16 and pregnant....?

Question

why do people always look at you funny? who cares if im 16 and pregnant! whats so bad about it? ive been with my man for 2 years.

Answer 1

You know what, you ARE very young to be pregnant. And people ARE gonna look at you, sometimes w/disgust; they assume you must be some kind of s l u t. The truth is, you didn't do anything different than a LOT of girls your age are doing (having sex)--the only difference between you and them is that you got pregnant.

But I'm not going to judge you one bit because *I* got pregnant on my 17th birthday, and against all the odds, and right in the faces of all the people (including my own FATHER) who told me I was ruining my life and I'd "never make more than minimum wage," I am a HELLUVA good mother, I was with his father for 9 yrs (and we had two more children together.) My son was born healthy--10lbs 12oz--and he will be 18 this December. He does well in school and I couldn't be more pleased with his values and morals. He's a good kid and stays out of trouble. No trouble w/the law, only occasionally skipping school (didn't a LOT of us do that anyway, though?), but generally a GREAT kid w/a GREAT personality.

As for me, minimum wage, my @ss! I found my niche in accounting in my early 20s (accts payable/receivable/deductions, etc.) and although I am now a SAHM (my children's father died of cancer 6 1/2 yrs ago, so his survivors' benefits allow me to do that and be home for my kids, thank God), I have a great occupation to return to when my kids get older. I have plenty of supervisory and management experience in accounting, and I AM a success story. It CAN be done, so my advice to you is f**k all those judgmental @ssholes who look down upon you for being pregnant young.

If you're mature enough to handle raising a baby and the father is willing to be a part of it (it's NOT easy, I won't lie!) then I say go for it. I did it, and my life wasn't ruined; it was ENRICHED. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.

If you want to chat w/me or just need more advice or a shoulder to vent on, feel free to email me. My daughter is also pregnant, 18 wks, and she's almost 16. She can relate to you too. She's not a s l u t either; in fact, she got pregnant on the Depo shot. I knew I couldn't stop her from being sexually active, so knowing that, I did all I COULD do, which was arm her with all the information about safe sex, provide her w/birth control (I thought I could at LEAST help prevent her from getting pregnant...wrong!), and hoped she'd take the info I gave her and make the right decisions. That's all I could do, and I did. The rest was up to her.



ETA: Siobhan stated the following:

"People look at you funny because they are disgusted that they will probably have to pay to support your child for the next 18 years."

You don't know that! I personally never received ONE DIME from welfare or food stamps, and my husband and I both had health insurance at our jobs. I am NOT knocking people who use those resources--they are there for a reason and if they are needed, by all means, use them--but what a presumptious statement to make about someone you don't even know! If Chelsea needs these services, that's what they're THERE for, and she SHOULD use them! That tax money is going to come out of your precious paycheck REGARDLESS of whether or not anyone utilizes the resources available.
I noticed in your profile that you will accept "positive emails only" and anything negative will be "promptly deleted." I see you can dish out the negativity like there's no tomorrow, but boy, you run like hell from it!
YOU should be ashamed of YOURself.

Answer 2

well many people look at pregnant people with shock, like they've never seen one before. everyone thinks that 16 is too young to be having sex, and especially having a baby. but i think they have forgotten that this is the 21st century and things are going to be different. and besides, way back in the day girls were having kids even younger than 16, so i don't really see why all these adults are freaking out to see pregnant 16 year-olds.
and to answer "what's so bad about it?"...
well first off, you probably don't have a job that can support you and your baby.
i don't know you, i'm just saying most 16 year olds don't.
but one thing you can do is stand up to all these people that are putting you down and telling you your worthless. show them that you CAN do it. yes, it probably will be hard for a while, but all the hard work will pay off. i had a friend who had a baby when she was 14 and she graduated highschool and college top in the class, and got her bachelors degree. she showed everyone that it is possible, but she worked very hard for it. so just make sure you have a lot of support behind you and you will be just fine!
good luck to you and your baby
=)

Answer 3

People look because you are so young. They ask themselves all sorts of questions that aren't really any of their business. Things happen, I know. Just be true to yourself and your baby. I won't begin to explain why being 16 and pregnant is not a great thing, because you will experience that on your own. It is a huge responsibility for a teenager to handle. I was 23 when I had my son and I felt overwhelmed at THAT age. I can't imagine doing it while I was in high school. Just stay strong, get as much support as possible and love that baby with everything you have. Good luck.

Answer 4

It doesn't matter how long you have been with your man, bottom line you are in no way old enough to have a baby. How are you going to support your baby? Welfare? Make all of us taxpayers pay for your kid? That's not exactly fair. And if you say you are going to work, then you must not be aware of child labor laws. 16 year olds can get a job, but will rarely be paid enough to support a child. On top of that, the working hours of a 16 year old are restricted, so even if you do make $9/hr., it is nowhere near enough money if you are only allowed to work 20 hrs a week. Bear that in mind. People look at you funny because they are disgusted that they will probably have to pay to support your child for the next 18 years. Keep your legs closed, sex is for mature adults that are able to take care of their responsibilities should they have a baby.

Answer 5

16 years old is kind of young to have a child but then again what can i say....i'm only turning 20 in a week and i have a baby due in september!! people will always look and have their opinion though...i say as long as your still in school or continuing with your hopes/dreams/plans...whatever it is...then more power to you!! they will always judge you....as i'm sure if you weren't pregnant and you seen a 15 or 16 yr. old girl who was pregnant you might think wow....she's my age and gonna be a mom!! also, they probably do not know that you have been with the dad for 2 years...they probably think....stupid little girl....just went out and had a one night stand and look where it got her!! but don't let it get to you...come up with a smart comeback (not a b*tchy one, but a really good classy one) and put them in check!!! anyways...back in the day parents where giving their daughters away in marriage at like the age of 14 and stuff....how do you think they had all that time to have like 300 kids...LOL...

Answer 6

Isn't it funny how in times when society was more conservative, nobody cared when you got married or had children at young ages like 13 but nowadays in this sleazy world, it's looked down upon? Everyone has different views. I'm 16 myself and just got over a pregnancy scare and if you want details you can refer to my question. Babies are blessings, as long as you're mature enough to handle it then it's no problem. Good luck with everything!

Answer 7

when do they look at you funny I was 15 and 16 when I gave birth and noone really bothered me I was not with the daddy but handled my self appropriately and acted like a respectful young lady yes it is a shock to some but it is ok part of growing up is not worrying what people say unless they are payin you're bills hope all goes well for you!!

Answer 8

Congrats. So what if ur preg. and young people talk either way. If your happy and know what ur doing let it be. I had my 1st baby when I just turn 17 and was with my baby's daddy back 11 years ago and still wih him now, we have 2 boys 10, 6 and beatiful baby girl thats just 4 weeks old

Answer 9

i dont know why but its rather annoying when they do i am nearly 27weeks pregnant and showing and i get weird looks all the time especailly from older women(50s and up) its like they check u 2 see if ur married or something cause alot of women dont wear there rings etc like they are judging u if ur capable of raising that child

Answer 10

Because people wonder if you can properly provide for this child at your age..

If you can handle SCHOOL... a JOB.. paying RENT... etc..

And still afford to feed yourselves.

It's not easy. People look at you that way, because they wonder if, at your age, you are capable of pulling your family's load.. which is generally not the common case for people your age..

I hope you understand.
Best of luck to you, and your baby.