2007-05-19 12:47:55 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
thank you for those of you who have answered and have lost someone it takes courage and growth to do so - thank you again.
2007-05-19 14:30:58 · update #1
My son took his own life a few years ago, so I can sort of relate to what you are asking. I know people didn't and still don't know what to say to me when they hear that. I can tell you what not to say for sure, do not say you know how she feels. Just tell her that you are sorry and that you are here for her if she needs anything, to talk or whatever. It is going to be a very long time before she will even come close to believing that it isn't her fault. That is something she has to work through on her own and she will eventually, it takes time. Suicide survivors go through alot of different phases and it takes some longer than others to get through each one.
The important thing for me was having someone to talk to when I needed it. And also people keeping quiet about it when I didn't feel like it. It upsets me still, that people are afraid to even mention my sons name. So, if she wants to talk about her late husband, just listen to her and don't tell her not to think about it. I could go on and on, but that is the basic things. Hope this helps you some.
2007-05-19 13:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by Debbie M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was always afraid to go around someone when they lost someone close to them because I felt like I wouldn't know what to say, I stayed afraid until someone gave me some really good advice they said, when someone loses someone they love they never really can recall what someone said to them but they can recall every one that was there for them. So my advice is even if you don't say much at all, just be there for your friend. Remind her that no matter what happened it wasn't her fault, no one can completely control another human.
2007-05-19 13:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by ♥itsme♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would send her a txt message everyday, tell her I love and miss her, try to get to bible study or something of that nature, I always made her feel I needed her!
2016-01-07 22:42:54 · answer #3 · answered by NonaA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. There is not much you can say. She needs to know it is not her fault and that there are people who love her.
2007-05-19 12:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by Pammie aka Lil Miss Perky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well , just be her friend and listen ...my sister suicided in 1984 , i wish i joined a support group ( oddly enough the funeral home has contacts ...i'm so sorry for your friends and your pain ......you may wanna check on her after the funeral and excitement dies down thats when people forget
2007-05-19 13:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That it's not her fault or anyone's fault. He reached the ultimate in desperation within his inner life.
2007-05-19 12:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by Irish 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There isnt much you can say in this kind of situation. Just be there and listen listen listen. When she is ready to talk she will.
All the best!!
2007-05-19 12:53:25 · answer #7 · answered by MichM 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her youll support her and get her through the pain and heartache. tell her that her husband made a huge mistake and left behind a amazing wife who didnt deserve what she got.
2007-05-19 12:53:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just be there to comfort her, and be able to lend your support! There is really nothing you can say! Just be there!
2007-05-19 12:53:21 · answer #9 · answered by fjerseyman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I'm so sorry," is the best I can come up with. She probably doesn't want to talk in depth about it.
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2007-05-19 12:50:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋