don't get me wrong but i want to be honest and want to find out about your opinion. is this a cultural thing? my manager (the one who approves my timecard) is from india. having said that, few days ago, he visited my condo since i told him (happen to let him know about situation by chance) that i want to list it for sale. he then told me he got a friend who might possibly move and buy a home. he want to look at my home. i honestly didn't feel comfortable but had to say 'sure ok'. few days passed and he 'reminded' me by announcing that 'I am coming over tonight to view'.
ok, so he's visiting me. he came by after work and wanted to learn about my loans and look at the house. he sits next to me to view my laptop screen as i did searching of other competitors. that's fine. now here goes the funky part.
his hands were laying on top of my thigh and didn't bother to move it away as he sit so close toward me to view one computer screen. i was explaining things and tried to ignore
2007-05-19 00:46:38 · 13 answers · asked by h 2 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Law & Legal
great, i must continue my story here..
so after his hands on top of my legs (where short pants touch length), i moved out of my chair, talking (was being nice and ignore). later he tabs his own shoulder complaining he has pain. he asks me to massage his shoulder. i tapped it saying 'sorry to hear'. he asked me to 'massage'. i didn't do that.
now next, he asks for me to give my palms so he can read me. he gives analogies and all that, reading 5 minutes. he later asks it again to read after awhile and i felt his thumbs sliding my palm. im not feeling comfortable.
later when it was time to say bye, he asks for hug. real hug he said then i felt my chast pressing. i back bit by bit he kept up with a hug.
questions he asked) will i get married someday, how old am i? how old do i think he is?
he inside his office asked to hug (way before) b/c he felt sorry for my situation at home. that's fine but why the hell.
2007-05-19 00:50:13 · update #1
he also told me something like this. 'i have to tell you about a confidential thing about the company. please don't tell anyone because it puts me into trouble. but i might not be working there long someday. don't tell.'
in my mind, do i need to know this?
i'm completely disgusted.
he also told me that 'you will keep your job, i have tried to keep you with this job and work on your raise. the raise part, it's difficult oh well.'
he also wanted to offer 'finaicial help' paying for condo appraisal fee. i didn't ask for it. i was conversating about appraiser value of a home etc. i don't need his help. he also said he likes me.
so now, do you think he's trying to be funky fresh on me or just being nice?
2007-05-19 00:54:40 · update #2
fyi; he's not a realtor... later he told me his friend hasn't even accepted the job and still out of state. he also told me that 'i need to be more visible' at work. meaning, i must call each manager in my dept. to offer help as an ofc admin. thing is, my job consists of email/phone so ive been extremely busy about communicating with most of managers i supposed. i don't like seeing him or going to his office in a same location of crs b/c i just dont like to for some reason.
next time he asks for another funky hug, i'm gonna offer handshake. im sure hes got the message that evening that 'nothing fresh happened' at my home.
sigh... life.
2007-05-19 01:13:00 · update #3
typo. sorry, - correction: most of managers i support.. lol
2007-05-19 01:14:00 · update #4
Don't wait for the "next time" for any of this to happen. This is as a very pure case of a sexual harassment. Talk to your HR office immediately. You need to protect yourself. If you wait, he might get mad at you for not responding to his advances and cause you trouble by saying that you don't put adequate performance at work. If you complain about his harassment at that time, your credibility may be tinted. Please, complain about him right away. If you don't complain, you only encourage this kind of behavior. As soon as you complain you will be well protected from him. Just tell HR, what you described here and you will be fine, you will be protected the minute you complain and your job will be more secure than ever, as companies do not joke about this stuff anymore.
If you feel he crosses the line -- he IS crossing it. Do not tolerate it for another minute.
Good luck.
2007-05-19 01:28:31 · answer #1 · answered by Alexander K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from this man!! He is trouble! Scary trouble. If I were you I'd secretly (don't tell anyone) start looking for another job. Quickly. From now on make sure you always have someone with you when you "do business" with this man. A friend or another co-worker.
I'd suggest, he's seen your house now, there is NO reason what so ever for him to come back again...no matter what excuse he makes up. Do not let him con you into that again. Hopefully he will be leaving the company. But, If I were you, I'd start looking elsewhere.
2007-05-19 05:31:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's putting the moves on you for sure! If he visited your condo because you were going to put it up for sale, it was a lame excuse! (He isn't a real estate salesman is he?)
Hugging in the workplace is sexual harassment. He wants to know your business. Never ever give such personal information to a co-worker or "friend". Call a real estate agent, one who will help sell your condo, as well as relocate you, giving you the needed time to move, and if you find a better job take it!! Good Luck, I hope that he doesn't bother you again--if he does say you are not attracted to him in that way in a firm voice, and report the sexual harassment.
2007-05-19 01:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by V B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously this peson is trying to put the moves on you.
Don't ignore this. 1st thing you need to do is stop getting close to him, letting him com over, he might think you are liking the behavior. Your mistake was letting it get to this point in the 1st place. The first time things got weird you should have stopped it right there. Once you let one thing happen, it is a slippery slope, and then it only gets harder for you to address the situaiton.
This is not normal behavior for a boss, and since it is now happening outside of the workplace, I don't even know if you can go to HR and tell them, but I'd check the rules on that.
You need to tell him you are not comfortable....or this will not stop. The other option is to quit.
2007-05-19 00:59:30 · answer #4 · answered by Steve 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Review the sexual harassment policy for your company and tell him to BACK OFF and NEVER touch you again. Tell HR to file a complaint, (you cannot be fired for filing a complaint) you must protect yourself or he will think that you're okay with all this s**t.
DON'T accept ANY money from him at any time and never be alone with him. NEVER let him go to your condo again. If he shows up call the cops. This is the definition of sexual harassment and you NEVER have to allow it. EVER. Ask a co-worker to back you up. Take action on this immediately if not sooner! Action is the key here. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
2007-05-19 03:59:48 · answer #5 · answered by workerbee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is hitting on you and if you feel uncomfortable about it you should tell him about sexual harassment. If he doesn't back off, it's a good law suit. Who do you know would offer to help with your finances if he did not have other motives. He's your Boss not some old friend that you trust. Seek the advice of an attorney who practices in sexual harassment if after you tell your boss how you feel, he still continues these unwelcome advances!
2007-05-19 00:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by CRAIG C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is hitting on you. The next time he touches you ask him to move his hand. When he wants a hug, tell him you are the handshake type of person not a hugger. If he continues, you need to tell him straight up how you feel. If it still continues, file a complaint.
2007-05-19 01:14:08 · answer #7 · answered by TAT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from this horrible man... he is up to no good... He has misused his position and his trust. Talk to people you trust about the situation... Things with this guy might get out of hand... No normal person just goes to an employees home and starts touching them.
2007-05-19 00:55:52 · answer #8 · answered by cleveralbanian. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would seem your boss wants to help you for more reason than just oh I'm a helpful kind of guy. do let him intimidate you
the way he is doing. you sound like a smart person but so times people want to do more than just help a friend when it can also benefit them too. keep you head up and don't let anything happen that you don't want. because your boss might try to use his position to have an edge over you.!
2007-05-19 01:01:30 · answer #9 · answered by kay b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see everyone in the world try get chance in this situation including myself it always up to how u have react with this situation as im not able understood complete condition i can not say whos right or whos wronge but if u wanna saty away
fromh him u have ignore him thats best way
2007-05-19 01:03:21 · answer #10 · answered by *rishi* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋