kind of problem solving he does..are you talking about academic problem solving and who are you comparing him to? Kindergarten is not what it was 10 years ago. We expect them to leave kindergarten counting to 100, adding and subtracting up to 10 and reading 100 site vocabulary words.
The questions you should be asking is did they give him a non verbal IQ test? Many programs give a verbal which is all language based. Some kids do better on nonverbal.
You can always have him tested outside of school and compare results. Low skills aren't necessarily mentally retarded.

Answer 8

The term Mentally Retarted appears to be your defensive label, which may be different than the "delayed" cognitive skills the school psychologist was referring to. Cognitive skills include language processing skills (speech/language), which you have already admitted are delayed! You already stated that your son needs speech because he "was a late talker." Plus, you said that he is smart, but "DOESN'T EXPRESS" it, which is also indicates delays. Since you said that you son requires Speech, your son is obviously ALREADY receiving "special education services" as a a "handicapped" student. Also, you indicated that he requires Occupational Therapy, which is a "handicapping" condition, requiring "special education services" So, your son already has labels and your son is already receiving extra funding. At this point, it really doesn't matter what other labels are tacked on because he's already getting special education services and funds. It is obvious that the school was concerned about your son, otherwise they would not have taken the time to provide a full-evaluation. This may be difficult for you to except, but if your son requires speech/language support and occupational therapy, he DOES have delays. It is amazing to me that you would be more willing to listen to people on-line who have never met your son or you before than listen to school staff who have shown concern for your son!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

My son is autistic and I know for a fact he doesn't act the same around someone he doesn't know. ESPECIALLY in evaluation, doctor's appts., etc. So I agree the school shrink does not know your child. I don't believe it is a money making scheme though because special education is so short budgeted right now and there are plenty of children that do clearly qualify.

If you completely disagree then ask for another evaluation. This is your lawful right. You can ask for another evaluation from an outside source (NOT employed by the school) and they have to pay for it. Let them know you are aware of the law..that usually stops the argument!

Good luck!

Answer 10

I would rather have a gay son than a mentally retarted one. Because gay people aren't any diffirent than any one else they just like the same sex, and I couldn't bear the pain of my child being teased for being diffirent or my child not being able to fully think or be educated.