we r enjoying our life as good as possible.. expect sex?...
sex plays a major part in our life ,evrybody knows, both of us have basic knowledge about sex, but i love my hubby very much (no more words to explain) .. vice versa...but am not that much interested in sex alone , i mean not much as him, since he loves me too much , he is not insisting me to have sex.. two months only has got completed but we wil have sex only once in a week sometimes once in ten days.. my hubby is very handsome and am beautiful too(true).. my hubby is interested in sex but not compelling me.. what shd i do to improve my sex feeling and to create interest in sex.. how wil i get interest in it.. i want to make my hubby float in sex..
can any one suggest or advise me regarding this...
2007-05-17 18:23:27 · 13 answers · asked by shwetha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hello shwetha,
It always takes a little time to get into synch with your partner. You haven't been married all that long and there is time enough to grow closer in all matters including sexuality. Would it be helpful to know that men generally are more interested in sexual activity than women right from the get go?
You expressed a desire to get interested in sex. But we need to know where you're coming from to find out why a naturally wonderful part of being a human being doesn't bring you that much pleasure.
I don't know what your upbringing is like. Did your family express affection freely when you were growing up or was affection never displayed and sex a taboo subject? Did you have unpleasant sexual experiences before you were married? Do you have trouble "letting go"? Does your husband have any idea what it would take to bring you the most pleasure? This isn't something people are usually born knowing; it has to be learned the way almost anything else does. Can you talk to each other or are you too embarassed to speak of such things?
Once you learn to communicate with each other, it will probably be much, much easier to communicate on other levels.
If you aren't enjoying sex as much as you could be, it's likely that he's feeling responsible for not bringing you to the level of passion he'd like. Like anything else you feel you don't do well, you don't do it as often as you would if it were something you felt you did well. It might explain why he's not approaching you so often.
If sex is fun for you and you hit the big BINGO, then you'll understand why there's such a big deal about it.
So... learn about your own body. Find out what feels good and pleasurable to you. (Don't be embarassed about it either. It is your body and as its owner-operator, you should know what brings you the good things as well as learning to put up with its problems.) After all, you'll be in your body for another 60 years!
Once you have figured out what you like and what you REALLY llike, then get in a romantic intimate situation and show your husband what you have learned. Teach him what you like; he isn't a mind-reader. He can also teach you what he likes... and with that knowledge you might be able to help him "float in sex."
At the very least, it will improve your sex life to no end!!
Best wishes for a long, happy, and sexually fulfilling marriage.
Tara
2007-05-17 20:29:04 · answer #1 · answered by Tara S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of women have this problem and it isn't easy approaching the subject with your husband without hurting some pride. Sex is a wonderful thing and if your hubby was doing it right you would have interest in it. I host adult toy parties for women and it amazes me how many women aren't happy at all with sex and you can't only place the blame on one person. men like to see their woman enjoy se, it is a huge turn on for them. So make adjustments, get involved in the activity don't just lay there and wait for him to do the work. Practice on your own and see what you like and then let him do it to you. get a book. If you are really interested in making sex something that you desire it can be done.
2007-05-17 18:40:46 · answer #2 · answered by kidzrdrivinmekrazy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well.....it sounds to me like you have no idea what you like in regards to sex and because you don't know, neither does your hubby. Which is why you're not too interested in sex!
I would suggest (and this sounds weird but trust me) that if you don't or haven't ever masturbated before that you start to. Because part of it is learning what feels good to you and what doesn't. In turn, you can teach your husband what you like and trust me....he really likes being able to please you.
Once you've got that side down you can focus on what he likes. Talk to each other, ask questions and experiment with clothes, music, sex positions, sex toys, whatever you guys want to do. It takes lots of trust to do this with your hubby but it's very rewarding.
2007-05-17 20:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by sgtlambsonswife 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is perfectly fine that you don't have make love every day. There is more to intimacy than sex. But if you want to improve your physical relationship, why don't you and your husband make sure you schedule time for yourselves. Communicate to each other and explore one another. As your husband what he wants out of a physical relationship and tell him your thoughts as well. Once you guys figure out what will satisfy each other's needs, you should be able to get the most fulfillment out of each other. Congratulations on your marriage, live and love forever.
2007-05-17 19:00:45 · answer #4 · answered by Brandi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sex once a week is fine. And Are you sure he is interested in sex as much as you think he is??? Ask him openly about it. If yes, then try eating foods like garlic, onion, chocolates, which increase the sexual hormones.
Also, even if you don't make love at least once in 3 days, soak in bath tub together. Kiss and show affection through touching, catching hands a lot. I think this might help . good Luck !!
2007-05-17 18:34:58 · answer #5 · answered by goddess_of_fame 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem shortly after marriage. Finally, we had a serious heart-to-heart discussion about it. He told me that he thought I wasn't even that attracted to him. I guess the man needs to feel sexy sometimes too. When I began to initiate it became so much better and more frequent. A little "show" if you know what I mean, started some good stuff too. :) Putting on sexy clothes every night was usually enough. He just wanted to know that he turned me on and that I enjoyed him. Now the "life" is great.
2007-05-17 18:38:02 · answer #6 · answered by LovemyBebe 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, you have to comfortable with the idea of sex b/c if you have it for him you are going to start to hate it even more. Try doing things solo to find out what you like etc, watch movies, experiment with him. Do something neither one of you have done with someone else etc... Relax it takes time. Don't force it upon yourself though!!! Also find an "outfit" that makes you feel like the HOTTEST/Sexiest girl on the planet, when you feel sexy other people ie your mate find u even more desirable! Good Luck!! Go get you some! :)
2007-05-17 18:37:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm....If I followed your question correctly, it sounds like yall need to work on your intimacy. not just sex alone. Here's some questions to ponder....
Does he try to connect to you on a deep emotional level??
Have you told him what he can/does do that makes you feel loved?
What expectations do yall both have? (In regards to how often you do it).
Look for a book at your Christian book store called "How we love" by Milan and Kay Yerkovich
I believe if yall deepen your emotional bonds..the desire will follow.
Good Luck!!
2007-05-17 18:44:07 · answer #8 · answered by Chief Paduke 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Surprise him with a naughty outfit or some thing crazy... That always gets a man's attention!!! =)
2007-05-17 18:27:41 · answer #9 · answered by Kim Possible 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens when you are newly weds. Girls are always slow in sex.. tell your partner what you like, where you like your husband to move his hands, you help him...do not get him too excited or he will not be able to last longer during intercourse.
2007-05-17 19:10:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋