Are you up for another............????

Question

story using these Vern Gosdin songs?
1. I'm only going crazy
2. You're not by yourself
3. That just about does it
4. Do me a favor
5. Some old side road
6. Alone

Answer 1

Dodge city, Kansas
Circa 1876

Ma Smalley could tell. She could always tell. Yep. She always knew when a storm was on the way. Her left leg would twitch, her right hand would make vulgar gestures, her nose would ooze a purplish gunk AND her head would rotate in a counter-clockwise direction. It was appalling and fascinating, at the same time. She was Dodge City's answer to a Wild West Freak Show. She approached Old Doc Adams about this, hoping he could cure her involuntary movements.
All he did was to give her a pat on the head as he told her:"(4) Do me a favor and stay just the way you are, dear Ma. Why, without you we'd have no storm warnings at all. Think of the lives you are saving. Ma was furious at Doc for his stupid comment, so he gave her something to placate her anger; Something he knew she would love....Yep. You guessed it.......Some gravy coated double branded chewing tobacca. Doc: "And you don't even need to pay me for my services." She just spit a wad of the tobacco juice at his feet, and slammed his door as she left his office.

As Ma was coming down the long staircase, U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon saw her. He watched as her head began the counter-clockwise movement. Matt:"Damn ....that is soooo cool." He ran to where the storm bell was and rang it so hard it could have awakened the dead on Boot Hill! People all over town started scrambling to board up the windows to their places of business and their homes.
Matt:"(3) That just about does it," he said as he inspected the town.

As the wind picked up, Festus and Doc yelled to him from the storm cellar beneath the LongBranch Saloon......"Come on down here with us, Matthew. We'll ride out the storm playing some games of checkers. I gar an TEE you that we'll have us a fine old time." Matt smiled...."Thanks anyway, Festus. Take care. I'm off for Sunshine's farm." Festus looked dejected.
Doc: "Festus, if you had a pretty woman waiting for you right now, would you still want to be in this dingy hole of a room? If I know Sunshine MacGillicutty, she'll be waiting for Matt on the front porch. She'll have a pie in the oven, dinner waiting for him and..........clean sheets on their bed." He and Newley started giggling. They gave each other a head butt as they teased about Matt and his libidious girlfriend. Miss Kitty, owner and manager of the LongBranch, and former flame of Matt's, listened to Doc and Newley's prattle. She grabbed a bottle of Randy Scouse Git Rotgut and took a long gulp!!Getting drunk was her only escape from the images of Matt and Sunshine that tormented her.

By now, Matt was on his horse riding out to Sunshine's farm. Tumbleweed was flying everywhere like cotton candy at the State Fair. Suddenly there was a flash of lightning. As Matt rode by a large oak tree, the lightning struck the limb and it fell on Matt, knocking him off his horse. To add insult to INJURY, (in the truest sense of the word) the heavens opened up and it began raining very hard. By the time he got to Sunshine's farm, he was soaked to the bone....with a broken bone, at that. True to Doc's words, Sunshine was waiting for Matt on the front porch. She ran to him and helped him in the house. Once inside, Matt said:" Hope you haven't been worried, Sunny. I got delayed....God my arm hurts."
Sunshine:"(1) I'm only going crazy, that's all. I kept picturing you in a ditch, (6) Alone, on (5.) Some old side road." She sat him down on the couch, and without any fanfare, set his broken arm. ((((SNAP)))). Matt winced, but soon realized that the pain was subsiding.

He watched as she ripped one of the four pettycoats she wore. Even in his shaky condition, he tried to sneak a peek!
Sunshine: " Ta da! Here is your sling."
Matt:" Oh, SunnyMac....you know how to do EVERYTHING." He leaned forward and kissed her.
Sunshine: "I baked your favorite pie, baby...........
A Sweet Cherry, Rang A Dang Dang , Who's Your Momma, Tornados a' Comin' Green Apple Pie ."
But FIRST, we need to get you out of those wet clothes. She stripped him down and had him sit in front of the fire while she went and got his nightshirt. As she came back into the livingroom, she looked at him basking in the glow of the fire, stark naked.
His wet hair was curling by his ears and that ALWAYS turned her on!!

As she helped him on with his bed clothes her hands lingered once or twice on his various protruding parts. Matt smiled but pretended that he didn't notice.......his body, however, could NOT pretend. Sunshine spoke to his body....(2.) "You're not by yourself, you know. Ol' Sunshine is here is to take care of any and ALL needs, that may arise." Matt got up from the couch and put his arm around her.
Matt:"Time for bed,baby."

The storm blew hard that night. The wind whipped through the pine trees like a knife through freshly baked Plum Possum bread. Yet above all the thunder and wind, a cry could be heard as far away as the storm cellar underneath the LongBranch Saloon..................................................................
"Yippee KY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !! "

Answer 2

...Do me a favor. Tell me, I'm only going crazy. I got so upset at People insulting our President. I got so mad, it caused me to have to go jog around the Block. I ended up on some old side Road, near where I lived. Then realized where I was.
... Did this mean that I would be alone in my way of thinking? Was I gonna be the only one that took offense at those insulting My President? Then comes that E-Mail that I needed so desperately. I get a very nice word from a dear friend of mine. Confirming that I was right in feeling angered at how people use their Political beliefs. To get a chance to smear the name of someone. Who lives to make them safe. And who's worked, tirelessly. To see that we are never attacked, on our soil again. Well, that just about does it.
... I'm told that I'm suppose to Pray for these people. I guess I must pray for my hatred that I feel for those who disrespect Our Military. I'll be on my knees, for a very long time, tonight. May God shed His Blessings on George W. Bush!

Answer 3

look..i know that you`re not by yourself. that just about does it, tho...so do me a favor and pull over on some old side road and leave me alone! I`m only going crazy because you are making me.