HOW DO I GET MY WIFE TO QUIT ACCUSING ME OF "wanting to be with", or "seeing", the mother of my 7-yr. old son

Question

This is driving me crazy. Every time my wife sees that I have called my sons mother she accuses me of wanting her back. I am not attracted to my son's mother at all. My wife is very pretty. What is wrong with this picture?

Answer 1

She has self esteem issues that she needs to deal with. She knew going into the marriage that you had an ex and a child (unless you hid that from her) and she knew that is something that she'd have to deal with.

If you have a good relationship with her, your wife's insecurities are that you want the new woman.

Are you making sure that your current wife's needs are being met? and that she knows that you love her?

Do you call your ex regularly or call her other than when discussing your son? Do you hide your calls from your wife and she "finds out".?

Answer 2

If you tell your wife that her yapping is making you reconsider your feelings for her... then you will have huge issues. Your wife is typical of a woman that marries a man with children from a previous relationship. From the sound of your question it looks like you just boinked the other woman and fertilized her and left (or she just used you as a sperm donor and left you) either way.. this is actually good. Tell your "wife, and only woman you actually "married" that obviously you never loved the other old bat. Better yet if you can just say that at the time you were just thinking with your D--k like most young men and she wanted a baby and used your sperm against your wishes. Also point out that the first woman is so nuts you have to keep an eye on her for fear how she is bringing up the kid.
You wife being "pretty" or not has little to do with anything. Heck even Cristy Brinkley couldn't keep her man.

Answer 3

When a woman feels jealousy there are really only two ways around it.
1. divorce her
2. Be so open that she has no reason to be jealous. Don't make a single phone call unless she is there in the room. in fact, tell her to turn her movies off so that she can listen to the call. Make her come with you to every visit. Have her read and/or add a short note to any and all correspondance with your ex or your son. Not only will she feel like you are being open and trust worthy, she will also get so annoyed with having to be involved that she will likely back off. After doing this for a couple of months you also need to sit her down and tell her that jealousy is a sign of ownership, and not of love and that you want a love relationship with her.

Answer 4

Yikes-this is close to home. Being a new wife to a man that deals with his ex daily for the sake of the kids, I have to tell you it is so hard to deal with this situation. Be patient with your wife, this is hard for her, I'm sure. Women are jealous by nature (right, ladies?) and can feel threatened easily, even if you know there's nothing to worry about. We don't always feel prettier, more loved or more wanted...then to add into the picture someone that you found pretty, loved and wanted in the past--makes us kind of nutso.
Are you having personal conversations with the ex that you shouldn't? (discussing your current wife, marital concerns, etc). If so, she kind of has reason to feel insecure. But if it's all standard, business-like conduct for the sake of your boy, try and talk to her and express to her that you understand and can talk openly about her insecurities. We women like to talk, or at least have you listen :) Good luck!

Answer 5

Well obviously you and your son's mother were attracted to eachother at one point (you have a son together) so that may intimidate your wife a bit. If you talk to her often then maybe you should cut your talk time short. Don't give your wife reasons to become jealous. If your wife just doesn't want you talking to her then you need to draw the line and explain to her that you have to be in contact with her for the sake of your son. She just needs to deal with it. If not then I think you should re-evaluate your situation because it is not a healthy environment for your son.

Answer 6

How about this, u only call u're ex when u're wife is in the same room with u? U're wife is worried because u're having private conversations with u're ex. From now on, only talk when u're wife is there. U may think just because u're wife is pretty, she will be secure. Not necessarily so, u need more than just looks to feel secure. Sit down with her and tell her u are aware of how she feels and from now on u won't talk in private anymore and ask what else will make her feel better.

Answer 7

Your wife has the problem but you married the problem.How could you not know she felt this way before you married her?You may never have any peace with this woman because you are not the problem,she is the problem.Get that girl some help or get your self a divorce because honestly ,I don't think people who behave like her are rational.

Answer 8

She's jealous and insecure and has low self esteem. She knew that you had a son when she married you and maybe you should remind her of that fact and let her know that she has to trust you and that your interest is strictly in your son and you will not stop being involved in his life just because she's paranoid. If she can't handle it then the marriage won't last anyway.

Answer 9

Her accusing you of wanting your ex is your current wife's insecurities unfortunately and nothing you do will change that. If she wasn't accusing you of wanting the ex it would just be another woman. I know because I used to do the same thing to boyfriends,Remind your wife that an ex is an ex for a reason and that you didn't have to marry your (current) wife you WANTED TO! Good luck

Answer 10

This picture is that you probably shouldn't have married this woman. She is either insecure or very controlling (manipulative). I would think seriously whether you want to have children with this woman. But then, men are stupid. Pretty is like the least important quality, but there you go.