We separated in January, I finally got custody of the kids. She got involved with drugs and a new boyfriend that has several arrest for drugs. They are living together, He is not supposed to be around my kids when they are with her per court order. I ask my kids if he was there and my son says yes my daughter will not say. She gets the kids every other weekend now that she has passed a drug test. She has to take one every other month in order to have this. Otherwise it is supervised visitation. Why do I feel so bad every time the kids go with her? I know she cannot be trusted. I feel like she will run with the kids, She has threatened several times. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I just worry about them. She does not allow them to call me until they are about to come home. She has moved again, She was evicted from the last 2 houses since January. She is now living with people I do not trust. The kids are going to stay with people they do not know. What do i do?
2007-05-19 03:04:07 · 11 answers · asked by Bones 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Man that is awful. I hate to say to go back to court because that is so expensive and time consuming but really it may be the only way. If you could get proof that she is breaking the court orders with her really 'cool' boyfriend that would be great. Also have the courts investigate the home. Talk to your kids and tell them that their Mom is sick and just can't help the way she is right now. Pray without ceasing that she is going to get better. You feel bad because you love your kids. Some parents don't really care. The fact that you have custody says alot about your love for them and your character. Keep up the good work Daddy and just look after there well being. Some things you can't protect them from and some you can, you have to decide what is worth the fight. Good luck!
2007-05-19 03:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by jhardinmom 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your allowed to get a divorce with your woman even if she id nothing wrong. That does not make you a bad person. She probably feels the same way about you. But before you get a divorce go on a romantic vacation to see if a sparks fly, if there aren't any sparks then it's over. Get a divorce. Then just talk to your cousin's wife and forget about your cousin. As for your kids, they might not like you guys getting a divorce, but they can survive. Obama's parents were divorced and look how he turned out. If you just explain everything to your wife the divorce probably won't be too messy and hopefully you can all get along. You seem like an ok guy you deserve to be happy. Good luck!
2016-05-17 09:42:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should suggest until she gets some stability and could provide a safe and healty enviroment for the kids the possibity of instead of visitation every other weekend maybe she could have them for the enire day every saturday and sunday that way they are home at night and you can rest knowing they are ok, but the most important thing is to work with her becouse the kids are toun between the two of you and probaly dont understand whats best for them and in the long run they will be the ones hurt the most so even if you have too, throw in a couple hours during the week one day that way everyone wins and every night you have the satisfaction of knowing they are safe and you will rest and sleep more peacefully
2007-05-19 03:47:46 · answer #3 · answered by THE BOSS 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a good lawyer and go back to court. She's flirting with her addiction. You're gut feelings are probably right. She can be drug tested again, (randomly). If she has been evicted twice, that is not good. All of these things can be mentioned in court. You have to worry about the kids' safety - you are right. See a lawyer now.
2007-05-19 03:14:21 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are deeply concerned about the safety and well-being of your children; you are to be commended for that. I would recommend that you contact your attorney about your concerns, and seek supervised visitation. Your children need to know their mother, but do NOT need to be put in harm's way to do it. If she has made threats to leave with the children, document the day, time and circumstances of the threats, and let the police and your lawyer know. You feel bad because you are a good, responsible parent; don't be ashamed of that. Good luck and God bless.
2007-05-19 03:12:59 · answer #5 · answered by Judy W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take her back to court and explain the living sittuation she is in . I am sure the judge will make her make other arrangements in her living sittuation if she wants to continue to see the kids . I know it is hard I used to feel the same way when my kids went with their dad he used to threaten to run with them too . I went to court and told the judge this and he made my ex have suppervised visitation . I hope I helped and good luck.
2007-05-19 03:27:26 · answer #6 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First think about the way your kids are. If you think they're able not to let that environment effect them, than I think there's nothing much she can do to change them or "ruin" them.
If you trust your kids enough, than that's pretty much all that will matter. Trust your instincts. You know you can't change her, but if you -know- you taught your kids better than that, and they're aware of her drug abuse and unsteady life, than, everything should turn out fine.
It's tough, but you gotta hold in there.
That's just my 2 cents:)
2007-05-19 03:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by Random22 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go back to court and provide evidence hire a investigator.
2007-05-19 03:08:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont blame you, she needs to help herself b4 trying to be a mother,,, i feel bad for you and her,, i bet she feels pretty bad about loosing you and her kids,, doing drugs w/ all that isnt fun... if she w/talk to you, w/out her boyfriend around,,, tell her you care about her( sheis the mother of your kids) and she needs to get help and she really needs to stop dragging your kids into this,,, i dont know if you can talk to her,,, maybe if that doesnt work,,, goto court and tell the judge,,, they w/listen
2007-05-19 03:15:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
take her back to court so she has supervised visits again
2007-05-19 03:27:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋